How did you get a boyfriend or girlfriend?

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chrissyrun
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11 Apr 2011, 6:40 pm

I have some questions for you?
How (talking in person, online) and where (church, school, club, other)?
How old were you?
Why (because of how they looked, personality, or a combination, or something else) be truthful, I want to hear the most sincere reply?

Oh, and do you have a lot of friends otherwise, or any friends, or some friends otherwise?



roadGames
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11 Apr 2011, 6:52 pm

chrissyrun wrote:
I have some questions for you?
How (talking in person, online) and where (church, school, club, other)?
How old were you?
Why (because of how they looked, personality, or a combination, or something else) be truthful, I want to hear the most sincere reply?

Oh, and do you have a lot of friends otherwise, or any friends, or some friends otherwise?


1. Talking in person at school, a party, or social club.
2. 23-24.
3. Initially, it was because of her look.
4. I have several close friends and ton of acquaintances that I'm friendly with.



Northeastern292
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11 Apr 2011, 7:05 pm

First relationship: FACEBOOK (we go to the same school, in fact her suitmate and I went to high school together, and this is where you start singing "It's A Small World After All". I was 18 and she had just turned 18.)
Second one: Best friend's younger sis: she was 16, I was 19.
Third one: Now that's a story-She and I know each other through a club on campus, and anyways, she was having a rough time back home after Christmas, so in the heat of the moment, I decided to ask her to our school's winter ball. Didn't think anything of it, even though she had a crush on me since she and her boyfriend split. I formally asked her out via text on New Year's Day. That fairy tale didn't last too long. To sum it up, I'm back on the market again. :P She's 18, I'm now 20.



Last edited by Northeastern292 on 11 Apr 2011, 7:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

bethmc
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11 Apr 2011, 7:29 pm

I "got" my boyfriend by being perfectly happy and content. I did not want a boyfriend - I wanted to be alone. When I finally did give him a chance, I knew I had made the right decision - that was 3 years ago. I am very glad he was patient and persistent.

It seems to me that a lot of relationships happen when people least expect them.
Just concentrate on what you want to do, pursue your interests, and it'll happen.


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wefunction
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11 Apr 2011, 7:32 pm

chrissyrun wrote:
I have some questions for you?
How (talking in person, online) and where (church, school, club, other)?
How old were you?
Why (because of how they looked, personality, or a combination, or something else) be truthful, I want to hear the most sincere reply?

Oh, and do you have a lot of friends otherwise, or any friends, or some friends otherwise?


This list could be very long but I'll answer for just one:

I met my husband at a general education night class at college. Our groups of friends all sat down in a configuration that left us seated next to each other. He appreciated my sarcasm. I was pleased when he made a comment about not knowing what the "http:" is and then said, "I was being facetious."... not only because he actually wasn't an idiot but because he knew how to use the word facetious. I was very attracted to him, so much so that I gave him the cold shoulder because I couldn't handle feeling that vulnerable. He liked me - and I knew it - because on the first smoke break of the first class, he rattled off his resume. I figured only someone nervous to talk to me would tell me his work history before his interests/hobbies. I confirmed it when I mentioned my boyfriend during a separate discussion with someone else that he was listening in on. I saw him look away and step back immediately when I said the word "boyfriend" ... like he'd made a mental note that I wasn't available. We became friends and he was always respectful. It was a while after I'd broken up with that boyfriend before we decided to start going out. There was always the attraction and the chemistry, though.

The boyfriend that I was with at that time... well... I met him because he responded to a yahoo!personals ad that I'd placed. I was a single mom, working and going to college. I just wanted to go out and have fun, so I put this ad out on yahoo!personals. It was all free back then. Hell, I don't even know if yahoo!personals exists anymore. Anyway, he was one of many who answered the ad. I went out with all the acceptable guys who answered the ad. I wasn't really ready to date or have a relationship and I think my choices with this guy proved it. He wasn't right for me. He was still the controlling, disrespectful kind of dimwit that I'd just escaped, the only difference was that this new one didn't hit or rape. So, since I wasn't in my right mind, I naturally thought he was The One. We were together for about four years before I called it quits because I was more attracted to the potential of what I could do alone than I was whatever future he and I had.



zeldapsychology
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11 Apr 2011, 9:25 pm

bethmc wrote:
I "got" my boyfriend by being perfectly happy and content. I did not want a boyfriend - I wanted to be alone. When I finally did give him a chance, I knew I had made the right decision - that was 3 years ago. I am very glad he was patient and persistent.

