31 Mar 2011, 3:51 pm
About 2 weeks ago, I rated a girl 5 stars. Now, she sent me a message ("Hi, how are you?"). My reply was simply "Fine, and you?". Not the best reply, I think.
Should I send another message to her attempting to start a conversation? Would it be a good idea mentioning one photo of her practicing boxing (I did some boxing classes for about 2 months, until they changed my work hours). Or should I just ask her about her taste in music (which she doesn't specify in her profile, but says she likes music)?
This is fairly complicated. As with everything else in life, Tesla was right about relationships. 
Bethie
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31 Mar 2011, 3:52 pm
31 Mar 2011, 4:04 pm
Yeah, about 2 hours ago. She was online 1 hour ago, but didn't reply or even visited my profile. On the other hand, I know she logged on a few times during the 2 week period between my rating and her reply, so I'm not sure of what to think. If she is as slow with this as I am (one of her matching answers says she've never been in a relashionship), we'll both die of old age before anyone gets to post the third reply... 
techstepgenr8tion
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31 Mar 2011, 5:00 pm
31 Mar 2011, 5:21 pm
Magnus_Rex wrote:
About 2 weeks ago, I rated a girl 5 stars. Now, she sent me a message ("Hi, how are you?"). My reply was simply "Fine, and you?". Not the best reply, I think.
OK, maybe not the best. Actually, your response was fine for IM, but not so much for PM. Whatever, you're stuck with it for now -- i.e., listen to Bethie and wait. Maybe she'll reply ... you never know. If she hasn't after a couple days, how about trying to finesse this with something like: "Hey, sorry for my short response a couple days ago. I was just on my way out to ..." And then give her something to work with this time!
It's a little disingenuous, sure; but, it's not harmful. It's more in the vein of trying to patch up a little awkward moment that allows you two to get back on track. And her attitude may even change from this guy isn't interested and doesn't have time for me to this guy was sweet enough to send a quick response even when he was busy.Point is, all hope is not lost. You'll have another shot -- just not today. And, yes, either of the topics you mention are totally appropriate. (If it looks likes she's boxing, BTW, be ready for her to tell you that she's in a kickboxing class. You could do a little research on that so you have something to discuss with her.)
Magnus_Rex wrote:
This is fairly complicated. As with everything else in life, Tesla was right about relationships.
Maybe, but you're totally up for it. Be confident and treat her really well. Good luck!
31 Mar 2011, 5:36 pm
Yeah, it was a PM. I'll just hope for the better and try not to mess things up next time - if there is a next time. 
01 Apr 2011, 3:41 am
Magnus_Rex wrote:
About 2 weeks ago, I rated a girl 5 stars. Now, she sent me a message ("Hi, how are you?"). My reply was simply "Fine, and you?". Not the best reply, I think.
Should I send another message to her attempting to start a conversation? Would it be a good idea mentioning one photo of her practicing boxing (I did some boxing classes for about 2 months, until they changed my work hours). Or should I just ask her about her taste in music (which she doesn't specify in her profile, but says she likes music)?
This is fairly complicated. As with everything else in life, Tesla was right about relationships.
Should I send another message to her attempting to start a conversation? Would it be a good idea mentioning one photo of her practicing boxing (I did some boxing classes for about 2 months, until they changed my work hours). Or should I just ask her about her taste in music (which she doesn't specify in her profile, but says she likes music)?
This is fairly complicated. As with everything else in life, Tesla was right about relationships.
Be careful, if the message is too intrusive and the girl go very fast then it could be an African spam.
The_Face_of_Boo
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01 Apr 2011, 3:45 pm
ZeroGravitas
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01 Apr 2011, 4:00 pm
The_Face_of_Boo
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01 Apr 2011, 5:57 pm
02 Apr 2011, 12:18 am
ZeroGravitas wrote:
Daspie: I'm a scambaiter, part of a community who delights in identifying and wasting the time of scammers.
Romance scammers use scripts called "formats." Each format will, with tiny variations, be spammed from a spam account with a short life-span, with replies to be sent to another account with a longer lifespan. As such, a very effective method of identifying a scammer is to Google phrases from their initial format. Sites such as romancescam.com and ScamWarners.com allow victims to post the details and correspondence with their scammers, so that a Google search of the scammer's name or writing will warn future victims. These sites also have databases of frequently recycled images one can search against.
One of the most often recycled phrases is a variation of "remember race and distance do not matter but love matters alot in life." Seeing this phrase or a variant should be a giant warning sign.
It is important to remember that there are two sources of romance scams: "vlads," which originate from the Former Soviet Union, and "lads" who originate mostly from West Africa.
A lad's format may initially show a love interest, and by the third exchange they will declare love and, in many cases, start calling the victim husband or wife. These are very easy to spot. In many cases, by the fourth email the scammer will claim to be on an assignment to West Africa, explaining why the money must be sent there.
Their photos are recycled. Using TinEye.com and inspecting the exif data can be helpful, revealing that in many cases the photos are years old and/or widely used all over dating sites with differing profiles.
