How many people here wish dating and marriage never existed?

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Non_Passerine
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24 Feb 2011, 10:53 pm

I do. (no pun intended) Then we wouldn't have to worry about all of this.

Although marriages extrapolate to family relationships. (parents and kids, grandkids, cousins, etc)



wefunction
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24 Feb 2011, 11:06 pm

While I don't wish them gone, I do think relationships and families would do just as well without the institution of marriage as it is known today. I think there should be a separation of legal partnerships and a commitment made between two people. I know it would never happen but I think it would do a great deal of good to have them separate.

I think there should be greater ethics and manners taught for dating (for both boys and girls). They don't have to be the archaic ones about how the man always pays, but these ethics and manners do have to put one's partner before oneself and emphasize the importance of getting to know each other and showing respect. Get that focus on dating someone you want to know instead of having a date. Learning to honor your partner starts during dating. Respect and honor are necessary elements in all acts of love. I do think dating is important for finding partners, growing closer and introducing them to your family. But I think it needs a make-over for the next generation to really produce relationships that are based on good things... relationships that will last.

But before someone gets obsessed with the pressure to have a partner - and that peer pressure is bound to happen no matter what we do to dating ethics - we need to each every person how to accurately calculate their worth and not underestimate themselves. We have to teach people how to believe in themselves. If they don't have any respect for or confidence in themselves, there is no way they can love anyone else. We have to make stronger people.



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24 Feb 2011, 11:24 pm

Non_Passerine wrote:
I do. (no pun intended) Then we wouldn't have to worry about all of this.

Although marriages extrapolate to family relationships. (parents and kids, grandkids, cousins, etc)


What just because you can't find someone no one else should be together? Is that what you mean? :?: :roll: :roll:


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Grisha
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25 Feb 2011, 12:10 am

I understand you aren't completely serious about this, but I think it would be selfish and wrong to wish the whole thing didn't exist - it's a terrific thing for those who are able to accomplish it.

Personally, I wish there was some way to "disable" the desire for romantic attachment at the individual level. I would LOVE to just forget the whole thing and find something to do that I am much better at, but it just keeps coming back like a nasty virus... :?



Non_Passerine
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25 Feb 2011, 12:32 am

I just feel that monogamy and making commitment to one person is just too much pressure and makes love a fierce competition. If people went as individuals and not as couples, there would be less pressure to land the dream man/ woman.



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25 Feb 2011, 1:25 am

No more relationships? Just mindless sex, like bonobos? Okay, but that might be a hard sell to my gf. Call the police if I dont come back.

And I demand increased funding for STD research before we change systems.



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25 Feb 2011, 3:24 am

I wish the dating scene didn't exist & we had arranged marriages instead


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countzarroff
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25 Feb 2011, 4:06 am

To be honest, I think just like anything in life, it has its ups and downs. If there were no relationships among human beings it would be much easier for each other sexually but it would probably be harder for us emotionally. Human beings tend to require a sense of companionship that I think requires some kind of close relationship.



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25 Feb 2011, 4:41 am

I don't mind - I just wish I wasn't able to have romantic feelings.



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25 Feb 2011, 5:03 am

i'm part chinese and hispanic and its in both of my ancestries' culture to have fixed or arranged marriage. but i dont know if i'd like dating and marriage to not exist. it could be both a great experience and could also be painful and difficult. i just take it as part of life and try to be okay having it as that..


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25 Feb 2011, 5:09 am

I don't wish the dating game or marriage to not exist. But I wish the dating game was more open and honest, instead of this deceptive Salsa-dance thing that so many people go for, playing hard to get, deliberately provoking jealousy just to get a response, etc. If somebody wants to test my commitment or courage, I don't see why they can't just tell me that's what they're doing....otherwise all they're going to discover is how much I used to want them before they showed how dishonest and uncaring they could be, and how much they've destroyed by being so underhand.

As for marriage, I think it's a nice way for a couple to tell the world that they're committed to each other. It gives a little bit of protection from would-be predators, even though the law these days won't back you up, apart from selling you a divorce if you should want one. But I don't think it's necesssary.......if a couple care about each other properly, ceremonies and bits of paper don't really make any difference. And there's some financial danger for the man if the courts get involved with the division of the assets, unless you get a pre-nuptual agreement to counter the assumption that each party should have 50% of the total goodies. On the plus side, if one of you dies, the surviving spouse is likely to get pension rights, while the unmarried live-in partner probably won't.



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25 Feb 2011, 6:19 am

Non_Passerine wrote:
I do. (no pun intended) Then we wouldn't have to worry about all of this.

Although marriages extrapolate to family relationships. (parents and kids, grandkids, cousins, etc)


I got nothing against relationships, but I don't see why marriage exists and I reckon we could do without it.



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25 Feb 2011, 9:06 am

Dating and marriage are good. I just wish indiscriminate sex didn't exist. People just use each other like giant dildos. Dating and marriage are a choice. To wish they didn't exist is like wishing that bowling allies didn't exist, or that Starbucks didn't exist. A person doesn't HAVE to go bowling or drink coffee.



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25 Feb 2011, 10:29 am

RightGalaxy wrote:
Dating and marriage are good. I just wish indiscriminate sex didn't exist. People just use each other like giant dildos.

My thoughts exactly. I personally dont see a reason to go through any of the 3 choices in here (dating, marriage, random screwing around) but except for the last one the others can make sense for others to do.



Volodja
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25 Feb 2011, 11:40 am

How is indiscriminate sex not equal to the others if that is what the person wants?

Personally I am not interested in sleeping around, but if other people want to, what is wrong with that? It makes more sense than for those people to get into a marriage they don't want



ToughDiamond
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25 Feb 2011, 11:50 am

Volodja wrote:
How is indiscriminate sex not equal to the others if that is what the person wants?

Personally I am not interested in sleeping around, but if other people want to, what is wrong with that? It makes more sense than for those people to get into a marriage they don't want

I agree......one-night stands wouldn't work for me at all, and it's very hard for me to understand why they'd work for anybody (if the sex was good, why not repeat the exercise....if it was bad, why did you bother?). But if people want to go that way, it's their choice, and it might work for them.