Confusion never ends

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I've written in detail about this elsewhere, but in short, I met an awesome girl who shared a ton of my interests. We had a great night together, and at the end had a long, magnificent kiss. Then nothing. Halfhearted replies to my attempts to contact her, if she replied at all. Then, she contacts me about hanging out some afternoon for coffee or meeting up to watch some movies (we both enjoy silent comedies). We agree to do it next week (this was a week ago).

So I'm planning to contact her to set up a time, and what do I see on her facebook page? Her status is now changed to "in a relationship."

I know all women aren't like this, and I will continue to search for one who is up front, honest, and not misleading.

But to those who play games, who string along and have nothing better to do than mess around with people who only want a companion to love, and to be loved, I hope they ....

How is she stringing you along?
You had a date, she gave you a kiss goodnight - it didn't work out.

We didn't kiss. We practically made out. And then she wont' respond to me. And then she does, and wants to do coffee, or hang out and watch movies, and now she's listed as in a relationship. I'm sick of being jerked around is all.

What gets me through is dreaming about the day when I'm successful, with money, resources, connections, everything I've devoted my life to attaining. And when I've got all those things, I'm gonna turn around and do to other people EXACTLY what they did to me. I'm gonna string some girl along, and dump her. I'm gonna make HER hurt. I'm gonna pay forward all the rejection and humiliation and loneliness onto someone else. For once, I'll have the power. I will devote my life to money and success and property and power, even if I have to sell my soul, and I will never let another person hurt me again, ever!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!1

I agree that she should have handled that very differently. But don't get too freaked out about it...many people would see it as you had one date and it just didn't work out. Personally, I think people should just say if they don't want to see each other again instead of sounding so wishy-washy but there's a ton of people who don't like confrontation and that's their excuse. They don't see it as hurting anyone.

But don't try to go around doing the same thing to other people that haven't done anything to you. It's illogical and jut rude/mean.

So someday you will go out on a date with a woman, kiss her, be ambivalent about whether you want to get together again and then decide you don't want to. Um, ok. She will be mildly disappointed. Because what you have just described isn't jerking around or being dishonest or any of those other epithets. It's just a very normal and expected part of dating. It's what's supposed to happen as people sort through what they are looking for in a partner.

^^ This.

You should not feel hurt or jealous toward a girl you went out ONCE with. That isn't normal emotional response under these circumstances.

Besides, maybe she was feeling pretty good about your date and that's why she changed her status to "relationship"? Or maybe she changed it to stop some other guy from contacting her?

Stop beating yourself up and just go out with her again. She wants you to! I mean that's great news. It's pretty much exactly what'd you want to hear at this point.

Nope, she's definitely in a relationship now with another guy. She posted the name. Don't know why she asked to hang out right before she went open with this guy. Guess I've been f*****g friend zoned again. Because god forbid I ever be a LOVER. And who's this guy who comes in and sweeps her off her feet? I wish I could give him a black eye.

Dude this is Yoda (me and Jannisy) talking to Luke (you) in the swamp. If you don't want to believe what we are telling you then that's your business.

I don't enjoy belittling guys here. I just don't like seeing clueless young guys stumbling in the dark like this. Always whining, and always rejecting good advice. It is a reoccuring theme here and it's sad. I stopped posting because of this. It seems all my typing is futile and I'm wasting time.

The girl did nothing wrong, and that's just a conclusion we made hearing your side of the story. Who knows maybe things are even more hopeful for you on her side???

This is what dating is like. It's the definition of "dating" you hang out with and experiment with a lot of people before deciding who you want a relationship with. You don't usually pursue just one. If you don't like the way dating is, don't date.

Speed dating: Give a good although rushed impression of the dating process. You talk to 20 women. Not just one.

Hey! That's a GREAT idea for people with little, if any, dating experience. Go out on a speed dating session and talk to like 20 people. Walk away with 2-3 phone numbers and then do a 2nd date with all of them.

That right there is how it's done.

It certainly doesn't hurt for guys who have trouble with it. And like you said, with a numbers game, you re more likely to get phone numbers.

Kissing doesn't necessarily mean you're in a relationship. Obviously it meant more to you than it did to her. Maybe she thought you were hot and couldn't help herself from getting physical even though she really knew that you weren't right for her. Maybe she had just broken up with an ex and they got back together. Maybe she just thinks it's fun to make out as a recreational activity. As for why she didn't respond, does it matter? If you have a date you think went great and ask for another and get no reply, that's a pretty good indicator that she's not interested. The message is pretty clear. Sure, she could have been more upfront and honest and that would have been, IMO, the most courteous thing to do. Still, the message is sent one way or the other. Not responding to an advance is a perfectly acceptable way to say 'i'm not interested', even if it's not always the nicest one. In all seriousness, most people don't know what to say in that situation and don't want to get into having a confrontation or telling someone why they don't measure up to whatever standards they're being held up to. It's just easier to do nothing.

When a girl does this to me, I just take the hint, quit bothering her, and move on to something else. I suppose whatever reason she has is good enough for her. I don't really ask why people do the things they do anymore, I just accept it the way I accept gravity and the weather. That's just how it is and I can't do anything about it

Okay, you made me make my first post lol!

I don't agree at all with you. What that girl did to him is horrible. Just imagining being in his place, I feel very bad. Imagine feeling a strong feeling of interest for someone and you feel like on top of the world and everything seems perfect and it worked out well. Then, you can't contact her, how do you you feel? You feel horrible, you stress all day long, wondering what's wrong, did I do something wrong, did I interpret the night badly? And the reason why it's really horrible is because she let him open up his feelings to her and she made him think that she liked him, its different then just having a bad date or a so-so date. She kissed him, comon! It's horrible to kiss someone you don't really like and then just go away, not responding to his calls and DARE to call him back and ask him to go somewhere as a friend! I can just imagine how horrible it would feel. It's like your feeling got abused, she didn't deserve his love and affection. It's also extremely irrespectful for her to call him back like nothing happened. (even more than not calling back)

Sorry, it had to get off my shoulder. I get I'm really too sensitive. I'm very wary of people abusing me emotionally. I wouldn't want to open up completely with someone until I'm sure that she really is serious about liking me and that she will not just abandon me immediately.

No it isn't even that. She didn't cut contact. Quite the opposite. She was the one to suggest they should hang out again. That's just about as good a result as he could ever hope to get.

Stop relying on a stupid Facebook status. Take her out and talk to her.

She suggested that they should hangout after make him suffer in silence. How could he want to do anything with her now? I personally have a "All or nothing attitude". I don't see why he would be interested to stay in touch with her.

Are you a virgin?