A vlad's format is more insidious, as they can often spend weeks or months conversing before the money-grabbing hook is made. Common signs include responses in which, in each case, almost no direct mention is made of the victim's responses (or if mention is made, it is always in between two paragraphs, etc), email headers which show the message was sent via the TheBat! program (an email multiplexing program used to coordinate many accounts for mass emailing), and use of specific language quirks indicative of the use of a machine translation program. These quirks include phrases such as "I the decent girl" and other mistakes not made by people who speak English as a second language.
Romance scammers use scripts called "formats." Each format will, with tiny variations, be spammed from a spam account with a short life-span, with replies to be sent to another account with a longer lifespan. As such, a very effective method of identifying a scammer is to Google phrases from their initial format. Sites such as romancescam.com and ScamWarners.com allow victims to post the details and correspondence with their scammers, so that a Google search of the scammer's name or writing will warn future victims. These sites also have databases of frequently recycled images one can search against.
One of the most often recycled phrases is a variation of "remember race and distance do not matter but love matters alot in life." Seeing this phrase or a variant should be a giant warning sign.
It is important to remember that there are two sources of romance scams: "vlads," which originate from the Former Soviet Union, and "lads" who originate mostly from West Africa.
A lad's format may initially show a love interest, and by the third exchange they will declare love and, in many cases, start calling the victim husband or wife. These are very easy to spot. In many cases, by the fourth email the scammer will claim to be on an assignment to West Africa, explaining why the money must be sent there.
Their photos are recycled. Using TinEye.com and inspecting the exif data can be helpful, revealing that in many cases the photos are years old and/or widely used all over dating sites with differing profiles.
A vlad's format is more insidious, as they can often spend weeks or months conversing before the money-grabbing hook is made. Common signs include responses in which, in each case, almost no direct mention is made of the victim's responses (or if mention is made, it is always in between two paragraphs, etc), email headers which show the message was sent via the TheBat! program (an email multiplexing program used to coordinate many accounts for mass emailing), and use of specific language quirks indicative of the use of a machine translation program. These quirks include phrases such as "I the decent girl" and other mistakes not made by people who speak English as a second language.
Great man
03 Apr 2011, 1:58 pm
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Don't wait more than that.
Just ask her a question about something she wrote on her profile, maybe about a movie or a book or some band.
Just ask her a question about something she wrote on her profile, maybe about a movie or a book or some band.
Well, she changed her profile pic a few hours ago. If she hasn't lost interest yet, this could be the perfect opportunity. I'll try later. For now, I have less dangerous things to do, like fighting wild animals and hunting for al-Qaeda terrorists.
04 Apr 2011, 3:46 am
Magnus_Rex wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Don't wait more than that.
Just ask her a question about something she wrote on her profile, maybe about a movie or a book or some band.
Just ask her a question about something she wrote on her profile, maybe about a movie or a book or some band.
Well, she changed her profile pic a few hours ago. If she hasn't lost interest yet, this could be the perfect opportunity. I'll try later. For now, I have less dangerous things to do, like fighting wild animals and hunting for al-Qaeda terrorists.
If she changed her profile pic recently, it might be because she knows you are looking at her, and she wants to present herself well. Its just like when girls play with their hair or adjust themselves in real life. If you leave it at "Fine, how are you?" its even slower and more tedious than the small talk that happens in RL.
I've been in this situation and thought something like "Was that message too laconic?" My feeling is that those messages are a bit informal. Your conversation with her has barely begun. So, a second message to talk about something in her pictures or profile, like the boxing pic you mentioned, would not hurt. It would help affirm your interest in something she cares about. You initiated by rating her 5 stars, and now is the opportunity to indicate why.
06 Apr 2011, 8:43 am
06 Apr 2011, 9:09 am
Magnus_Rex wrote:
Since I got no reply and no more visits from her on my profile, I guess I can safely assume she's not interested anymore. Once again, I messed up. I wonder if I should ask her about what did I do wrong...
...She could at least try to make up a damn excuse, like "I'm seeing someone" or "Step off, you creep". Getting no reply is incredibly frustrating.
...She could at least try to make up a damn excuse, like "I'm seeing someone" or "Step off, you creep". Getting no reply is incredibly frustrating.
Do not ask her directly if at all. NTs have huge trouble in being direct. Send her a friendly informal message and then see what happens
?
06 Apr 2011, 9:20 am
daspie wrote:
Magnus_Rex wrote:
Since I got no reply and no more visits from her on my profile, I guess I can safely assume she's not interested anymore. Once again, I messed up. I wonder if I should ask her about what did I do wrong...
...She could at least try to make up a damn excuse, like "I'm seeing someone" or "Step off, you creep". Getting no reply is incredibly frustrating.
...She could at least try to make up a damn excuse, like "I'm seeing someone" or "Step off, you creep". Getting no reply is incredibly frustrating.
Do not ask her directly if at all. NTs have huge trouble in being direct. Send her a friendly informal message and then see what happens
?NTs struggle with something?
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