It seems to me that a lot of relationships happen when people least expect them.
Just concentrate on what you want to do, pursue your interests, and it'll happen.


Wow!! ! You're right!! ! Personally for me I should focus on my education and ME and some day I hope to find my intellectual equal or slightly above (that isn't my professors.) LOL!! ! I have a more intelligent conversation with them than my own parents!! ! SHEESH!



ZeroGravitas
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11 Apr 2011, 9:50 pm

I actually don't have any idea how I managed to enter relationships. I sort of stumbled into them.

My first girlfriend was at age 21. I was living with a room-mate and she moved in. Within two weeks she was dragging me out to places, within another week we were dating, and at four weeks she proposed to me. I accepted, then was the victim of a very abusive relationship for almost a year. She was smart, funny, and very interesting. http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt156316.html

I was then single for about a year. My friend (whom I had met back in college at about 17 or so) and his wife invited me over for a turkey dinner. When I got there, they told me they had made some dating site profiles for me, and refused to let me eat until I had responded to some women. One of the first women I talked to, I ended up talking to for a month before meeting. By the time we met, we had already told each other all of our histories, and had already fallen for each other. I was with her for about 8 months, when she moved to Albany to complete her PhD. She was incredibly sweet, gentle, and smart, and the breakup completely depressed the both of us.

I was then single for about 2.5 years. Around August last year, I decided that I was ready to start dating. I worked up my courage for over a week of restless walking at night, and asked out one of my coworkers. She very politely declined, saying she had a boyfriend, then asked me which of the Foundation books I would recommend.

For about five months we talked about geekish subjects and cats at work (I ranted at everyone about geekish subjects), me assuming she had no interest in me and not asking anyone else out. Around Valentine's day her boyfriend dumped her and moved away to another city to live with her ex. Two weeks later, one of our coworkers gave her my number and told her "Tom thinks you are adorable. You obviously like him. Call him!"

She called me, and asked me out. I was completely shocked, because as far as I knew she still had a boyfriend and was hence Not Available.

She had been with him for about 2 years, and had lived together for a part of that time. She's still upset, and hesitant about connecting to another person, so she is taking things very slow. She, like me, is cautious about entering another relationship without carefully digesting all of the warning signs that are in hindsight apparent in the previous relationship. So far, she's amazed at how respectfully I treat her. Of all the relationships I have had, this one is the most gentle and comfortable and fun. We seem very compatible with each other, and both have learned our lessons from previous bad relationships. She is smart, funny, sweet, gentle, and extremely adorable.


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nick007
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11 Apr 2011, 10:57 pm

I only had one girlfriend & that was about 8 years ago when I was 20. It was an online thing. I made a post on a forum I had been using a lot about leaving due to problems I was having in life & for some rezone I hesitated & she replied rite after & seemed concerned. We had chatted before a bit & we had lots of weird things in common. She was going through some stuff herself & we really connected. I wasn't looking for love or even a friend but that was just what I needed. If I believed in something like fate or destiny; that was it.

I have almost no friends offline rite now but I had a few when I was working. I have some online one but I ruined a lot of friendships with women online & offline by coming on to em


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11 Apr 2011, 10:59 pm

I got both of the two boyfriends I have had by telling the person that I liked them. :)



nick007
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11 Apr 2011, 11:35 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
I got both of the two boyfriends I have had by telling the person that I liked them. :)

I wish more women would tell guys that. My ex was the one who made the 1st relationship move as well with me; she told me she liked me after a while


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wefunction
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12 Apr 2011, 2:39 am

I went out into the woods and set up a humane cage that would surround him but not allow him to escape. Then I placed a Bud Lite and nachos in the middle and hid behind a tree until I caught myself a boyfriend.



