Hello. I am 39 yrs old and my friend is 38. We met a year ago and I always noticed that he seemed different than anyone I had ever met. He seems to have Autistic traits and after going to see a Psychologist she agrees and explained to me why he behaves the way that he does. I personally started reading about Schizoid Personality Disorder and quite a few of those symptoms describe my friend to a T. This leads me to my question, is he able to have a romantic relationship or marriage? I have spent the past year trying to adjust to his way of life because I want him in my life. I try all that I can to make him feel secure and comfortable, I am patient with him and try to be understanding even when he goes a month without calling or stopping over. When we are together he seems to love our conversations and he goes through spurts where he will contact me in some way every day but then he goes through these times when he distances himself. He says he doesnt want to stop being friends and neither do I, but it is so hard trying to get him to understand that I feel more than friendship for him. I tell him but I feel like we are speaking in two different languages. I ask him directly if he knows how I feel and he says he doesnt and cant try to figure it out. It's so frustrating but I keep reminding myself that he thinks differently than I do and than what I am used to. I feel so sad and insecure when he vanishes and he seems to be stunned by my hurt feelings each time he returns. We have talked about what it would be like to be married but he never flirts and then I get confused as to whether he is attracted to me or not. He said when we first met that I was beautiful and he does get jealous sometimes but he shows these things in a way that I'm not used to. Are these behaviors to be expected from someone on the Spectrum or with Schizoid traits? Biggest question is, how do I know how he feels if he wont say it even when I ask? The marriage we talked about was great and I felt so confident that we were heading in that direction but then its like he changes when he feels like we are getting closer. What is happening here, does anyone know?
15 Feb 2011, 7:32 pm
