Preference for overweight women

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I've always been attracted to overweight women, specifically to women with large hips, thighs, and butts. I don't know if thats an AS thing, but I'd always get flack from other guys about this preference, because they liked toned and fit women. And the stereotype that overweight women are less confident and get less advances from men and are more willing to give attention to men showing interested in them seems to be a myth. I pursue overweight women, but because of the social difficulties with my AS, I still fail at forming any kind of contact, unless they are outgoing. But is this preference something of AS or just a preference?

I happened on a blog once upon a time written by a fat admirer (as opposed to a fat fetishist)
and he was philosophizing about how, in his view,
a man being attracted to fat women was even less acceptable societally than being attracted to other men,
that is, that even homophobia is less universal than today's rigid aesthetic standards in the West.

I don't know that it would necessarily have to do with AS- he was NT, as far as I know.
If it had anything to do with being on the spectrum,
I would think maybe it would be because AS people usually have to learn social customs and preferences, it not being innate to us,
and in so-doing a lot of us end up questioning them to a greater extent than NT's.

I've certainly never understood the concept of judging by appearances at all,
though as always, it's hard to say whether a personal quirk we might have is just the variation of individuals,
or resultant of Autism.

Your post brightened my day-
I'm overweight (always have been)
and it's lovely when I get a glimpse of hope that I might not wind up all alone.



It's quite odd to me, the aversion to women having plump hips, thighs, and rears-
those are the very places where most female fat is stored,
and once upon a time they were associated with fertility.
If I'm not mistaken those are also the places most women say they dislike the most about their bodies,
and the areas most often targeted during liposuction.

Last edited by Bethie on 21 Mar 2011, 9:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.

emuman100, to answer your question, I think it's just your preference and nothing to do with AS.

There have been several threads about what is physically attractive and the straight male consensus always leans toward Megan Fox types over Nikki Blonsky ones.

Well I think the question is whether preference for slim women over plumper ones is as popular/universal for AS men as it is for NT men. Even if a majority of AS men are similar in that regard to NT's, a significant disparity in the margin of that majority (that couldn't be accounted for by other variables) would be an interesting phenomenon.

Its very popular for NT men. Not related to aspergers at all.

If I had a dollar for every time a guy on a dating site (NT) has asked me if I have a large bum and hips, I'd be pretty rich by now.

Last edited by hale_bopp on 21 Mar 2011, 9:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Really?

You should send some of them my way!

I think I understand what you're trying to say, Bethie. (I got a D in Statistics.) What would be more interesting to find out is the number of NT men who actually prefer heavier women as that constitutes a bigger sample than AS men. Since it is taboo in westernized societies to be explicitly open about being more attracted to heavier women, to find accurate figures in this margin and discover that it is significant would indeed be an interesting phenomenon.

Otherwise, we'll just have to rely on Maxim, FHM and GQ to tell us men's preference.

That's a very important insight-
how much of our perception as a society of men's seemingly-universal preferences in women as far as body size are influenced by a sort of "herd mentality" like the OP describes, where fans of the heavier female form feel pressure to remain "closeted" so to speak?


EDIT:
I found the FA testimony I was referencing earlier:
"It really is kind of like being gay, I guess. I know what it's like to have the world wrongly assume what my sexual tastes are, and how it feels to have my desires make me an outcast. But even gay people have the advantage of mainstream culture largely agreeing with them about what sorts of individuals from either gender are physically attractive. The women I find attractive are deemed the antithesis of beauty, treated like malformed beasts that society must ridicule, ignore and eliminate."

http://www.lardbiscuit.com/lard/truefa.html

Last edited by Bethie on 21 Mar 2011, 10:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I read something else involving a study of so-called fat admirers,
and they found that where men who didn't identify as such picked women towards the middle of a spectrum as far as weight,
FA's, responded more-strongly to heavier AND thinner-than "average" (whatever the hell that means-been a while since I read it) women-
fat-admirers seemed to reject the preference for "average" entirely.

I don't seek to speak for the OP, of course.

I need to go find it.