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12 Apr 2011, 3:46 am

Current? She started flirting with me on OKCupid. Her reasoning being I was "really down to earth" in other words it was because I made myself out to be an as*hole on my profile and she didn't think I could be any worse than that.


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12 Apr 2011, 11:52 am

chrissyrun wrote:
I have some questions for you?
How (talking in person, online) and where (church, school, club, other)?
How old were you?
Why (because of how they looked, personality, or a combination, or something else) be truthful, I want to hear the most sincere reply?

Oh, and do you have a lot of friends otherwise, or any friends, or some friends otherwise?


I met my first girlfriend when I was in first grade she was so crazy about me at first I was annoyed by her but then she began to grow on me and we dated for a while until she moved away :cry:

I was 7 9 16 17 18 19 20 21 22

Well the only girl I dated for the right reason was the first girl I dated when I was in the first grade all the other girls I dated was just to either fit in with my friends at school or to get laid



Jonsi
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13 Apr 2011, 6:50 pm

Being myself, I don't remember, 15-18, personality and I haven't any real life friends.



poopylungstuffing
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13 Apr 2011, 7:16 pm

I dated my first "real" boyfriend from age 15 to age 22. We were in a band together....He started dating me after I joined the band...He was a lot older than me and we had nothing in common, but I was completely clueless on how to assert myself...
After we broke up, most of my prospective suitors were people who knew me from my having sung in a band for so many years....I had no inkling really that the fact that I was the frontperson in a band made me attractive to some people..but it seems that it does...even though I was a very awkward and oblivious type and such......After that, I was in one brief affair (with someone who knew me from my band who played in a different band)...Followed by my mind getting WRECKED by ANOTHER guy who's band had shared the stage with my band....followed by another of the same...and then I dated a guy for 2 years who started out as a roommate...He was "not so into" my band but had a really good chemistry as friends...and remained friends after we broke up...blah blah..
Fast forward fast forward....(business partner was lured by my weirdness into starting venue...but we have not been together in a long time)....dated my lonely good friend for 2 years.....but he was pretty crappy towards me....much of the time...

My current boyfriend and I started corresponding on facebook after he came to my birthday party...he also plays the uke...and the beginning of our relationship was heavily founded in correspondence...now we IM each other all the time, I see him a few times a week and we write to each other less....He plays ukulele in a Hawaiian style band...Sometimes I will open up for them...this has happened once...and is happening again on Sunday. There had been talk of me maybe singing backups or their band backing me up on stuff, but he tends not to bring me to practices, and there has even been talk that they are auditioning different girls for the band... :roll:



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13 Apr 2011, 7:26 pm

Current boyfriend was met via work three or four years ago, he was attractive and we instantly got on better than I've gotten on with anyone before, I was seeing (casually dating) Chris who was a friend of his who ended-up being a jerk and so he stepped in to protect my honour when Chris started spreading lies about me. We spent more time together, we started seeing each other before I eventually agreed to be his girlfriend.

Past boyfriends...
Andy #1 (15-18)- met via a friend at a gig, asked my friend about him and it went from there.
Jonny (17) - met online, very attractive and helped my through abuse from my first boyfriend.
Andy #2 (18-21) - met online, I found him fun and attractive, he also wasn't my first boyfriend.
Warren (21) - met online, got to know him and he became a close friend before a boyfriend.
Alex (21) - met at work, he seemed fun and very charming.
Eddy (22) - worked with him and met again at a gig, found him attractive and we clicked.
Jamie (23) - met via Alex, very attractive and arty.
John (24) - met via Alex, erm...rebound.
Graham (24) - met via work, he was hot and had great music tastes.
Chris (24) - met via work, he was very funny.

I don't do well outside of long-term relationships, the short-term relationships are me getting into relationships that weren't right for me.

Friends, I don't have many...I keep getting told I do, but I don't see the people who I considered friends socially any more, and those who I do see socially these days are people who are friends with my current boyfriend, so I don't think these count as being my friends.


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