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Wrote this some emo day, irrelevant- it's not as difficult as I lead on and I think it was all just because my last encounter was with a really nasty girl and she smelt bad and her personality was repulsive. And was holding that as the current standard when really I don’t think a girl I would find even remotely attractive personality wise would have this problem. But due to the aspie effect i think those previous stated factors really got to me more then a normal person and were the actual dilemma meaning more of a distraction/desire issue. (She would talk about her vagina bleeding on a daily basis- including one story about how she had a dead fetus pieces come out of her..., she smoked constantly, she wouldn't stop talking about her ex, and though she looked pretty good with a decent body her personality was EXTREMELY repulsive and she basically had to beg me for three weeks to talk to her because I already knew who she was before she approached me.)

Apologize for those who tried to help in vein.

Though I do think I would murder some people if someone threw me in an orgy...

Last edited by liveandletdie on 13 Jul 2010, 9:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Not sure what 'risks of physical touch' are unless you have a fear of germs. In which case you maybe OCD and need a drs. help.
Other than that you need to confront the head on. Start touching women when you greet them i.e.; lightly hand on shoulder for moment (so nice to see you), help an older woman walk with support (do a little volunteer at retirement home),
"can I get you something to _____(eat, drink,) touch their arm,
girl you like hold hands, put arm around her. - A little longer each time.

I used to be afraid to hug guys, so when one found out in a group therapy he began hugging me all the time. Now, I own a restaurant, and hug half my customers as a greeting.

maybe comfortable isn't the right word...

physical touch to anyone sends shock waves through my body and makes me angry and bitter. very hard for me to enjoy any physical contact unless it is in anger =/..which is clearly not what I want.

I know what this is like. I have a boyfriend, and though I am attracted to him and the thought of him touching me doesn't bother me, when we get into any situation where his is actually touching me I start to feel ill and get quite angry. This reaction doesn't make sense to me. Is this an aspie thing? I don't have any advice, but I can at least sympathize...

Idk, have an orgy or two maybe?
all that constant touching and pretty soon you'll be so used to touch.
sorta like learning to swim the hard way, where they just chuck you into the deep end and you learn to swim or sink.

OK- I totally understand now.
The principle still applies, only what you need is massive desensitization.

Two examples:

The group I mentioned, there was a woman who as a child was beaten and could not handle people touching her at all. The therapist (who was probably the most influential person in my life) had her select someone from the group who she trusted the most - that would be me. He had me rub her feet for a long as she could handle it. We did this each week. When she was comfortable with that we did the same with her legs, then hands, then arms then back etc. Slowly she would allow a few people to hug her.

Also my son-in-law, also was beaten as a child. When we first met him I did not know this and me being me, would always hug him and he usually shied away from it but tolerated the hugs. It was not until I saw him flinch from a rapid hand to his shoulder by my husband that I realized what was happening with him and guessed his background.
However, the more I hugged him the more he relaxed with it. Not everyone was out to harm him. Now he is my partner in the restaurant and he too, gives and receives hugs from many of the customers each day and he is a fabulous father to his two girls.

So, I still believe desensitization is the way to go. You would need to take even smaller steps, choose someone you trust not to hurt you, commit your self to doing it and not back out at the moment you begin to feel uncomfortable, just go with it, even if you have to start with just a hand resting on your foot three times a week and may even take a xanax before for the first few times. (man is that bad sentence structure, mom would have a kiniption)
I think trust and commitment are the main points.
There is a TV show called Obsessions I think, they use this technique and had a person on who did not like to be touched as well.

Also, you are an adult, take charge and don't let your fear/anger rule you. I had agoraphobia (too long for that one- same principle) and a fear of needles and eating fish (not as extreme or important than your fear but it is what I had to work with). I felt that it was a silly fear for an adult to have so I started by donating blood (asking for the best phlebotomist they had and explaining my problem and what I was trying to accomplish). I also started to eat a few bites of McDonnalds fish sandwiches because I thought they would be a safe place to start. I can do both these things now, not with complete ease, but I can have blood tests, injections and eat some fish without having a meltdown.

You might also want to check out a book called 'Hope and Help for your Nerves' by Dr. Claire Weekes. http://www.claireweekes.com.au/index.html


Much advancement to you and just go for it. Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead.

if that happened there would be that many dead people...

no offense- that would piss me off that much.

still the same sort of...though I got a hug from my grandma today and it felt enjoyable (not in that say if any one is sick enough) so I think it is really just people I do not like, or are very uncomfortable with and happens occasionally with people I do like (family members touch me and my skin goes cold and thin as I meant).

changed my post...not sure if you can still relate- was wondering if this touch issue is every single time? If it isn't you'll be alright, if it is...get some help- just kidding but work on it if its possible so you can enjoy it more, just as others have suggested and let those who might touch you know that your sensory is acting up if they know you have aspergers.