Anyone here NEVER had a relationship?

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I seem to be the only guy on the planet, even among Aspies, that has never had a girlfriend, ever. No kisses, nothing. I post on the LoveShy forums sometimes, but I find they're a bit too bitter and unsupportive over there.

I must be the only 28 y.o on the planet who has no experience with girls. I have female friends, but never anything more than this.

Goodness I'd better find these bitter guy forums so I can waste time there arguing with them instead of here.

Anyway to answer your question.. theres 45 pages of people who can relate to you. http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt43368.html
I don't imagine you've been here long if you think you're the only aspie with these problems.

Plenty of time left yet, you're only 28!

Never been in one myself, unfortunately.

The thread mentioned is about the lack of sexual experiences, not about the lack of relationships.

Some of the posters(myself for example) have been in relationships but for whatever reason they didnt have sex.


As it has been mentioned you still have time left, its been years since my only relationship ended but I dont feel the need to rush things, I tried doing that in the past but for whatever reason I usually came accross as creepy so I started focusing on other aspects of life in order to look less desperate and it has improved my skills.

For example some females that were in my class when I was younger and used to avoid me and have seen me afterwards comment on how much I have changed since them and how I look much nicer now because Im not acting in a stalkerish way like I did in the past.

sex and relationships aren't really even that important IMO. The only reason they really are to the majority of the meatbags in the world is because of societal expectations + hormones.

Really, go think for yourself. Put your time into something far more worthwhile such as expanding your creativity and just moving ahead.

You are not the only one. I am 28 and have never been close to having a relationship.

The idea of dating has never appealed to me. Don't get me wrong, I would love nothing more than to be in a loving, committed relationship, but I am uninterested in the trial and error world of dating. I want simply to find "the one" and know it instantly and be finally happy. I know this is an impossible scenario (I hope I am wrong) and yet I can't/won't try for anything different.

I read your blog entry, we seem to share many interests. I hope you don't have to wait much longer before sharing your life with someone.

I haven't either, but I can deal with it.

No relationships here, too! Last weekend someone asked if I'd like to have a baby, and I can't answer that. I've done things on my own for so long that it isn't clear that I even want to be in a relationship. If I do that, then what will be expected of me? What are the costs? Will I have to compromise on other things that I'm doing? I have enough nieces and nephews that I'm not concerned about loss of genetic information if I don't ever have any kids. My career involves a project that will take care of some of the needs of all these new babies that are arriving every year, including my siblings' kids.

Like Adam82, I am a refugee from the love-shy.com boards lol. The problem there is the "looks are everything" people are a noisy and obnoxious minority....you can't post ANYTHING without one of them responding "you're ugly, get over it."

Yeah, there's a difference. I can get (and have gotten) sexual experiences...escorts aren't hard to come by where I live and they're not expensive either (and no I'm not talking street whores), but yeah I can't get a relationship



I see where you are coming from...I really do, BUT I'm the one who wants a relationship. I don't want one because it's what society or anyone else expects. Rather, it what's I WANT. Believe me, if I cared about what society thought, I'd be an extroverted as*hole because that's the people who get ahead in life.

I know tonnes of amazing looking girls being at art school. still ...think it would be quite ironic if I ever got a girlfriend though. Dating would seem pretty alien -even if my brain doesn’t stop thinking about it lol - I haven’t even held a girls hand for very long. The fact that I’m relatively popular and have had lots of friends still baffles me. I'm a 19 year old guy and when I sometimes see things like eg. bond girls I think "wow she looks nice but wouldn’t that be ridiculously cold" ;D

I'm 30 and I've never been in a relationship. I've never even been on a date.

Only one which was 4 years ago. It wasn't even much of a relationship. I never went on dates before that or after that. I'm now 28.

a lot of the guys i dated back in the day were very inexperienced love-wise, so i know that not every girl expects a guy to be knowedgeable or experienced. if you keep trying and work at things from a non-direct perspective (like spongy's approach), i think you could have future opportunities.

i know it sounds hard, but meeting a wide variety of people in various social situations can help. because then you can build a variety of experiences and interactions that help you to practice your social skills.

i still get extremely stressed out in every social event myself, so i know it isn't an easy path. i often get migraines or get ill from trying to deal with socializing. but it helps me to keep perspective... and the women who may fall for you are probably not on a dating site or whatever that love-shy board involves (the odds are against you).

one idea is to cultivate hobbies/obsessions that involve other people, or to involve other people in your activities. i have always enjoyed nature, so back in the day i joined a nature club. i also considered joining a guerilla gardening group, for instance. there are also migratory bird counts at various times during the year that i could attend.

my point is that these are normally solitary or semi-solitary activities (in my case nature, gardening, birdwatching), but it is possible to enjoy these things along with other people too. i sometimes limit my activites to a certain degree because of the anxiety, but it is still a viable way to meet people and practice interacting.

Never had any type of relationship either...

Never had a relationship, and have only managed 8 or dates, some of which were one-sided, i.e. I thought it was a date, but the other party didn't, which made things f*****g embarrassing.