A personal first

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I actually have two dates in one weekend. I'm having more success with the online dating thing this go round. It's only been 2 months since I posted my profile on OKCupid. Since then I've joined a couple other dating sites just to put myself out there. I find it somewhat remarkable given that I have so little experience and I'm pretty up front about saying so. I'd like to think that I've gained some wisdom over the years, or it could be a case of simply being old enough that the kind of women I like will find me attractive now, where they wouldn't when I was younger.

I've taken more of a "take it or leave it" approach this time, where I basically don't really push much or go much out of my way to impress a girl or even hide my flaws, but more like this is who I am, you either like it or you don't. My attitude before was more, "please go out with me, I'll be very nice and treat you like a queen", where now my attitude is "you should want to go out with me because I'm interesting, intelligent, and unique, and if you don't, then it's your loss and I'll just move on to someone more open-minded".

exactly. the 'i'll treat you like a princess' mentality isn't what women want.
good for you.

How do you get all that success? If I get a response, it's usually just one (after which she wouldn't respond to any further messages). On the rare occasion that some kind of conversation starts, she usually loses interest after a couple days. That's not nearly enough time for me to decide whether i like her or not.

^ Jesus loves him , that's his secret.

I got some interests of few girls on okcupid, but now the site is really dead for me.

Not surprising, since there's barely 19 Lebanese active girls there LOL : Results.



(active during the last month) and half of them are over 40.

That's great! good luck!

Remember, unless you are extremely lucky, this is just the beginning of a process, don't get discouraged, enjoy the process.

Please let us know how it goes...

Well, these two girls contacted me first, so I can't claim full credit, but at least my profile got noticed. How many messages are you exchanging? By the time you've exchanged emails 2 times besides first contact (that is you sent two decent sized emails and were replied to), you should be thinking about talking in real time with instant messaging or telephone or text. If you wait longer, the girl is probably going to lose interest. Some will lose interest quicker.

Non-aspies are going to be on a much faster pace relationship wise. Everything I've read online suggests that you should meet in person within or around 2 weeks after you contact someone, and no later than a month, distance permitting of course. This came as something of a surprise to me, but the consistency of this information everywhere I looked made me inclined to believe it's what most ladies expect. They also may expect a bit more physical affection earlier than we, as aspies, would prefer. I read many many accounts of women who assume that if they're not getting a kiss on a first date, that the guy isn't attracted to them. I have looked at many many OKCupid profiles and when asked the question "how many dates before you have sex", the women tend to answer 3-5 dates most commonly. There are a few that say "wait till marriage" or "6 or more dates", but 3-5 is the most common answer, at least among the girls that are high match % for me. Overall, I feel that reluctance to initiate some physical affection probably hurt my chances dating in the past.

Einstein once said "the definition of insanity is continuing to do the same thing and expecting different results". If you're not getting the desired results, perhaps you are using an incorrect approach.

No wonder if you are showing your avatar picture.

That's a great attitude to have! That's the perfect amount of confidence without being arrogant.

I met an Aspie recently who had this attitude. We've been on a few dates now and things are going well. I like that he's accepted who he is.