Any advice on how I am feeling

Post Reply New Topic

Hello, I have just found this forum and was wondering if anyone could give me advice on my situation,

Just over a year ago I started to feel something for this girl and we were spending time together and talked about it and she liked me also, we didnt see each other for a month as she had exams and I wanted chance to think about whether we should be together as I had never had a girlfriend before,

then a month later we were together all the time and this was very nice as I had never had someone to be so close to before and with her it felt very natural and unlike anything I had experienced before, another month and we had slept together her being my first time but then previous to all of this we had both chosen to spend our summers differently me going to one country and her to another for most of the time,

Just before all of this she started to borrow money from me as she was having money troubles and I gave in to this after originally saying I didnt want money to be involved as it would make me feel uncomfortable and make me think maybe she only wanted to be with me for money reasons,

I eventually had to pay a lot of money for her to people she owed it to and quite a lot of my friends at that time were opposed to me being with her and made me feel like she didnt really want to be with me which confused me, in the end I kept deciding to end it with her but then getting back with her as she was my first love, I was very confused and then after a few more months of confusion and not being totally sure about her but seeing as id never had a girlfriend before keeping it going,

she never listened to me though if I had a problem with something she did or said I would tell her but she would never listen and the problem whatever it was would occur again and again, eventually as we decided to be together we both moved away together and were living together for a short while which was too much and she worked while I was stuck in the middle of nowhere all day and if I went out she got annoyed as she couldnt, she seemed to spend a lot of her time making me feel guilty for things when I did nothing wrong or trying to make herself out to be the best girlfriend in the world by saying other girlfriends wouldnt do this (which I knew wasnt right)

though I stuck with her as I had always thought my first love would last and it would get better and it was just the siutation, however it never got better and after a while she moved again for work and we got to spend less time together and I just didnt feel like she had cared about me enough even though I had given up a lot by this time to help her in many ways, I decided to end it again and I moved away not long after and have now reflected and cant believe how badly she treated me at times or how manipulative she was, I treated her very well until she got too much for me and I started to tell her exactly what she was like which she knew but hid away so it was hard to listen to,

Anyway, Now I am very lost on the whole subject of relationships and dont know what to think plus I am unhappy about how she can live after being so horrible to me and treating me so badly and manipulatively, I feel very hurt and it wont go away and I have not been able to function much since we broke up about 4 months ago, I am so annoyed that something so perfect in many ways can be so bad in more other ways

"If you want to find the source of any problem, look to Lucre and Lust."
- Sri Ramakrisna
from- http://hsuyun.org/Dharma/zbohy/Home/home-index.html

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I wish I had some advice.

dude it happens to most aspies we get sucked in adn spat out by some she-beatch.

the good thing about being autistci is that your not angry dude , its nice to be austistic we do get abused due to aour naieviety but we avoid getting angry it is what makes us real.

yeah it was a tough lesson but your better of without her.
it happened to me too.
it will happen once we learn.
good luck

Maybe I'm just misinterpreting what you said, but... Are you being serious? I for one am a horrible, horrible b***h and will constantly be arguing with people just for the hell of it.

you can be a b***h but i for one dont get really nagry with peopleand dont chose to argue for the sake of it.
i was trying to demonstrate that this dude got used and is picking himself up and moving on and encouragin him to do so...you want to be a b***h..good for you. you want to argue for the sake of it..thats ok...you be that way.
i think this dude is like me and a nice aspie.

I did think I was nice but this has turned me into a nasty and angry person

rainbow, im sorry my adsvice didnt help, you will be annoyed for a while but you will also move on, i am sorry my advice seesm to have been wrong.

I am actually finding it very hard to move on, part of the reason I had never had a relationship before was because I knew I would struggle if it ended so I thought if I waited for the right girl it would last forever

But this girl did not treat me right and lied to me so much that I am now very confused as to what wasnt lies, I dont seem to be able to drag myself out of this and everything I think or do comes back to her and my annoyance that it didnt work out which in my opinion was her fault as I was the perfect boyfriend to her until she got too much for me

rainbow, i met a girl and i knew she was the one.....but she did take money from me and cheated on me and i was better off without her........you will move on it will take time, aspies do fall hard and your no different.
she used you man and you still ove her, sounds familiar, but aspies can put things out o ftheir mind easily, i can, and i used this to just forget her, i still miss her and i do care for her but i have moved on.
she just wasnt the one

Hi Rainbow,

This may come across as trite, but I really believe that what comes around goes around. Sure, you deserve your anger, but are you really going to give her that kind of power? You know, she wins if it turns you into a nasty and angry person. She is not worth it and chalk it up as a valuable lesson learned. Make peace with it, not everyone is evil. I promise.

SheDevil
(an NT wishing I could convince you she is not worth it)

Hello!

First of all, welcome!

Second of all, I understand how you feel. I think I may have lost quite a few friendships in my life, and it is quite natural for me to do.

I am very sorry!

That's total crap. I get angry or more likely, frustrated, hurt or upset 3x as easily as anyone else I know. I just have to make myself internalise it most of the time, which means it lasts longer and makes me more miserable in the long run.

Which sucks.

But I'm Aspie rather than Autistic...

Apple

yeah you sound angry, i like the guy who posted the original post, he wssnt angry, like me he had met a girl got sucked in and spat out and he wasnt angry he couldnt accept it but he needed to move on, so what i was saying in realtin to the opriginal poster was , in fact , correct, he wasnt angry, you get so angry you cant read and comprehend correctly, aspies are autistic, we are on the spectrum, are you too angry to see this?