Anyone else decided to put off going for a relationship?

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Personally, I'd rather make friends and acquaintances now. Dealing with sexual or romantic elements is too stressful, and I haven't got the self esteem to try very hard. Maybe I'll make friends, and it'll be easier to pursue romantic interests in the future. Maybe I just won't bother.

Anyone else indifferent to romance at the moment?

Not sure if I ever really tried.It will happen when it happens I guess.No need to force it:-)

This is a future thing for me too. Right now I just want to concentrate on wrapping up the current phase of my career, save some money, not accumulate too much stuff, and get some things fixed. I am unsure I want to stay where I am for the long haul as the winters here do wear on me and produce minor health effects that I don't like.

When I was a teenager, I put off dating because I wanted to get a university degree. I would go back and work on things at the university at the end of bad dates and I found the dating experience quite discouraging. I didn't date at all during graduate school because it was quite stressful and this made my voice control issues worse, and my interest in my research topic was strong enough to put others off. Around the time I graduated I experienced some sort of breakdown when I realized that all that work I put into my project didn't improve my social status at all and that I really have no idea of how to connect expenditure of effort with making good things happen the way they seemed to be happening for others. It became a real sore spot, to the extent that it became difficult to interact pleasantly with others. I'm still recovering from that.

I don't think you should be ever consciously trying to get a gf... trying at all is just trying too hard. Just try and meet people. I think you're making a good decision.

I haven't put it off, just stopped entirely.

I am in a relationship right now and have never felt so sad and lonley in my life... sure there is a good time here and there, but I wonder if the bad far out weighs the good... at least when I am single I have a ton of friends and people who love me and help me out, but in a relationship I feel so lonley and isolated... I think it is my own problem because. I can't trust... my boyfriendfs ex still texts alnosyt every day... finding some new dramma as an excuse... not sure if I am just being anal but I can't take it anymore... I know he dosent want her,but he won't get rid of her inspite of seeing how much it hurts me...I am so sad.... I have felt so alone my entire life, but this might be worse than being alone...

ATM in my life I don't have the resources of either time nor money to enter into a full blown relationship. Between school,work,internship,my second job, and the time I need to contribute to myself in order to stay sane and calm it's just not happening. I do have a few mutual friends with benefits who understand my situation and we just kinda leave it at that. I rarely have time to go out with friends of mine for a night, the fact that my main source of income is a serving(waiter) job means taking a weekend night off literally kills my weekly income. It is kinda funny though that since I have actively stop looking I tend to interest the opposite sex quite a bit more, funny how that works

ATM in my life I don't have the resources of either time nor money to enter into a full blown relationship. Between school,work,internship,my second job, and the time I need to contribute to myself in order to stay sane and calm it's just not happening. I do have a few mutual friends with benefits who understand my situation and we just kinda leave it at that. I rarely have time to go out with friends of mine for a night, the fact that my main source of income is a serving(waiter) job means taking a weekend night off literally kills my weekly income. It is kinda funny though that since I have actively stop looking I tend to interest the opposite sex quite a bit more, funny how that works

I don't think it's a choice I make.

Definitely delaying, trying to make it permanent - but it's a lot harder than I thought it would be at first...

My problem in relationships is I feel someone else is there living my life with me. The closer they are the more they are living the minutes with me. They are in on so many decisions. When to eat, what to do, what to watch, when to go to bed, when to return phone calls, what to eat, have an opinion on my interests, opinion on my look, opinion on the living space...just in everything. I have no idea why that feels good to anyone.

I don't ever look for a relationship but they seem to happen and I feel smothered almost instantly. I don't know why I let it happen and can't figure out how to keep it from feeling this way. I make sure I am transparent, tell the truth about myself and never fails I can't get anyone to believe me that it is for real....don't smother me.

+1

NTs (or at least the ones I end up with) love to smother - I call them "facehuggers".

I have absolutely no need to smother back so it ends up being really lopsided and I end up running for my life.

I need to find an Aspie girl or give the whole thing up - and I'm trying really hard to do the latter...

I don't even know how to get into a relationship anyway, but yeah, you could say I'm putting it off. I would never be prepared for it in a million years, and I actually think I've become asexual, or at least not interested anymore.

Yep, relationships can be very emotionally draining and require alot of time and energy. It's better to accumulate a circle of friends that share similar interests to you and truly discover yourself and what you want in life before getting pidgeonholed in some relationship. Long Term Relationships can be rewarding in some cases but there's a heavy price to pay.

I would say enjoying yourself casually and focusing on yourself is probably the better alternative if you're not open to dating seriously. I've befriended girls before and in some cases, they do become clingy which is annoying when you just want a friendship or something casual but you can still find iwomen out there who are independent and self-sufficient that will be open to having a casual friendship.



Finding someone doesn't usually randomly happen, you usually have to actively pursue it and be persistant and prepared to face rejection. I've had girls approach me before and completely screwed it up in the past because i wasn't that good at reading social cues and hints, I'm a bit better at socialising now though. You need to work and work and work on your social skills and persist until you're good at it. It's an active pursuit, similar to getting a job.

+1

That's what I'm doing, and having a really good time - it would almost be a shame to ruin it with a relationship.

Still, I find myself toying with ideas about "alternative" relationships since a "real" one isn't in the cards, like being a "Sugar Daddy" or hiring a live-in maid (non-sexual). People will hate me for this, but I didn't ask to be an Aspie either - I'm still trying to figure out what I really need from a relationship (besides sex of course) and I'm beginning to think that it really is no more complicated than having someone to talk to...

I dunno whether I've put off looking fora relationship oe just stopped altogether. It's not really a big issue for me now. I'd like a gf and it's incredibly frustrating that I'm always suffering from some kind of unrequited love lol, but I think I've come to terms with the fact that I might live my life on my own (as in single, I'm sure I won't be entirely alone without family) and I'm ok with that if I can be content with other aspects of my life. Right now, I'm hoping that I can.