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gsilver
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28 Jul 2006, 12:09 pm

There is a girl who I have known for about three weeks, and while she seemed interested from the start (and I definitely liked her), I knew she was seeing someone.

On monday, she dropped some not-so-subtle hints and even told me that she had recently broken up. Given the course of the conversation I decided it would be a mistake to not ask her out, so I did.


Yesterday, we arranged a day and time.


This will be my first date, ever, even though I'm already 25. (mostly because of long term depression, which I've been slowly coming out of over the course of the last year or so)


Any general advice?



werbert
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28 Jul 2006, 12:32 pm

Shower, brush your teeth, make eye contact, and don't tell her about your fling with TheMachine1.



Rhisiart_Steffan
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28 Jul 2006, 12:36 pm

PANIC!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !

only joking, wear plently of deodrant and pray you don't get wet patches


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TheMachine1
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28 Jul 2006, 12:58 pm

You dumped me!! ! Well I have no hard feelings (I know you will be back and I will
have those "hard feelings again"). I have a book on body language and courting.
One thing I notice a women I was interested in did was she brought up in a conversation "that guy in that car was looking at my butt". What the book said was
she is testing you. I just ignored what she said. A scum bag would have said the
wrong thing giving her the impression I was just another one tracked minded male
(like 99.9% of males are). The balance you have to get right is a women wants you be nice but not a wimp. Thats a tricky thing for an aspie to get right. If your a super nice
wimp, that makes you a "friend" not a "boyfriend" .



Emoal6
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28 Jul 2006, 1:05 pm

People always say "be yourself". I can semi agree with that. In otherwords, be your best traits. Don't worry about how she's going to respond to your jokes or side comments(everyone makes them). Don't be afraid of what will happen at the end of the date or during it. Pick things to do that will keep you in a comfortable place. Dont like a lot of people around? Go to the park, swing on the swing set at a local elementary school. Want to eat, dont go somewhere fancy, go somewhere comfy. The big point here is, be happy with who you are and let her see who you can be, not neccessarily who you are at the moment. Show her the reason why you're a good guy and you deserve her companionship. Im not saying you're gonna marry the girl next week. What I am saying is that women want to have fun, they want someone they can be comfortable with, just as much as we do(we meaning guys).



donkey
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28 Jul 2006, 2:01 pm

shwer, brush , floss and take all your meds and dont fricking tell her your autistic, dont try adn bone her or paw all over her and at the end of the night, give her a kiss on the cheek but the bit of the cheek near the mouth so if she wants to she can intercept your kiss but practice in the mirror, aim for and go for the cheek.
open doors and kep conversaion going, i know it kills us but try and keepo the conversation going. and good luck



alex
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28 Jul 2006, 2:39 pm

I definitely agree that you should do something that makes you comfortable. Sitting at a restaurant is generally awkward for the first date imho. Also don't think of it as a "date," but still treat her like she's someone you'll eventually want to be making out with. Don't treat her like she's a princess, however, as you need to confident that she's the one who wants you. That will make her think you're the prize.

Emoal6 wrote:
People always say "be yourself". I can semi agree with that. In otherwords, be your best traits. Don't worry about how she's going to respond to your jokes or side comments(everyone makes them). Don't be afraid of what will happen at the end of the date or during it. Pick things to do that will keep you in a comfortable place. Dont like a lot of people around? Go to the park, swing on the swing set at a local elementary school. Want to eat, dont go somewhere fancy, go somewhere comfy. The big point here is, be happy with who you are and let her see who you can be, not neccessarily who you are at the moment. Show her the reason why you're a good guy and you deserve her companionship. Im not saying you're gonna marry the girl next week. What I am saying is that women want to have fun, they want someone they can be comfortable with, just as much as we do(we meaning guys).


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gsilver
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28 Jul 2006, 6:48 pm

A few comments:

1. She already knows that I have Aspergers. We have been friends for three weeks, and during that time I explained some of it to her.
2. She might be upset that I cheated on her with TheMachine1, since that happened after I arranged the date.
3. The restaurant that I am most familiar with is decently priced for lunch (and I eat lunch there all the time), but its dinner is rather upscale. I suggested the place when I originally asked her out, but I assumed it would be a lunch date rather than a dinner one at the time (she suggested dinner).
4. No matter what, this is only going to be a short-term thing. I’ll be leaving town in about three weeks, since I need to return for college.
5. I’m fairly sure that I’m already well into the “good guy” category with her. In many of our previous conversations, she has been very impressed by my responses.
6. If I didn’t think she wanted me, I wouldn’t have asked her to begin with. I really wasn’t planning on asking her at all, especially with my needing to leave town so soon.