How to stop liking someone?

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Hi, i've had an issue (as some of you may know due to this being mentioned in other topics) with a girl that i became obsessed with last year, and im still obsessed with. This, for the most part, is because i liked her.... a lot. Unfortunately because of how i am (possibly due to AS) she's never going to like me, and isn't even talking to me at the moment.

I was wondering if anyone here has found any effective ways to stop liking someone? any tips or tricks, shortcuts, etc. its something i really want to forget about, but as usual, im stuck on this. (I've tried the usual "do things to take your mind off it" and nothing interests me anymore)

There is no way to stop liking someone. That's the magic, the mystery of love. When you are younger, what seems to work is falling for someone else.

I would like to know also-going through a similar thing.

Me too

I've given up and told the person how I feel in an email

I regularly veer between this giving in and being honest about my feelings and getting angry and telling them it's never going to work out as they don't treat me how I want to be treated so it keeps going round and round between being nice and being nasty. They just sit back and enjoy the entertainment I think!

If you're hooked on someone though, until someone or something else comes along that you can develop an obsession with, it's near-on impossible to get them out of your system

Just choose not to like the person.

Duh!

At the risk of stating: I'm feeling warm-fuzzy here. My sympathies to you.

Antidote: Only Time.

Any obsession via AS is very strong and dominating. If you have an active imagination then this makes this much worse as you can feed something that is not really there......... Only time will wear it away.

But, one way to bring a quicker "reality check" in with this, is communicate how you feel about her. If your intuition is spot on and she says "no" then the wind is out of this imaginative sail - you are freed at the instance of this.

Last edited by Mdyar on 12 Sep 2012, 8:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Only two things will fix this: Time and distance. Sadly, this is not always possible. If you are in a situation where you are required to be in this person's presence (such as a job) then it can be very hard to deal with it. I have had this happen several times and even when logic dictates that it would never work out I still can't help but have feelings for the girl ( I am dealing with this very thing right now).

There is a third possibility though: Find another girl you like who also happens to like you back. This is usually enough to make you move on.

If there is no reciprocation on her part, you need to just keep it moving....bottom line.

You don't have to dislike someone in order to stay away from them and let them live their life.

TheSunAlsoRises

moved from General Autism Discussion to Love & Dating

Extract your hormones....it's the only way.

Quick pointers to fast track what you want to do:
*Don't tell yourself things about it working out with her or delude yourself with hope. Seems to be where most of the obsessed people fall short.
*Avoid contact and things that remind you of them.
*Find someone else and involve yourself more with them.

But whatever you do don't force yourself to dislike people or stop having feelings for them as this can affect your overall relationship and emotional development with others. Speaking from experience here. Instead try using some of the above and let it happen naturally.

I have recently (the past 7 years) have been teaching myself to Play The Piano, I will always love or enjoy all the People I meet, but I find that, I need to Teach myself To Play the Piano and everything else will follow, With aspergers, you must finish everything in you Life ,, Untill i finish each goal in life, I am useless as a friend or as a person to others:

I must do things that others may find boring or too busy for them,, yet I will find someone with the same interests that also enjoy piano music or dancing on weekends

If I find noone to be close too, I still have my work, my music , dancing, and art projects, life is short so get busy and try everything you can, and other people will join you:)

I am also going through a similar situation. According to everybody here, you cannot simply stop liking somebody. I am also obsessed with a girl who is not interested and I decided to try talking to her again in a few days. I am 99% certain that she will reject me again, but I want to try again. Maybe if I get another rejection I will forget her.

This is true.

A few years ago, I met a girl that I truly liked. I can attest that it really wasn't a silly-teenager thing. But, that's not the point. It's a bit complicated, so I won't go through it entirely. All that needs to be said is that I never asked her out. (In fact, I wonder if she even knew that I liked her.) In the end, she moved across the country. We were still Facebook friends, but there was no communication. I sent a few messages (only two, I'm not a stalker) and tried to chat a couple times, but she never responded. I got the hint and stopped trying to communicate with her. I have no idea why - maybe she just didn't want to speak to me. Either way, that was the end of it. I could never figure it out - she was always such warm, kind, and friendly in person - but I had to realize that it was over.

I knew that I would, very likely, never see her again in my life and would have to get on with my life. But I knew that there would be a period of "getting over" her - and that it would not be pleasant. That's it. Eventually it was all right - but that took a long time for me.

I wish I could tell you some tricks, tips, or activities that would help, but I don't know of anything specific. I just dove deeper into my interests (books, writing, philosophy, literature, and the rest of them). It didn't make anything go away, but it made things better. I guess, for me, just watching a good film or show helped too.

EDIT: Oh, forgot to mention that family can help a lot too - if you're close to them. In my case, though they weren't aware of how the whole thing affected me, they helped the whole process a lot. It's hard for me to explain, but it was just being close to them.