I don't get the point of fancy weddings.

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I've never been the girl who looks forward to her wonderful, magnificent wedding. I just don't see the point.
1. Rings: I understand that rings are signs of your marriage. I just don't understand why they have to be expensive. I'm a simple person. I don't wear make-up or jewelry. I don't even wear nail polish (but that's mostly because I chew my nails). When I am proposed to, I don't want a fancy ring. I don't want diamonds. I don't even need a gem. I would be perfectly happy with just a plain, inexpensive ring.
2. Weddings: I hate the thought of a big wedding. What a waste of money. What a waste of time. Sure, wedding dresses are pretty. But you really only wear them once. Then they sit in your closet for the rest of your life. Personally, I want to be married in jeans and a tshirt. They are comfy and I am going to wear them again. As for the wedding itself, I want to be married in a courthouse, with my husband and a few witnesses. The thought of a regular wedding makes me shudder. I really dislike parties. I also dislike churches. Why would I spend my money on something that I wouldn't like? My mom told me that weddings aren't for the couple being married, they are for the people who come to your wedding. What?! That makes no sense. If I was forced to have a church wedding, I wouldn't show up.

I can't be the only one who thinks like this.

What I don't understand as someone seeking to study Psychology why do things have to change from Boyfriend/girlfriend lovey/hugs etc. dates etc. to tieing the knot then you are at each others throats and such. What happen to the hugging/kissing love? Oh I decided to be with you forever now so are BF/GF relationship is out the window. IMO that's stupid. (Sorry to get off topic.) I kind of agree weddings are crazy expensive as are the rings. I think I'd choose an odd ring for example I think a gold ring with the S Superman Logo would be cool or a colored stone I like it doesn't have to be $1,000's dollars and diamond. I honestly with weddings don't know who I'd invite as bridesmaid and such. I don't have friends (outside of WP much) so it wouldn't be many people and I don't see my relatives that often.

Weddings do cost an unnecessary amount of money. My wedding ended up being very simple... but mostly because it felt odd paying for an elaborate party when I'd cut the guest list down to only the people I wanted to be there (my parents weren't even included since I couldn't have my dad without my mother). It did cost a pretty penny to have the wedding at the site that I picked (it is a historic location)... But we had fun and that's really what people remember.

My ring is a gold band. My husband's ring is a gold band. We didn't have money for fancy rings and, honestly, I was really uncomfortable wearing my diamond engagement ring (it's awkward to have something sticking up from your finger) so I wouldn't want anything pricey and flashy, anyway. I've thought about replacing our rings with titanium, because that's a cooler metal, but now I'm emotionally bound to this yellow gold band so I'm keeping it.

The big wedding is tradition and society based. You don't have to do it if you don't want it. Your wedding won't be hailed as the most elegant ever on theknot.com if you wear blue jeans and t-shirts and ask everybody to bring a dish to the reception, but if that's what fits, that's what you should do. I'd recommend any bride get their best friend to be their Maid of Honor because having someone there who knows you so well and can really be honest with you is invaluable. My best friend kept me grounded and really provided a lot of support to make the day special for my husband and me, as well as those who attended.

Neither. I might consider one if I farted money though.

Agreed. If I got married I would elope. The first person I told would be my boss, to clear some vacation time.

I'm gonna have to say I agree in principle, but not in reality.
I am such a girl

The rings I happen to want (this and this) also happen to cost - they have to last, and wearing a ring will drive me mental so it's at least going to look pretty.

Weddings - waste of money-ish, it is money better spent, which is exactly why my partner and I will probably never be able to marry...we'd rather eat...but I'd not agree with it being a waste of time. Granted less money would go on the wedding, being pagan means for us a courthouse wedding for the official part (in jeans and a t-shirt) then outdoors for the handfasting part that actually means something (a nice dress rather than wedding dress). We don't have huge numbers of friends, he doesn't speak to his family, I only speak to one half of mine who I generally dislike anyway, so it'd be small...we'd just want a big party after, that's where most of the money would go - a huge party where all our friends can get drunk with us

The point of it is to declare your love and commitment in front of your religious community, friends and family, plus the tax and legal issues, it has to be something fancy to separate the day from every other day you're together, to cement the change in your relationship and lives together. That's where the idea of it being for the guests comes into it - you know you love each other and will be together forever, but you do it to show everyone else this.

