i hope that this is the start of something new for my life

Post Reply New Topic

After having an okcupid profile for over a month, I finally worked up the courage to send a message. Here's to hoping that I can turn my life around...

Don't put so much into it. Online dating is kind of crap. Go to Meetup.com and find local meetups in your area, try to hang out with people you have something in common with.

OkCupid's crackpot match system does not find such people. Yet I know of one person who claims to have created her entire social life from Meetup.com, and I'm trying to follow suit. Because it's the only way to sense if you have chemistry with someone - in a public setting, without pressure.

I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors

People on here have been telling me to try and expand myself for years, and as soon as I say that I'm actually trying to do that, I get insulted?

You'll be lucky to get anything from a single message. The people who usually have success on dating sites usually send hundreds of messages.

I wasn't trying to dispute that. I was trying to say that i sent one message, hopefully the first of many. And the first response is "you're wasting your time"... I thought people would be happy that I was trying to do something different for once, but no...

This is part of why I prefer to just sit in my familiar environs...

just sent a message to another person. Point is, I'm trying to overcome my fear of sending messages. That's been a big thing holding me back...

keep it up man!! i met someone online who i have everything in common with. im thinkin we'll be meeting soon enough. ive had it for almost a year, and i haven't sent loads of messages either (not that it's a bad idea, of course..).

if you haven't discovered it already, okcupid has a great match search system; you can *really* narrow it down based on many variables.

Well I think it's good if you're making an effort, and hopefully you won't be discouraged if you don't get a GF right away, but keep it up.

they arent insulting you they are insulting okcupid. dating sites all they really do is streamline the rejection process.

when people tell you to branch out they mean just getting out goto a bar have a few drinks

A family member of mine met his wife on Match.com. Online dating can work very well.

I wish you the best of luck! Good to see you finally trying to do something about your situation!

one step at a time, TOS, - one step at a time, .
this is not so much about getting a girlfriend straight away, but about you feeling you got something to offer and you thinking that somebody else might be interested in it, this is brilliant..

and who knows, you might end up like i did,
bought my first computer in 12/2000, met my husband on-line on a chat channel in 01/2001, upped and left my job and home country to get married in 04/2001 without having ever met him in person - my friends said i'm crazy, and i have to admit i was, but hey : who dares, wins, , and i got freakin' lucky.
we had our ups and some horrible downs, but we are hanging in there, , and most of all, we have a lovely little boy, who just turned 9 a few days ago.

best of luck to you!
oh and - don't do what i did, it is dangerous, irresponsible and downright mad.
but then you do not strike me as somebody, who acts before he thinks, so you will be just fine!! !

It could be a slow process but keep it up - that's where I'm at now.

Good Luck ToS!

Good job, dude!

ToadOfSteel,

BRAVO! Way to go! The important thing is you began - albeit small baby steps - but you took the plunge!

Should you need encouragement, I volunteer to be a cheerleader! I will give you the pep talk of a lifetime!

Where are you from in NJ? I grew up in Old Bridge/Matawan (Middlesex County)!

Keep us posted!

Leslie - A Hopeful Romantic who firmly believes that Hope does spring eternal!