Extra Martial Affair

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i feel quite lonely
no friends, no relatives, no cousins
my hubby is workholic
earlier i tried getting into extra martial affairs
but i scared those people out
i dont want sexual relationship its more of emotional relationship
i seek someone to chat with, visit places, share my feelings etc

what do u all feel...i know its risky and dangerous

.. honestly? Cheating disgusts me, no matter the conditions. But I'm crazy, don't listen to me.

I don't think you're crazy.

Seriously, not a good idea to cure loneliness.

But I'm sorry you feel so isolated - do you have any friends? Can you find some other people interested in the same things as you are?

Or just hang around here and talk to us

First off tell your partner about this. Nothing worse than finding out about a secret relationship.

This ---v


If you value your marriage, that is. There's not much of a line between a physical affair (which we deem taboo, as a rule) and an emotional affair (which we seem far more OK with, as a rule). In reality, it's hard to know which one your husband would despise more. Probably both.

I have a similar issue/situation, and I'm very much still working on the difference (or lack thereof) between physical and emotional. It's hard for me to find a relationship outside of my commited romantic relationship that's appropriate for everyone. Calling your post "Extra Marital Affair" and then saying you don't want a physical relationship (what makes you think you could resist one?) leads me to believe that you're a little confused, too. I agree with ---v


Practically speaking, you may wind up completely alone when both emotional affair and husband leave you.

Wouldn't it be more productive to try to work things out with your husband, assuming you haven't already -- or to try again, assuming you have?

Sounds more like you just need a friend than anything else. Perhaps you should work on that instead.

Unless, of course, you're looking to leave your husband.

Anyone else who cares will have noticed the title and will agree with me that there's a big difference between extra marital sex and extramarital sex.



Back on topic: I agree with TechnicalPacifist. Cheating disgusts me too.

i agree - this is what i thought. it sounds like the OP would like a best friend. or if she actually wants an emotional connection that would eventually lead to a new relationship, it's probably time to work on the marriage... or leave.

if you are not looking for a sexual relationship, you don't nec have to call it an affair
at the same time somebody will be getting F-ed

I have been that man too many times. The emotional support for a relationship that is essentially dead. Breaking my heart into pieces in a vain effort to be just a friend.

think about what you really want, why did you get with you partner in the 1st place,
communicate with them (i am an Aspie too so I know how hard this is) ultimately you stand to hurt multiple people, your S/O, as well as your emotional surrogate will both be hurt by this, don't be selfish, if what you have is worth it keep it if its not, kick the bastard loose and then you can give that emotional surragate some physical rewards.

If you look to another for the emotional and mental attachment you crave from your husband, the physical will follow, thus destroying your marriage. Here are some articles for you:

http://www.romanceclass.com/miscr/howto/hardtalk.asp

http://www.relationship-institute.com/f ... cle_ID=153

If you do that affair s**t, be ready to get thrown out on your ass "into the cold" with nobody to support you (if you are not good looking or cant support yourself).

I hate to sound cruel but that is the vicious reality of humanity.

Its what I'd do.

Thanks everyone for your guidance

You'll have saved me from getting into possible mess. Also you are correct with the affair dies out it will end with lot of emotional pain.
The last time i had such a affair it was not physical just conversations on phone i ended up going into deep depression which lasted months
and months

I cant work out with relationship with my husband its become quite stale now...its like trying to revive stale food and make it consumable.
The sex is mechanical, conversation is nil, he just answers in monosyllables.

I cant get out of the marriage because im not financially independent and also we have a kid.

Try to pretend your husband is someone new and have an affair with HIM??? win/win??

it takes two to tango

That's really sad. Did you check out the articles I sent you? One of them talks about how lack of communication leads to this very situation. Do you want to save the marriage? If he is only answering in monosyllables, maybe this is the problem. I am no expert on marriage. But I do know that it is very hard for me and my boyfriend to keep the lines of communication open. He tends to hold things in, and I tend to either shut down or snap. We have to work hard at this all the time.