Having low standards

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My standards especially when it comes to physical attractiveness in women is near rock bottom, okay I would not date an morbidly obese woman (she is heavy enough to can't pick her self up), but certainly an overweight one. Although my standards are high when it comes to personality. I believe strongly my only asset in the dating market is that I am really nice, sweet, if not innocent. Some women, especially those with self esteem problems (often aren't regarded as ugly by a lot of other guys or are overweight) really like nice, sweet, dependable, faithful, loyal guys.

I know I am always going to be well a beta male without much self confidence, I can't really become an alpha male type that many women are attracted to. I know a lot of things I do in my life like going to university studying accounting, doing everything to build up a nice resume is to prevent me from living a life dependent on welfare and achieve the things in life a lot of other people taken for granted. Also I am a really nice, sweet kind of guy and women generally go for the arrogant cocky alpha male types, which I can never be. Because I am nice, sweet and also pretty modest kind of person, because I had to be modest in my life and take nothing forgranted.

I am kind of interested in wither lowering your standards is a good thing or not when it comes to women.

Hi newchum. I dont think you are lowering your standards, in fact you know you wish for a girl who you could have a true partnership with, someone who you have not chosen on looks alone.
I know it seems like loads of guys go only for the girl that fits the media obsessed criteria for female attractiveness, but they are missing out, and are slaves to their 'alpha maleness'.
You sound like a great guy, and the things you mention, such as building your future are very desirable to a female.
There are plenty of girls who long for a kind, sensitive guy, believe me.
I thinkyoure on the right track, newchum, all the best to you.

Not being obsessed with looks is not low standards.

It sounds like you're doing fine.

newchum we have all been there with the fayt chicks scenario....we gotta start somewhere..sheeez....but dont htink of yourself as lowerign your standards....aspie males are honest and morally correct and good providers and we attract the carign nuturing types the really nice girls...the chicks who go for the alpha males want a good looking husband and the alpha male attitude but those chicks tend to stray and arent the nice types thta aspies attract..be yourself dude embrace your aspiness and feel confident to go for the good lookign ones, start with the fat ones and build yourself up, but dont settle for any chick unless you love her.

I still prefer porn. There I can enjoy all the fit, skinny women who laugh at me in real life.

loner, your honesty is refreshing even for me, a fellow aspie. im glad to see you back here on th elist.

I've been lowering my standards ever since puberty kicked in. At first, I was feeling hopeful, and tried going for the best-looking girls. As I kept getting rejected, I lowered my standards farther and farther. Now I reached a point where I go for only unattractive-looking and/or overweight ones. This strategy worked out extremely well, and as a result, nearly all of my first times were with an overweight or unattractive girl. This includes the first date ever and the first kiss ever. Well, the girl who took my virginity was actually really hot, but she was an escort. I've reached a point where all the hot girls have no appeal to me whatsoever, like mannequins in a clothing store. Sure, they're nice to look at, but haven't gone near one in years. (The major exception to that was during my recent trip to Israel. I had no choice there; all the girls I saw looked good. So when I went clubbing, I ended up dancing with them, and they were so friendly, I was amazed.)

But let's leave the Promised Land memory lane, and get back to the real world. In conclusion, lowering your standard is not bad at all. I repeat, it's not bad. It's a harsh necessity.

I have no idea if it's from the porn or not, but when I see a pretty woman all I think of is dominating and controlling her. You guys all know I' a fat guy who have never completed high school. Maybe dreaming of actually tying up a perfect woman, skinny, fit and educated and taking full power over her body is some kind of really serial killer fantasy I have of controlling the women who bully me, I don't really know.

loner these fantasies are unusual but i am sure a lot of guys have passing fantasies about this from time to time.....looking at porn is a normal enough male persuit but fantasising about dominating and tieing up women is unusual.
have yu spken to a professional about these fantasies?

Nah, the dominating things isn't that strange. Plus, there's people who fantasize about being dominated! Perfect match, eh?

I have relatively low standards, and they go down significantly every year.

Two years ago, I would've only dated the top 50% of women. Today, that figure is 95%.

My perfect woman would be smart, educated, intelligent. I am not sure about her being skinny or fit as well. Such a woman with all those qualities would match myself nicely, since I am smart, intelligent getting a bachelor's degree and also getting myself pretty fit and in shape. I am getting a university education mainly because It is only real hope of getting a decent job and getting myself fit because my health concerns I have real or imagined.

I seem to have very high standards too and the frustrating thing for me is that all the girls I´ve had a real crush on through the years are also the ones most NT oriented. I suppose I could lower my standards but I don´t think that will work in the long run.

I'm a chick and I like porn. But, I doubt the women in porno’s or strip clubs are the type that would laugh at you in real life; even if they are skinny and pretty. They have many problems.

Ya know where you might find those yucky girls? Hair salons, strolling in the mall with their girl buddies, or my favorite:
.…....The girls on the street who wash your car with their pom-poms and scream at you from the road with their shrill voices. My boyfriend gets a kick out of getting his car washed by these cheerleaders and then driving off calling them Idiots. He can't wait until spring comes when they're out on the side of the road harassing everyone. He also drives by and calls them "Losers." I usually duck cause I get too embarrassed. Those are the type of girls that picked on him and on me.

Regarding the thread:

My standards swing back and forth between high and low at different times in my life. I had such a long list. Now I just want someone to be my best friend and have sex. No physical list or requirements.

I was getting ready to scream at this thread..........but Summer nailed it for me. I got the best friend part (a male Aspie), but not the sex. Oh well, a disappointment, but friendship trumps every time.

SheDevil
(NT)