confused....

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Hi all,

I'm a 22 year old female aspie from australia. just want your advice on something, which has been bothering me lately.

well basically, there's this guy who i keep seeing around. shopping centre, bus, etc. i'm interested in him, but being an aspie, obviously i don't know how to approach him.

i have noticed that he does watch me. i'm not sure if this means he's interested or not. i think he'd be about 20. i'm also nearly 100% positive that he's on the spectrum as well. probably aspergers. i get this impression just from the way he acts.

probably the last 2 weeks or so, i've noticed he catches the bus from a different stop. if i see him in the shopping centre, he avoids me and starts rocking and doing stuff like that. if i sit near him on the bus, he starts stamping his feet, but i notice he keeps looking at me.
what does this mean? is he attracted to me or not? should i just say hi and keep walking? what do you think i should do? any guys on the spectrum who avoid someone they like?
i've seen him go up to other girls and try and talk to them, so clearly he doesn't have a problem with talking to girls. just me for some reason.

do you think maybe he just plain hates me for some reason???

any advice would be great.

It sounds like he might also be nervous. Maybe he wants to talk to you because he thinks you seem interesting or is attracted to you, but he doesn't know how to approach you, so then he just stares and acts anxious. Going up to him and saying hi doesn't sound like a bad idea.

The opposite could be true. Many aspies have trust/paranoia issues, maybe he's upset or nervous and thinks you're following him.

There are basically two possibilities. One is that he likes you and he's so nervous when he's around you that he's staying away just to avoid the distraction. He may have picked up on your looking at him and not known what to do about it. Unless he's a complete idiot, the thought will have occurred that a girl is staring at him because she's attracted to him.

That's a nice thought, but there's also the possibility that what this guy has is not AS, but actually some kind of paranoia or schizophrenia, which has symptoms that can look like AS superficially, especially when one is doing the sort of wishful thinking one does when attracted to someone.

You need to figure out which it is. The only way to do that is to just talk to him. If he's attracted to you and nervous, he may blush or stumble over his words, or fidget nervously, or start rocking, etc. If he's paranoid, he'll probably be very calm and give curt, short replies which are supposed to make you go away or ask questions about why you're watching him or what you're doing following him, depending on how severe his paranoia might be. If he does that, it probably IS best you avoid the guy.

Or his behavior has absolutely nothing to do with you.

Or he barely even notices you.

Or he has no feelings for you, but is also unaware of your interest.

The only way you'll know is by making contact. So go get 'em!