My experiences of the search

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ok here goes, i think i have Asperger's and these are a few of the problems i have encountered while looking for love. first off all I am a good looking man with good dress sense but both of these things dont mean anything.

1) women NT'S seem to be more intrested in a mans attitude, I have noticed that women seem to find it difficult to show intrest in good looking men, I seem to be hard to approach for some reason and its quite painfull when im not noticed. Mind you when they do look I carnt look into there eyes for long anyway arrggghh.

2) Male NT's seem to be very pushy and arnt affraid of rejection, there personality's seem very boring to and they talk about really terrorable crap like cars, sports, how strong they are, shallow stuff, how much they earn. Its sad they have nothing intresting to say and they r very uncreative.

3) I go out to nightclubs by myself which is a nerve racking experience, I go to dance really and can dance really well and this alone has helped me to flirt and develop some good times with the ladys. But unfortuntly most men carnt dance and them sort seem to get more attention in the long run i think women also fear me because im too much for them to handle and expect me to make the first move or something which ive got a mental block about.

4) Competition seems to be a problem for me, I am more artistic than verbal and even though i have good literacy i carnt argue in the heat of a arguement and dont like confrontation. In chat rooms I get people trying to humilate me and wind me up so that they can win the target lady. I walk away from battle and lose the lady. Lifes still feels like a battle ground for romantic pursuit.

5) Women will befriend me rather than want any kind of relationship with me, I show them so much respect and they think im just a good friend, the bad rebel guy wins again.

6) I live in a working class area but feel i can identify with professional people, i dont work i carnt get work and am on benifits and welfair if ur american. I dont fit into my society and live happily without a flash car, and enjoy not having all the sad things that make a man more attractive to women

7) I often develop strong feelings with women and suffer from the love at first sight thing. At times all i can think about is the person i like and my imagination can visualise all kinds of romantic video sequences. It scares them away and they think im a creep for that

The modern world seems to be increasingly becoming more and more intrested in materialsim and status and women seem to want men who fit the status requirements. I live in the united kingdom and this country is terribly repressed from expression and effection

My only tip is to drink when socialising it helps take away the fears and anxiety's. the above information is my own personal experiences and I am not saying any of the above apply's to all people with Asperger's

Thanks a lot for describing your experiences. I'm about to leave my comfort zone to un unfamiliar type of social event, and reading that somehow comforts me.

edit: I'll see if I can think of anything that might be helpful to you

I'm a 26 year-old woman and I can tell you that it isn't the materialistic thing that gets the girls. I have had relationshops with artistic guys who have been pretty much broke (the starving artist types) and I'll be the first to tell you that it isn't their lack of money that caused the relationships not to work...it ended up being because I decided I didn't really like them that much anymore or we just drifted apart. I've always liked the artistic type myself. As long as they're not asking me for money, or to pay for everything, or to house them, we get along just fine. I'll pay about 50-75% of the time, but we do cheap stuff. There's a difference between being broke and on your own and being broke and dependant on everyone you meet. People don't like a bum.

I can also tell you that there are quite a few women that like the mysterious, artistic guy and it sounds like that type is fairly easy for you to emulate. Focus on what your art is...dancing at clubs, music, food, visual arts, whatever. Women will love your art and if you are passionate about your art, you will find some pretty neat women that will be passionate about you.

As an Aspie in a professional environment, I've just recently began to realize that although I think I can relate to young professionals, I've decided that they are just no fun to party with. I don't like them. They are way too fake and I'd rather not spend any time outside of work with them anymore. It's just undue stress for me to try to keep up. I'm trying to have fun, I don't need that! Artsy people are way more awesome and have more fun. So hang out with the artsy weirdos. They are way cooler.

Yup. Seek out the cool nerds and the quirky jerks.

thanks for all ur replys lol i like it, the whuss one was a good laugh i think about that m8 thanks all