Looks like I'm probably going to be single tomorrow.

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Ikonovich
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27 Feb 2011, 7:38 pm

Apparently my girlfriend has been trying to communicate for months that she's unhappy about some of the things I do, and, of course, I didn't catch a word because she wasn't straightforward (Well, to her she was, which is part of the problem).

Now it's basically at the point where I'm 95% sure that the next time I see her I'll be getting 'This just isn't working...'


God this sucks.



flamemasterelan
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27 Feb 2011, 8:01 pm

I reccomend, if you're absolutely sure, that you launch a preemptive strike and tell HER it isn't working. The benefit to this is that if you're both in agreement, you can just sever the romantic ties and hopefully remain friends. And if she's taken aback by the statement, or wasn't going to break up with you, you at least get to talk about the issues in the relationship. Which, yeah, I know, not easy.

Just my two cents, though.



Wombat
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27 Feb 2011, 8:46 pm

flamemasterelan wrote:
I reccomend, if you're absolutely sure, that you launch a preemptive strike and tell HER it isn't working. The benefit to this is that if you're both in agreement, you can just sever the romantic ties and hopefully remain friends. And if she's taken aback by the statement, or wasn't going to break up with you, you at least get to talk about the issues in the relationship. Which, yeah, I know, not easy.


Yes! Way to go, man!
If you dump her first you will hurt her pride and she will probably fight to hang onto you.



Bethie
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27 Feb 2011, 8:49 pm

Wombat wrote:

Yes! Way to go, man!
If you dump her first you will hurt her pride and she will probably fight to hang onto you.


If I was about to dump someone, and they beat me to the punch, why would I beg them to stay?

:?


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flamemasterelan
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27 Feb 2011, 8:50 pm

Wombat wrote:
flamemasterelan wrote:
I reccomend, if you're absolutely sure, that you launch a preemptive strike and tell HER it isn't working. The benefit to this is that if you're both in agreement, you can just sever the romantic ties and hopefully remain friends. And if she's taken aback by the statement, or wasn't going to break up with you, you at least get to talk about the issues in the relationship. Which, yeah, I know, not easy.


Yes! Way to go, man!
If you dump her first you will hurt her pride and she will probably fight to hang onto you.

Or, that, too.



glenna74
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27 Feb 2011, 10:44 pm

Dude, that sucks.



Ikonovich
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27 Feb 2011, 11:08 pm

It's pretty fail. I've talked to her about it quite a bit today and the gist of it is that she claims to love me but just doesn't feel like being in a relationship with me. Sounds pretty absurd to me. Why can't people ever just be straightforward?



Lene
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27 Feb 2011, 11:14 pm

It sounds like she has been pretty straightforward. Sometimes you can love someone for who they are, but you can't be in a relationship with them because who you are and who they are clash.

I'm sorry it hasn't worked out. Have you asked if there is a chance you can work on things?



flamemasterelan
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27 Feb 2011, 11:18 pm

Ikonovich wrote:
It's pretty fail. I've talked to her about it quite a bit today and the gist of it is that she claims to love me but just doesn't feel like being in a relationship with me. Sounds pretty absurd to me. Why can't people ever just be straightforward?

She kind of is, man. She loves you, the relationship is just too much for her.

It's kind of like cigarettes. I love the hell out of a menthol cigarette, but that doesn't mean it's good for me. The relationship just isn't good for her and, chances are, down the road? It probably won't be good for you, either. So, just be friends if you can. Hardest thing in the world sometimes, I know. Maybe, one day, you two will both be in a place where the relationship will be good for both of you. Maybe not. Maybe you'll meet someone who compliments you better.



superboyian
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27 Feb 2011, 11:49 pm

You know when two personalities in a relationship clash, it would be sometimes very difficult to work something out but if it doesn't seem to work out, then it would be unfortunate that you both may not be able carry on as a couple but it's never the end of just remaining as friends.

Sometimes it can be difficult to be straightforward when your in a relationship yet having personality clashes.
The other person may find it very difficult to be straightforward as clearly, she doesn't want you to get really hurt in a really bad way and that can be difficult for any couple to express that.

I do apologise that didn't go too well with you though.


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