I Still Love Her...

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Back in the day (2002) One of my classmates pretty much stunned me at first sight, she was kinda flirty but it never really went anywhere. She did not meet the beauty standards set in Sports Illustrated S.E. or Maxim, but to me she was the most beautiful woman in the world. In 2008 i had the opportunity to work with her at walmart for about a year, hadnt seen her since 02. I ended up losing my job after a remodeling accident, then i started at the convenience store. She stopped in today, and it all came rushing back to me.

She dropped out of school, had a kid and got married. She never showed all that much real interest in me, and of course, i had no clue how to flirt back, or how to move the relationship forward, i missed out on a huge opportunity. But years later, i still freaking love her. she will never know, her marine corps husband would turn me into dust if he found out.

Anyone else know someone who years later, they still love, even though there was no relationship to begin with?

Yes. It's my biggest regret to date that I never told that person, nor understood at the time that they were blatently trying to tell me something. Anyway I haven't seen them for years.

Hindsight can teach you a lot; but it's torture if you linger on the 'what if's' for too long (years in my case!)

I do wonder if perhaps the best way to 'move on' is to tell them just so they know, no strings attached, (even anonymously!). Obviously nothing is going to come of it, but at least you get it out of your system.........although, I suppose that could be interpreted as quite a selfish and possibly slightly creepy act.

I hope you find someone who 'bowls you over' just as much as she obviously has

I can't move on, get over this relationship. I don't listen to any music, look at pictures, and have removed everything that reminds me of it. I even avoid movies about love, avoid any kind of dwelling on it. I honestly feel my heart is physically damaged. I am not waiting for anything to change and resigned to I am going to love this person forever. All my life I have had relationships but never did I ever feel ok. I never felt ok a day in my life around anyone. We didn't split because we fell out of love. It is too complicated to explain. I couldn't keep contact going, the separation tortured me. This is actually easier than the daily torture of separation but a deeper, mortal wound. I know this is love because I would never wish this on anyone, I hope with all my heart I feel this alone. Love is so very perfect in so many ways when it is the real thing.

I don't really think love is a real emotion. I have obsessed over people for a long time after I stopped talking to them though.

You're in love with the fantasy you made this person into.

Indeed, and that is exactly why I have no sympathy.