Don't use match.com for online dating. They mislead and lie.

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I had a profile posted on match.com. I subsribed for a bit but i was not getting any good fits for me, so I canceled my account but left profile up to send/ recive winks, ect.. last week it said i had 2 emails from people, but i could not read them unless I subscribed. So I signed up for the 3 month, $50.00 package. I go to check the emails and they are from "bots" that want you to go to international dating sites, ect.. I called match.com customer service and told them I would not pay because your service was misleading and i want my whole account canceled.. They said they would take care of it. I told they speficially that I don't want to be charged for the first periord because it was misleading. They said they would take care of it. But they billed my card anyway.
I don't like it when a company lies to its customers, don't use match.com.

I never trust dating sites really, they cost to much and I am cheap. Dating is like porn sites yet the psyche and possibilities with respects to real-life are an addition to it.

Yeah there is alot of scams those dating sites do:

1) They allow phoney profiles of usually hot women that seem open to dating
anybody. But in fact they are usually just trying to get you to sign up for
there "web-cam". One contacted me.

2) That wink/contact right before your account expires is not just with match.com
eharmanony does the same scam. I did get two winks from real people on match.com and did infact meet one lady so its not a total scam.

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I see http://plentyoffish.com is free. One of the girls that winked me is even on there.

Even if they were from bots, they were still emails.

I'd take this as a lesson, If I was you I wouldn't have bothered paying that amount of money to read 2 emails.

Big monopolist companies have large sections of the market and charge outrageous rates and consider it legitimate and fair. What needs to happen is for a real honest company to come around and get everyone on it for like $5 a month and that's it.

It would then be a cheap dating monopoly.

I want Park Avenue!

I tried the following sites, and here are my experiences. I'll separate them by site.

Match.com
Using: abysmally horrible. I e-mailed over 20 girls, and only one wrote back. However, based on the tone of her writing, she clearly did not seem interested. Maybe she was bored or something.
Canceling: excellent. I cancelled the entire account, and deleted the profile. Not only did they remove me within 12 hours, they even issued me a refund.

SingleMe
Using: absolute worst! Not one out of 30 girls I contacted responded. Oh wait; one girl did, but she was MARRIED. What is this, MarriedMe? Interestingly, SingleMe was recently sued for allowing married people to sign up. Since I used to be a member, I got 2 months free as a part of the settlement. Again, not one out of 20 girls I contacted responded.
Canceling: good. Once my paid membership expired, I took down my profile.

JDate
Using: very bad. You'd have to be an anti-Semite to allow it to operate. I got three e-mails from women too attractive to be using a dating site. (You probably know where this is going.) I was skeptical, but wrote back to them anyway. They all turned out to be escorts selling their "companionship"
Canceling: excellent. Since I wasn't even a paid member, it was a matter of a few mouse clicks.

IMatchup
Using: terrible. You have to be a paid member to read messages. Me and my friend both signed up, and we got a message from the same girl using the same words. They probably have employees sending fake messages to non-paid members.
Canceling: fair. Cancelling my account took a few days. In the meantime, I got three messages from girls in my area. They were probably fake like the rest.

Yahoo Personals
Using: poor. No one responded to my messages, even though I only contacted girls who clearly did not look attractive. Why sign up for a dating site if you'll ignore every message sent to you? The redeeming feature was an integration with other Yahoo services.
Canceling: good. One e-mail to customer service took care of it; I even got to rant and rave to them about the low quality of the site.

Book of Matches
Using: fair. The people on this site seem more genuine than most of the paid dating sites, adn the fake profiles number in single digits. However, most girls will ignore the messages, save for a few diamonds in the rough on there.
Canceling: I still have my profile on there, although it's been many months since the last time I checked it.

Plenty of Fish
Using: decent. The people on there seem quite geniune; there are a few fake profiles, but they're very easy to detect. This site has forums, so it doubles as a MySpace clone, and not everybody on it is looking for a date. Those that are will ignore 90% of the messages they get. If you're determined to find a date on it, forget the concept of standards.
Canceling: I have profile on there, and I actively use it. I've even had a few dates with the girls I met on that site.

Last edited by Aspie1 on 23 Jul 2006, 5:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Here are my experiences.

Yahoo! Personals
I sent smiles to a very large number of members throughout Ontario, Michigan, and Ohio. Unfortunately I received no responses from anyone in Southwestern Ontario, although I did receive a smiles from a member from Akron and messages from two girls elsewhere in Ontario. Later on I finally received a smile from a local girl, but she never sent me her e-mail address. I never bothered to pay for the site because the number of smiles I was receiving was too low compared to other sites. Rating: 6/10

Date.ca
While there were lots of local singles, I smelled a scam. I received several apparent e-mails from members, but I would be required to pay in order to read them. No thanks! I fired off a complaint to customer service, and they sent a canned response saying that this was their business model and they believed it works well. Rating: 2/10

Lavalife
Lavalife is the site I stuck around with the longest, because A) it had a lot of local singles and B) a sizable number of them responded favourably to smiles and messages. Unfortunately none of the local girls have materialized into anything. One was the girl originally from New Brunswick with nothing better to do than be rude to me. There was one very good one, however, from the Toronto area, and had I lived closer, it could have worked - but distance is a problem for me at this point in my life. I have met two girls from the site in person, but I didn't click with either of them. I do recommend the site, except for the somewhat high price. Rating: 8/10

Match.com
I subscribed to Match.com for three months last winter, and I did manage to meet one girl in person. Unfortunately there was no chemistry. I did make contact with two American girls (one from Detroit and one from Akron), but again, distance was a problem. Most of the e-mails I sent were never answered, compared to Lavalife. I did like that they had an offer for a three-day trial. Also, despite that I have cancelled my account, I frequently receive e-mails from them telling me people have been viewing my profile. Rating: 7/10

