talking to a brick wall

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Yes! Thats right i have a girlfreind and she is on the spectrum apparently has mild hfa high functioning autism. she comes from a very lazy background, in other words shes a slob. Her mother could not give a rats about her. Any way it,s an effort just to get her to do anything! I practicaly have to scream at her just to get her tio pick up something off the floor or take a dish to the sink! And thats not right! I thinks she has a mentality of a pre-teen reminds me of an earlier version of my self!! here is a little back ground she fell on her head as an infant had some sort of infection as an infant. So i am about to give up and move on

Honestly, I think you should. If she's not mature enough to be in a relationship, she really shouldn't be in one.

How much do you love eachother?

ok, fair enough
I do love her, she is all over me to the point I lose my sanity (she is way too clingy)
She wont stop kissing me too MUCH affection.

If you can talk about her in such a way, you don't love her.

I do love her.

I dont literaly scream at her. I just lightly let her know she is doing the wrong thing.
and when she isn't around i get sick

She sounds like my type. Have you tried sitting her down and telling her that you need to talk seriously?

I knew it i'm hopless with women

While I'm sure you have an incredible affection for her and have been acting lovingly toward her, your post does provide the insight to an outsider that you're not happy. She's too clingy, too immature and the relationship does not feel like a partnership to you. Instead, you feel like you're parenting your girlfriend. If this was a relationship dynamic that you wanted, I am sure you would not feel discontent enough to ask for advice on how to get her to change. Unfortunately, she's not going to change. You may be better suited with a woman who can be an equal partner in a relationship. She may be better suited with a man who is naturally able to control her life for her.

Maybe she is lazy, but maybe there is something else up with her. It might be chronic fatigue, depression, or fibromyalgia, or something else. I had an ex who had similar habits. She started therapy and working with a chiropractor and she quickly found herself having much more energy. It might not be bad for you to be a bit supportive here.

And don't portray her as evil. You're likely to get much sympathy.

So true.
A little support goes a long way.

I think you are probably mostly venting some frustrations and that you actually would like for this relationship to work out. From my experience people on the spectrum can be extremely sensitive to criticism. It seems to have the effect of making them feel hopeless that they can improve on things that they actually would like to improve on. It can also make them become defensive.

Motivating someone through praise for things done well seems to be more effective then negative feedback for things you are displeased with. I think that helping someone improve their sense of self confidence makes them feel more capable.

This will all take some patience, and that is not always easy. But if you do truly love this person, then it will be worth it. Relationships are never easy, the solution is not always to give up on the person and just move on. I guarantee that the next person you are with, will not be perfect and there will be some amount of conflict as well.

I'm a total slob. Mess just doesn't bother me; I'll get round to it when it builds up too much or I've run out of plates. As for the clothes, well I'll hang them up if they're for work but otherwise, they sit in a basket or more likely, in a heap on the floor. I throw out anything that is a health hazard (i.e. no rotting food), shower and don't wear dirty clothes, and if I have people over I'll do a tornado-style clean but otherwise I really don't get the big deal.

It obviously bothers you though, and I'm sure you're not the only person like that, but the way you're describing your girlfriend sounds pretty mean. Sans bad mum and infection, it could easily be my own boyfriend describing me and I wouldn't like he wrote that post.

I'm not saying just shut-up or leave; relationships are a compromise and you've as much right to a clean house as she has to a messy one (you live together, right?) regardless of AS/excuses. But the way you write, it seems like you've stopped respecting her and have given up ("about to leave and move on") so why bother posting here about it?

Agreed.

I also agree with whoever said that you should check into things like chronic fatigue and other physical problems, if you are going to stay together.

It's one thing to be a slob, but it's another thing to be a slob and ignore people when they ask you to clean up after yourself...unless they are hypocrites and don't clean up after themselves, or are overly controlling and try to micromanage everything.

For example, if she leaves a few things out during the course of the day, that are non-perishable, that's fine, as long as they get put away before she goes to bed.

If her personal space is cluttered, that should be fine too, as long as it doesn't pose a danger to others. My roommate, who has a bit of a hoarding problem, can cram as much pointless junk in his room as he wants as long as he isn't taking over the common closet space and he isn't causing a fire hazard.

I'm not the neatest person in the world but I do military style cleanings every few weeks.

So how much of a slob is she really?

Yes exactly!

Have a serious talk. Explain to her a few of the problems and give her some time to correct it. Communication is the only remedy for any relationship's problems, not just HFA cases.

That's assuming you want to be with her. If you don't, then don't.