How to get an NT boyfriend to understand sleeping issues.

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May as well go under 'Love and Dating' as this is the number one cause of arguments with my boyfriend and I, possibly one that will cost the relationship if I can't get him to understand. I may have posted something similar to this, but I honestly can't remember.

I have sleeping issues - boyfriend doesn't understand sleeping issues, he gets mad at me for them. I apparently stop him sleeping, not sure how - he can sleep here, he can sleep at home, he even falls asleep on the sofa here rather than going to bed - doesn't seem to occur to him that I don't sleep either, that he wakes me up or stops me sleeping, yet I'm still the one being unreasonable.

I've always had sleeping problems. I have abnormal sleeping patterns - the more stressed I am the later I sleep, right now I go to sleep at 6am if at all - I can try to re-set my body clock for the boyfriends benefit, but it never works and he doesn't appreciate it. I'm of the opinion that my body simply cannot tell me when I should be going to bed, I lack the ability to go 'Right, it's bed time'. I can either get hyper-focused on what I'm doing so I lose track of time or have to re-edit something I'm not happy with, or on the other side of things I'll sometimes just play the same games I'm sick of or refresh the same pages, bored out of my mind but without structure it's hard to set aside a specific time for sleep, I just can't get myself to go to bed. I could go to bed with him...but he goes without me.

There are other factors, I am now on medication that helps me deal with the brain chatter so when I do get into bed I do sleep...as long as the restless leg syndrome doesn't start up, this sometimes makes going to bed torture. When I don't go to bed with him he gets mad and I end up having to go without sleep all together because I'm scared to go to bed knowing he'll be mad at me - once it gets past a certain time I can't go to bed at all. When I do go to bed with him he'll keep me awake with cuddling or wake me up with cuddling. The more often I don't get sleep the worse it gets as it's not just lack of sleep and poor sleep patterns, it also means my daily routines are off or I'm rushed off my feet getting things ready for him coming over (he's here at least every other night) and so I get little time to myself.

The boyfriend is understanding most of the time, but this one thing is just such a major issue and I can't get him to understand that it's not something I can help, I've tried to change it with no success, but he doesn't even try to understand let alone try to help. He makes it all about him, his low self-esteem makes him assume I don't want to go to bed with him or want to stay up talking to people online (who I'm supposed to be talking to I don't know), he doesn't seem to realise that I feel terrible most of the time.

Edit. He's also been nice enough to post on Yahoo! Answer's a rant about how unreasonable I'm being, so I have a lovely reminder of how horrible a person I am for suffering sleeping problems and for being unemployed...going by people's replies to him seemingly being unemployed means I should be his slave and have no time to myself.

Have you tried setting your cellphone, alarm clock or computer to remind you of going to bed? If thinking that it has to be forever is overwhelming, how about trying it out for one week or month? I have my cellphone alert me one hour before bedtime to take the sleeping pill, and vueMinder Calendar alerts me 15 minutes before to start the rituals.

I have severe problems with my schedule where i go through the whole 24 hr clock in terms of the time i go to bed. So i end up going to bed at 6am and then later and later until i'm going to bed at 6pm and then i got through the whole cycle again. Whats this drug that you take that helps you? I think the issue for me is actually shutting things off and wanting to go to bed in the first place. Or that i have to be absolutely exhausted before i give up and go.

I have a Yahoo Answers account-
link me and I'd be happy to talk some sense into him with an answer.
I won't mention you sent me.

That's so immature of him to post such a rant. If his self esteem is that low maybe get him a blow-up doll as a placeholder until your ready for bed. I know couples that only see each other so many hours because they both work odd shifts to make a living. Your unemployed but he isn't actually "supporting you" so you don't need to defend yourself. I don't remember sleep patterns ever being an issue. Lying, cheating, abuse but not so much sleep issues.