EDIT:
"Second, these findings also showed that FAs considered a wider range of figures to be physically attractive than did the control sample. Moreover, FAs rated the two emaciated figures (BMIs lower than 15 kg/[m.sup.2]) more positively than did the control participants. Taken together, these findings suggest that an explanation for fat admiration may be that FAs are rejecting sociocultural norms of attractiveness.

Related suggestions, based on research in body image include the possibility that FAs have low internalization of media ideals of thinness or feel lower pressure to incorporate media portrayals of thin bodies into their body size preferences. Instead, FAs may adopt more flexible norms of beauty or may even define beauty in ways that emphasize a transgression of "mainstream" norms. Relatedly, FAs may have higher self-esteem, which translates into a confidence to transgress social norms--a suggestion again derived from the body image literature."

Bolded are portions I thought could (extremely) hypothetically be spectrum-related.
(Again, not speaking for OP, just thought it was relevant.)

Here's the full article:
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m ... ntent;col1

Men like toned women? Last I checked men liked women who laid in the sun and atrophied all day. I'm guessing because that means they are weak enough to slap around and they'll succumb to skin cancer before they get any wrinkles and then he can just move on to a younger babe.

Oh noes!
I'm fat AND I don't tan.


PS Your siggy makes for good shower-singing, I've found.

It also makes for good singing driving 40 down the main stretch of road in Lakeland with the windows down. I have no shame!

Speaking of shame, what a shame your pic makes you look woefully thin Miss. Fat.

The best part is that I probably rescued this one from deletion out of a dozen others for that very reason.

I'm a pretty outspoken defender of fat people here, and people were surprised when I uploaded this pic-
apparently, if you don't have fat cheeks and 3 chins, people assume you're thin!

lol yeah that's kinda sad....the only times I have to delete pics because I don't like them they are super embarrassing because I'm so goofy or because I can see the outline of....this is L&D not adult so I'll spare you.

This is what I mean by embarrassing though. I was waking up and I can see camera flashes through my eyelids and I'm like dear god she didn't have an extra blanket so she let me use her niece's purple snuggie and now she finds it cute to take pictures of me sleeping in it? I'm going to make a goofy face and it's going to ruin her fun. Freaking backfired! I've been asking her to take it off facebook but she won't!



edit: I'm no defender of fat people however, if you sit on a computer all day and eat sweetrolls all day and weight 250lbs you have no excuse....if you work a 50 hour work week and want to come home and relax and you weight 250lbs it's understandable, if you try hard to lose it but it won't come off, sucks to be you.

Us men do not like overweight women, period!

We do not like size zero models either!

We want a woman who is thin, but has at least SOME meat on her bones.

I am 6'2" and 165, and a woman should not weigh more than me, period, unless she is tall that is.

Wait....WHAT?

I just saved it and sent it to 3,500 people.
My mom has a Snuggie...and a matching one for her bug-eyed little dachshund.
I personally think its creator is one of the world's most genius trolls.
His plan? Make it a fad for people to dress in garb traditionally only seen in depictions of Gregorian monks.

I mean "defender" in the sense that:
1. I vehemently oppose the stereotyping of fat people's lifestyles like what you just characterized.
People seem to not understand the plethora of factors that affect an individual's weight- familial genetics, underlying medical conditions including psychological ones, and, to a great extent, their socio-economic situation. The "Eat less, move more, weigh less" mantra is no more helpful to most overweight people than "Buck up" was to depressed people a few decades ago.
2. I can't figure out...if a person IS fat, or even obese, from "eating sweetrolls all day" how the hell it is anyone's business but their own? Thin people don't have to justify their habits to anyone, and neither should anyone else. They're still human beings, and deserve to be treated decently and with respect and dignity.
3. There seems to be a lot of confusion about fat-related health issues-especially the prevailing one that an overweight or obese person is necessarily unhealthy, even ABSENT of any symptom of unhealth. I think it's related to the "correlation vs causation" fallacy:
"Overweight people are more likely to have diabetes and heart disease" becomes "Being overweight CAUSES diabetes and heart disease",
as opposed to, for instance, "Overweight, diabetes, and heart disease can all be resultant (though not always) of a similar type of lifestyle, and therefore are often co-morbid in the same individuals".

Yes. Yes, it does.