Aspie partner vs. NT parents

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My fiance'e has Asperger's (either typical or atypical), and it affects him in the following areas: He usually talks in a high language, he bores others, he has no timing in conversations, he is unable to filter his words, which means he can't "shut up already" or "keep his stupid thoughts to himself" and is "tactless", he is unware of most social cues and has no non-virtual friends but me and his family, and I'm his obsession: he won't be able to stand a day without talking to me for at least 10 mins.

I'm a "severe" ADHDer with enough Aspie traits to question my ADHD diagnosis( I officially and completely don't understand social cues unless someone bothers to tell me, I'm working on my tact: I don't get myself in trouble, but I unintentionally make other people fight because for some reason I wasn't supposed to say Z to Y unless I want to be a total b***h and make X hare her, I don't feel pain while hitting others(I'm short tempered, so I do that alot off meds)(I still hates this fact)(I made someone's eye bleed for stealing and hiding my schoolbag without feeling pain about his eyes), only guilt and fear of being hit back)(I also am bad at not hurting others unintentionally...), and am obsessed with my fiance'e and a game called Tropico 3, but I've never been obsession-free since I was able to talk(by the way, a little later than most kids, but still in the norm)), and view his "disadvantages" as advantages. I love him for being true and loving, and am bad at many things he is bad at socially.

My mom thinks she knows how to tell everything: she once stated some nice adult guy we talked to on an airport has Asperger's, just because he was unsuccessfully trying to be nice to others and make friends; she thinks the previous maid's daughter is mentally ret*d because she was unable to pronounce my baby sister's name (Advva, she called her "Davaw") and played with a 3 year old better than kids her age (5).

I'm sick of my mom whining about him having needs, and special needs (spending time with me is special needs, according to her), and I feel like I'm being pulled at the same time toward opposite directions. I feel like she's trying to cause me to dump him. She has no idea about our plans toward marrige.

marriage at 16? be careful.

If you are still 16, I hope that at least your marriage date is a few years in the future. People shouldn't rush into marriage when they are young because your brain isn't done developing and wants and needs change quickly during those years. I would wait until you are at least 21, and honestly, 23 would probably be better.

If you find yourself thinking "But I love him and I can't wait that long!! !!" then that's a good sign you aren't ready to marry.

You didn't really articulate the AS partner vs. NT parents part. You just articulated that your mother likes to armchair diagnose people and thinks she can "tell" someone with AS based on a brief social encounter.

1. We'll get married in 2 years.
2.

Well as another 16 year old i guess i can say your decisions are your own and yours only i have trouble making decisions for fear of upsetting other's but in the if your not happy with the decision you made then whats the point in going ahead with it if marriage is your plan then if it feels right then go ahead BUT i must ask if his constant need to talk to you will eventually make you drift away from him

If what i said helped then im glad because im bad at giving advice somtimes But i'll help you if you ever need anyone to talk to

It won't, but it'll make me be more upset with my over-protective parents.

When you try to explain your feelings about him do they listen to you? or do they just shrug you off and say "this is whats best for you"?

Well, I just can't explain my emotions. Others think I do, but I don't even get to say half of what i feel. I don't know how to even get this subject out of the "under the mat" dust.

Marriage that obscenely young? You're throwing your life away!

The whole institution of marriage needs to be wiped from the face of the earth permanently. No two people need a stupid piece of paper saying they're together. And at that young, you're throwing your life away! How can any society ever accept this outdated institution?

One of my brothers got married at 18, he is in his 40's now and still married

But why would anyone ever marry that young? They've got their whole goddamn lives ahead of them!

Am I the only person who sees how stupid it is to marry that young? (Or ever, for that matter?)

in my brothers case i can only assume that it was because they where in love


i can see your point on getting married young (i don't necessarily agree with it but i see it), but why would be getting married at a reasonable age be a problem?

Maybe you sometimes get success.. but most people who rush into marriage at 16 regret it.

I look at the people I "liked" at that age.. (even at 18 and 22!) and think YUCK WHAT WAS I THINKING?

As for this thread.. does he actually love you or just obsessed with you? Because people move on from obsessions you know. Personally I would be treating my 16 year old daughter (If I had one) the same way if this was what was going on.

And the kids? Kids need security. It's not so secure with a loose bond between the parents.

Why is it stupid to et married at a young age? If we won't be happy we'll have a divorce. Since I can't see how can things go wrong without both of us doing everything we can to solve them I want to get married in my age.
I have my life ahead of me for other things. Marrige means living in the same house and getting less taxes from the goverment as a married couple compared to two single individuals. It does not neccesarily mean getting pregnat, giving up college and work and raising 10 kids.



What kind of people were you atrracted to at that age? I love odd, intelligent, caring guys. Most married couples in my age in developed countries are different. And my mom has no idea about the engagement.



True, although it's no longer only about kids in the post-modern family.