and the cool kids would say "oh snap!"

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There's a girl I liked who was avoiding me. Shortly after she stopped reciprocating, I decided to leave her alone. Anyway, I just noticed her friend's blog where she (the girl I liked) left a comment refering to me as "a freak who's never been socialised".

OH SNAP!

Thats tough!

She sounds like she has got a bad personality.
I hope you can stop liking her.

Why do we always like the wrong people. Sigh

Hmm...this is a tricky situation, no? I can see quite a few possibilities from here. You're going to have to play this one by ear.

Talk to her in person, and let her know you know what she's been saying about you. Depending on whether the conversation turns friendly or ugly, either apologize for any misperceptions she has of you "I'm no freak. I'm just awkward around girls I like. Care to help me out?" or if she isn't going along with you, then is the time to get her out of your life. "You know, it isn't wise to talk about a freak behind his back. I would take your comments down if I were you, if you know what's good for you." Hopefully, this second option will not have to happen.

Er, I wouldn't take that second option unless you feel like getting arrested or kicked in the balls.

Oh, and http://ohsnap.ytmnd.com/ .

"I originally meant I was going to sue you for libel but if that's the way you want to play it...fistfight!"

Normally I'm never depressed, but on saturday I woke up with a bad dream and moped for the rest of the day. Since then I've been happy during the day, while I'm out and doing stuff, and then miserable at night time. Strangely this is the first night since Saturday that I haven't been depressed (at the time of posting this I had just read the comment - the point was it didnt seem to effect me).

It makes no sense whatsoever, but I'm not complaining.

Until now I've only ever seen her be lovely. I still think she's a good person, but I can't stand it when people don't have at least some appreciation of those who respect them.

Last edited by ooh_choc on 11 Jul 2006, 6:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

As I said, if you know it's her whose calling you a freak, speak with her. Smile, be friendly. "Hi there. Anti-social freak at your service. Nah, just kidding. About that blog comment..."

"...and I'm no freak, I simply like you. And I can be an idiot because of this; you twist my tongue."

Do you know her as more than a pretty face (and other parts but this isn't the Mature Asperger's section)? Do you know any of her interests? Don't blurt you know her interests, as this will only confirm you as a freak in her eyes, but maybe if the conversation is going well, ask "do you like to ____?" "Yes, how'd you know?" "I didn't. I like to do so as well; care to hang out sometime?"

Of course, if she's continually bitchy no matter how sincere you are, tell her "sorry we couldn't work things out. Please take down those comments as soon as possible though, for they're harmful to my reputation." If she ignores you or (heaven forbids) posts more about you having an insecurity complex, now is the time to sue her for libel. You may not have the girl, but have the dough.

I do NOT recommend doing that. She KNOWS the comments are harmful to your reputation; that's why she posted them. So telling her that only boosts her sense of satisfaction of hurting you. She sounds like a horrible person, so don't show any weakness.

This is similar to the "war on terrorism" where the parties involved are the Western civilization and the terrorists. From the West's point of view, showing weakness means being liberal and asking the enemy to do the same. From the terrorists' point of view, showing weakness means opening yourself to more attacks. See the similarity?

Like I say, this depends. More likely than not, she's probably scared by him as she doesn't know about AS and thinks he's some sort of weirdo out to get her. I know there've been quite a few gals that thought that of me. Of course, if she still is a b***h, even after you ask her to take it down; tell her "I asked you nice once, I won't do so again. Take down those comments or I will have to resort to more drastic measures. I still like you somewhat so I won't kill you, but keep that smug atttitude up and I won't be afraid to sue you for libel."

NT's can show a lovely attitude in puplic - "other people must have a good impression of me". In private their real personallity comes out.

A more peacefull option is to completely ignore her, this can work wonders if she has a big enough ego. She'll come to you! Wondering why you are not observing her anymore.

And if you do talk to her do so one on one, not with her friends standing around giggling and whispering.

I still think you should try to forget her, but I know this is easier said that done.

Be simple. Be blunt. Just tell her matter-of-factly that you're no longer interested in her and would appreciate it if she didn't gossip about you. Then say you have to go and walk away. If you're assertive but not exaggerated, you should put any slander she may make to rest if she has any sense of decency. It makes you look mature and level headed (which will make you seem less freaky to others, by the way). A good reputation makes it easier to meet new women.

Thanks for all the support guys, but there's a bit of a misunderstanding. I had already stopped trying to make things "happen" between us.

I'm at uni, not school, so what she is saying has no effect on my reputation outside her group of friends.

Yes. Up to now (I'm now unsure) I thought of her as a lovely person.
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what I did:
I sent her a message over the blogging service quoting what she said. I explained that I most likely have aspergers, and seeming like a freak is something I can't always help. Finally, I said I'll never bother her ever again.

She replied calling herself a horrible person and telling me not to take to heart what she said. Her comments on the blog were edited out to say "I'm such a b***h".

Now I feel guilty What she wrote wasn't meant for my eyes, although she did know I had access to the service.

It also bothers me that all this is happening over a computer. Even though I'm not pressed to be spontaneous over the net, and I can take my time to analyse people, I still think it lacks essential qualities of real life.

Well, we've established that she isn't out to get you.

"You're not an evil person so don't worry; there's no permanent harm done. I know asking you out would be really awkward now but care to have a conversation sometime?"

Meh...that probably sounds awkward. I still have a similar situation, only this girl told me about a year ago to get out of her life and I am worried she's saying bad stuff about me behind my back as well. This bodes ill for me.

Thanks for the quote mike, but I really am not going for her anymore. I had already stopped before reading the comment.

For one thing, I've been preaching the words "Oh snap!" since 1996, way after it was cool first, and waaay before it was cool again. Plus I'm white. And uncool.

Do it the GNAA way: crapflood her blog and show who's boss!