Stood up for myself against the game players!
This marks a triumph and a defeat simultaneously. I managed to break my rut, going on five dates with one woman! I'd never made it past three. Things were going great, I was seeing her every weekend and then all of a sudden...silence. She quits responding to my messages four days ago. Nothing. She must've had a change of heart.
The one thing I cannot abide is lack of communication. It is utterly cowardly to simply be silent. All deserve honesty. I would've understood if she had a change of heart or found someone else. I was at least owed that much...not just rude silence.
So I sent her a final message saying that I was disappointed in her silence, and expected better, expected the courtesy at least of a goodbye. Of course the coward hasn't even responded to that.
To hell with her. To hell with all liars and people who think the best way to let someone off is to give the silent treatment. It's her loss, and now I move on, and keep looking for someone who will won't play games and who will be respectful of others. Frankly I can tell I dodged a bullet...no way I would want to waste another minute with someone like her. Rotten!
The one thing I cannot abide is lack of communication. It is utterly cowardly to simply be silent. All deserve honesty. I would've understood if she had a change of heart or found someone else. I was at least owed that much...not just rude silence.
So I sent her a final message saying that I was disappointed in her silence, and expected better, expected the courtesy at least of a goodbye. Of course the coward hasn't even responded to that.
To hell with her. To hell with all liars and people who think the best way to let someone off is to give the silent treatment. It's her loss, and now I move on, and keep looking for someone who will won't play games and who will be respectful of others. Frankly I can tell I dodged a bullet...no way I would want to waste another minute with someone like her. Rotten!
Four days. Four. Days. Bit soon to freak out and leave angry, over-entitled messages for her, non? It's within the realm of possibility that she got the flu or was swamped at work and fully intended to call you back. That nothing was actually wrong -- til you inadvertently wrecked it.
The level of anger / outrage you have for a girl you barely knew (had you discussed dating exclusive? Had she agreed to it?), who from the sounds of it wasn't even officially your girlfriend is honestly a bit scary -- and leaps right off the page.
How exactly did this girl lie? What, exactly, were you hoping to accomplish by sending her a 1950s-dad-like message berating her for the "crime" of failing to return your call in a timely manner?!
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,030
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
I think the OP is probably right. I always let guys go when they never contact me in any way (even just to say "sorry, too busy, will talk later) for 3 days or longer. In my experience the people who stop contact without any explanation will either:
1. never contact me again, or
2. contact me again weeks or months later to try to pick up where they left off.
Also, in my own experience, people will continue to do whatever they've done before. If they get too busy to even send the shortest message one time, they will continue to do it again and again. Let me put it this way: people have the right to go silent and stop responding to me, and I have the right to no longer be involved with them.
Am I the only none rude person on the planet? i had the flu, i went to work day one, i still called in sick other days, ..
you saying that you can call and talk to someone but can't send a message to another saying you are sick. most people aren't in some comma with the flu, they lay in bed play games, watch tv, surf the net etc.
MollyTroubletail
so true. I was talking to one girl and tried to talk about similar interest, you know trying to bond isnt that the point of dating? anyways shes not replied for a week now. I don't see her ever replying. like the other 500+ girls. they just drop communication and move on to the next better guy.
so guys do this too?
I strongly doubt that. Sadly, fading is the preferred way of rejecting people these days. It's no loss if it wasn't a fade anyway though. Who wants to date someone who's going to disappear for days without saying anything?
QFT.
The one thing I cannot abide is lack of communication. It is utterly cowardly to simply be silent. All deserve honesty. I would've understood if she had a change of heart or found someone else. I was at least owed that much...not just rude silence.
So I sent her a final message saying that I was disappointed in her silence, and expected better, expected the courtesy at least of a goodbye. Of course the coward hasn't even responded to that.
To hell with her. To hell with all liars and people who think the best way to let someone off is to give the silent treatment. It's her loss, and now I move on, and keep looking for someone who will won't play games and who will be respectful of others. Frankly I can tell I dodged a bullet...no way I would want to waste another minute with someone like her. Rotten!
Four days. Four. Days. Bit soon to freak out and leave angry, over-entitled messages for her, non? It's within the realm of possibility that she got the flu or was swamped at work and fully intended to call you back. That nothing was actually wrong -- til you inadvertently wrecked it.
The level of anger / outrage you have for a girl you barely knew (had you discussed dating exclusive? Had she agreed to it?), who from the sounds of it wasn't even officially your girlfriend is honestly a bit scary -- and leaps right off the page.
How exactly did this girl lie? What, exactly, were you hoping to accomplish by sending her a 1950s-dad-like message berating her for the "crime" of failing to return your call in a timely manner?!
She didn't lie to him, she ghosted him. And if she was swamped at work, or ill, but still interested she would've called him or txtd him back. So no, he did not "inadvertently wreck" things whatsoever. There was nothing there to begin with. She wasn't interested in dating him any longer which is her right.
He did the right thing by telling her piss off which helps bring closure. It would be courteous to send him a polite rejection/goodbye txt but decency and discipline has gone by the wayside in today's society where people are pretty much utility maximizers. At least he's not butthurt about it!
The_Face_of_Boo
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Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,030
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
androbot01
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Joined: 17 Sep 2014
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,746
Location: Kingston, Ontario, Canada
It would make absolutely no difference.
androbot01
Veteran
Joined: 17 Sep 2014
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,746
Location: Kingston, Ontario, Canada
It would make absolutely no difference.
How do you know that, though?
It would make absolutely no difference.
How do you know that, though?
If someone ignores you for four days, chances are very good that they are not interested.
It depends. If you had regular contact like in this case, it probably means she has lost interest. However, in other contexts, not having contact for months might not mean anything at all.
brian, sounds like you need someone who is blunt. I am the same way. other people see being honest as being rude. they prefer to communicate indirectly by dropping hints. I agree with you. she wasn't a good match. I also know how infuriating it is to be ignored and not know why. Maybe it is an aspie thing, but I need clear communication, not hints.
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