Awkwardness problem after (seemingly) innocent conversation

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OK here's something that's been going on recently.

First of all, I have 3 strikes against me appearance-wise. I'm short (5'4"), moderately heavy, and I wear glasses. Once you get past that, I'm a great conversationalist...at least that's what I've been told.

Because of my being overweight, I am not actively seeking a relationship right now, as I believe it would be a waste of resources on my part...although I certainly welcome the opportunity, but I won't make the first move right now. For lack of a better description, I'd call it "available upon request."

Anyway, enough background info, here's a breakdown of what is happening:

1. I know a girl around my age (25).
2. Whenever we cross paths, we exchange a word or two.
3. Sooner or later, an opportunity to have a more lengthy conversation (15 minutes?) presents itself.
4. Such interaction goes down without a hitch and we part on good terms. I have no intention of hitting on her.
5. From then on, she seems to think I like her, and either a.) completely avoids me, or b.) will only say hello (she may smile) but will have a clear "not interested" look on her face.
6. Awkwardness sets up permanently and then I can't interact with her effectively, thus destroying our association.

What could I be doing wrong? Is there any way to fix this problem or the affected acquaintences?

I'm probably the last guy who should be commenting about this, but I'd suggest to just ask her directly if you did anything wrong, maybe mention the awkwardness afterward, and if necessary, state that you are not interested in trying to persue a relationship, but to want to retain her as a friend (though this last part may be inappropriate. I don't know how well or how long you have known her)


Also, if the awkwarness stage began a while ago, it may be permanent, making it a bad idea to talk to her directly like this. If that's the case, be very careful with your wording.

I don’t think you should worry about the situations that have already happen. Confronting might make the situation worse. Just say hi causally and move on. But as to why it happened I can only speculate.

Maybe your body language is saying something you don't mean. Be careful of how close you stand or if you look at her a little too much. Another possibility could be you are trying too hard to be nice. Any of these things may make girl think you like her and if it's seems to be out of the blue then it may freak her out.

Next time try to follow her cues keep the conversion short and make sure you are both talking. Don’t stand to close let her determine the space. Be causal and don’t worry about impressing her, just be you and relax. It may help.

Definitely DO NOT CONFRONT them. That will make things worse. My suggestion is to act like you just don't give a sh*t at all. Act the same now as you did before the conversation. She has the problem, not you.

Without observing the interaction I cant tell you specificaly what might be going on but here are some things that may apply...

Somepeople think that anyone paying attention to them, want a "relationship"of whatever sort and
either may not want one because ...they are already involved,no chemistry with person,other reasons..

some people...(myself) are very shy, clueless in most social situations that have any kind of intemacy
and so avoid them like the plague(to avoid intense feelings of discomfort)

some people(myself) are" paranoid lunatics" who think the only people who would pay attention to them want "something"...be it sex,money,a place to sleep...low self-esteem makes it very difficult to believe that anyone would actually like you ie they must be after something...

some women have been physically or sexually abused by men and have difficulty trusting men...they maybe hypersensitive to some nonverbal ques that you may not realize(and are not meaning) to be threatening...mind set...anyone who is "different" is dangerous(ironically, the men who are actually a threat tend to be those who present as the most "normal" because they are psycopaths who know how to manipulate and are very good at lieing?presenting non-threatening nonverbal communication)


None of this may apply to your situation but they are reasons that I have avoided men who were probably only trying to be friendly..

In other words,there isnt much you can do about it because the problem isnt yours, it is theirs...

Jedi, do you have a degree of intensity about you or are you quiet when you're not talking to them? I've noticed that with myself that's probably the biggest reason I get those kinds of reactions. As far as the girls I work with there's at least a few I can talk to anytime and as well there's a few who even while they smile at me and say hi it's like they forbid themselves from opening up past 5 words a day (and if they open up to someone they usually would and forget I was there they usually do get akward when that catches up to them and they'll be kinda icey, like you said, for the next few days). What I think emotional intensity or having a kind of self-carriage like you have a lot of introvert depth do is they put you in a place where its much tougher for a woman not to take your sexuality ahead of you first and either chat you up if she 'likes' you or distance herself if she's not interested. This is also the same reason I think I have a hard time finding girl-pals on my own but get along great with friend's girlfriends or friends I meet and get to chill with through friends.

It sucks but that's just the way it goes. The things I've noticed a lot of guys do who are able to talk to almost any girl at work and get a good conversation running is they're able to pretty much squash any emotional intensity, send a real dry and innocuous vibe (I try but the best I can often do with that is keeping my words in that zone), and they also do great at presenting themselves as the kinds of guys who'll talk to anyone anywhere. Mind you, those are the things I try to do, I succeed these days to a better extent than I used to, but I still am in an overall situation not far from where your at and it's tough to be comfortable around women when they constantly do this kind of thing and read way more into your intentions than what's there.