I think the wedding can be a good test of the relationship. If you're on the same page about them it means you have a lot in common.

if a girl demands an expensive engagement ring and a huge expensive wedding then don't marry her.

She is more concerned about being a "princess" than she is about being your wife.

Ah cmon it keeps people employed.

Divorce solicitors wouldn't know what to do with themselves if people didn't get married anymore

I think expensive rings and weddings are a big waste of money. If I had to spend that kind of money on something wedding-related I would rather it be spent on the honeymoon.

I like expensive rings, because they last forever.
But I don't get spending sooo much money on one day that'll be over soon!
I want to get married just me and stefan, his parents and my best friend.

For me, the ceremony isn't so bad (and that's coming from a guy). Then again, I'm fairly religious, and I guess you could say I'm into the various ceremonies. It doesn't have to be elaborate, but just one where all the requisite things are done (i.e. the vows and what not).

I am going to do something that is completely rare and a previously unforseen event: I am going to agree with Wombat. A woman that is asking for the most expensive, elaborate ceremony possible (and a super high-end (and expensive) ring, is more likely only concerned about her own status and not truly committed to the relationship.

Overall, however, the big issue I have is the reception. I never understood why people have to have a party after the ceremony. All wedding receptions are is an even greater money sink than the ceremony. Yeah, sure, food's involved, but it's often really expensive food. Also, what's with the expectation of dancing? I probably won't ever get married (due to never getting a relationship, it's kind of a pre-requisite in the western world), but if I ever were to do so, I would NOT have a reception. Or, if I absolutely had to, it would be at my house, and just be some average house gathering. Not something with all that BS pageantry and dancing...

Status symbols and/or people have been told they need one by media/friends etc. Filling the coffers of the massive wedding industry.

Most people here are gonna agree, myself included. This is our aspieness coming out. We like things to make logical rational sense, and most social rituals do not pass this "why are we doing this again" test that we aspies tend to always be asking. I never saw the point of the ritual at all. If two people love each other and commit to each other, why is the rest of it necessary. Why should anyone else but the two people in question be involved.

The answer lies within the things that we don't understand as aspies. I have never, and will never, understand intuitively what makes people want to be around other people, or like other people, or feel like they're a part of society. If I want to be around people, it's because I like who they are, not simply by default because they are there. If I want to be like someone, it's because I admire their character, not because I simply want to be "normal". If I want to be a part of a group, it's because I believe in the group and what it stands for, not because I just need to be in one.

Marriage is a social ritual. It signifies a change in a person's status within society. In ancient times, where women were regarded as property, it implied the man's legal claim and rights over the woman. As time passed, the legal status of women improved and the ritual lost most of it's legal significance (though it does retain some legal ramifications). Even so, people still feel a need to have a certain status change when they are in a long term relationship. Married people are treated somewhat differently by society than are couples who are just BF/GF. Most aspies don't care how we're seen by others until and unless it causes us some tangible difficulty in life. NTs do care, hence the ritual remains.

Rings are simply a symbol started by our ancestors. Their original meaning was symbolic to begin with, and now only remembered as historical trivia. Whatever meaning they have is, and always has been, subject to the whims of people who decide what that meaning is. At the moment, the notion of the importance of the ring as a symbol is perpetuated by the international diamond cartel (who aired the "a diamond is forever" commercials) and jewelry companies that make a great deal of money by exploiting this ancient symbol of love and commitment. The most tangible importance they have today would be that some women would enjoy showing off their expensive ring to their friends as a way of going "look how much my man loves me", etc. It's a bit petty to me, but w/e.

I just like pretty rings. They wouldn't have to be expensive, just pretty. ^^.
But if he doesn't mind buying me an expensive ring - who am I to say no?