Eharmony
I was one of the 20% that was not compatible with anyone on the site. The bigger problem, however, was that the interface did not permit you to make changes to your criteria (such as geographical region) once you reached the end. It also does not allow browsing of different people. I fired off an inquiry to customer service and they didn't even bother to answer my question. Instead they said that they want their users to be over 21. Rating: 1/10

Plentyoffish
This is the only site I am using at the moment. There are plenty of local members that I have contacted but so far only one has replied. I'm not sure if I'm interested in her. The site has a rather cheap looking interface with a lot of stretched/compressed thumbnail photos but the fact that it is free is a huge offset to this. Rating: 7/10

I'm not upset about paying to read the emails, even emails from bots. I'm upset that the guy I talked to in customer servce said I would not have to pay because they were from bots, but they charged me anyway. Another case of being told one thing from a company and then have them do the oppisite.

I had the same problem. I knew I was not that crazy so I re-took the test only
changed a few things (said I got along with my parents! I lied the second time)
Then they took me! I never paid for their service. I did do alot of reading about
the service and they are from what I read scum!

We're talking average, reasonably attractive (girl next door) people who have trouble hooking up; why wouldn't they respond to most of us? Unlike random people at a bar you know they're looking. A level pitch/playing field for us with AS. This should be as easy as fishing in a barrel.

But it doesn't work!

Thanks for the reviews. It isn't just me!

Tried a local service I think no longer exists, Yahoo and Metrodate.

They suck.

Got the fake winks from real members on Yahoo, a trick to get me to sign up.

Traded messages for a while with a semi-hot Cuban girl (for real - she wasn't model-hot, just average-looking but really into sex) but we were too different.

Met one woman through Yahoo. Zero chemistry. She bailed in the middle of it. I didn't mind. That bad.

The one I met through the local service was so bad that I bailed in the middle of it!

There was another local service, on a BBS. Got as far as the phone with one, asked her out but decided against a date because she was too different. Not a bad person though. Got as far with another, made a date... and got stood up!

Met two women years apart through old-style print personals back in the 1990s. Zilch.

I hook up every few years with women I meet online but never through these services.

Tried plentyoffish last year thanks to good reviews at WrongPlanet and was IMing a bit with somebody... then I hooked up with somebody not on a dating site and dropped it.

Based on what I've read here I may try it again and maybe give Lavalife a chance.

I think the reason a lot of girls don't respond to messages on these sites is because they're looking for someone very specific. Don't forget, in many cases there are far more men than women on these sites, and the women get bombarded with e-mails and have to make a choice as to which one they will reply to. But that's just my theory - I've never been able to actually ask someone why they didn't respond!



We used to have a local service known as 519singles long before I was interested in a relationship, but that site no longer exists.



I would give it a shot. It's a bit pricey but the quality is pretty high.

None of that has worked for me either by the way, and I'm female.

I was surprised none of the guys on here got any messages. It's probably true about there being more men than women on the sites. I got lots of replies.

I went out with 4 guys, all of which were decent, fairly attractive people. I think the problem is misadvertisement, even if no one is selling anything. It's so easy to misinterpret what someone has written about themselves. Writing about myself is difficult as well. How do you sum up a 3 dimensional person on a one dimensional website?

Personally, when I'm into someone, I'm not sure what it is. It's more of an intuitive thing. Dating sites make a lot of money off of us b/c we fall for all the crap. So we write summaries about ourselves and what we are and what we want...simultaneously blindsiding ourselves.

We should just have a big Aspie convention.

Red

That's easy. Just re-name the Star Trek Convention.

Which is worse, when they don't write back, when they kick you in the teeth with a canned 'not interested' message or they tell a white lie and say they've found someone and days/weeks later you see they're still looking?

Tried [email protected] ages ago and a girl there went out of her way to be hurtful and wrote a response: 'Thanks but no'.

Good point! The market is really in girls' favour. I read something that makes sense. Most men, NT or AS, don't have sex that often. What happens is a number of women hook up with a smaller number of really handsome guys. Just like 'Wild Kingdom' - reproductively it makes sense, passing on the strong genes, etc. Even though the sex is only recreational, people still are turned on for those reasons, unconsciously of course.

Another issue for those of us in our 30s and up is, even if we do beat the odds and hook up, many of the women, and especially the hot ones, have baggage - they're divorced with kids. Lots of responsibility to take on if you're considering marriage! And many of them, understandably, only want a man who can handle it.



That's what happened on my Yahoo date. Nobody's fault. And she looked semi-attractive in her photo but was really built like a beach ball.



Good point. Writing long essays AS-style doesn't work. I think they're nice but AS or NT, we date who we're physically attracted to. I think I just need to post good photos - the trouble is what I see in the mirror (not Richard Gere or Brad Pitt but not bad either if I may say so) doesn't jibe with the pics I've got. Obviously they're not good enough. (The one on my blog doesn't suck at that size but these services blow it up and it looks like crap when they do that. Anyway I've got cooler glasses now and the beard is now a decent outsized goatee.) I may ask a photog I know through work to take some candid shots without explaining why of course, or just buy a digital camera - do they make them with timers so you can photograph yourself?

If you write a letter to your credit card company and tell them you were charged for a service you did not receive, and tell them when and what (ie the details on the statement), they will refund your money. It takes ages, like months, but eventually you get your money back.

I've had zero luck with dating sites myself. Almost none of them have anyone in my area (I live in a small town) and even if they do, I'm not the one they're looking for. Travel isn't really an option for me, as I can't drive (nor do I want to.) I'm still living with my parents and have no plans on that changing anytime soon. Perhaps I wasn't made for love.