Feelings not reciprocated...

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Luella
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03 May 2011, 2:05 pm

This question is mainly for the guys:

How would you deal with a woman, whom you know quite well, who confesses her love to you and the feelings are not reciprocated? Would you avoid her in future? Still remain friends? Other?



RainingRoses
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03 May 2011, 2:28 pm

I would be extremely flattered and would definitely not avoid her. But, I'll tell you, I have probably an unhealthy appetite for that kind of attention, so this may not be the consensus response.



RightGalaxy
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03 May 2011, 6:30 pm

Luella wrote:
This question is mainly for the guys:

How would you deal with a woman, whom you know quite well, who confesses her love to you and the feelings are not reciprocated? Would you avoid her in future? Still remain friends? Other?


Tell her the truth and have her decide whether she needs to avoid you, stay friends, or whatever. You're SO one-sided. The whole world doesn't revolve around you! :x



ikorack
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03 May 2011, 8:44 pm

Luella wrote:
This question is mainly for the guys:

How would you deal with a woman, whom you know quite well, who confesses her love to you and the feelings are not reciprocated? Would you avoid her in future? Still remain friends? Other?


I go with the ignore and avoid option, but apparently I attract difficult people.

I must however disagree with Galaxy, it is not her decision to make it is yours if the woman in question shows she cannot respect your lack of romantic feelings towards her then you will of course have to do something regardless of said womans opinion. It might however be beneficial to see if she is willing to show such respect.



hale_bopp
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03 May 2011, 8:44 pm

RightGalaxy wrote:
Luella wrote:
This question is mainly for the guys:

How would you deal with a woman, whom you know quite well, who confesses her love to you and the feelings are not reciprocated? Would you avoid her in future? Still remain friends? Other?


Tell her the truth and have her decide whether she needs to avoid you, stay friends, or whatever. You're SO one-sided. The whole world doesn't revolve around you! :x


Yikes.



ToadOfSteel
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03 May 2011, 9:10 pm

I wouldn't know... women don't like me.



JohnOldman
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03 May 2011, 11:44 pm

I usually avoid everyone, regardless of what I think of them.

My thought on the issue of unrequited love is that, when and if someone unexpectedly falls in love with me again, I will make an effort to learn to love her. I would make it clear to her that I appreciate her perspective, but the relationship may not last. That's my idea. Chances are that this guy has his own spiel on romantic relationships, and perhaps his is as peculiar as mine.



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04 May 2011, 1:38 am

When I was in high school there was a girl in my high school art class who liked me but I could not stand her. She would not leave me alone. I have always had long hair so she would hold on to my hair when she talked to me. She never knew I hated it. If I would of said something everyone in the class would have held my hair so I had to keep my mouth shut. I never noticed that she liked me I never notice when someone likes me. My friends in the class made me ask her out even though I could not stand being around her. I ended up having the most awkward sex ever with her so my friends would stop making fun of me for being a virgin. (Turns out they were all virgins too) They just made fun of me for acting weird while having sex with her after she told them when I stopped being around her anymore. Its better to tell them you are not intrested in her/him. That way you don't have flashbacks over it when you in your forties. :roll:


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RightGalaxy
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04 May 2011, 11:08 am

hale_bopp wrote:
RightGalaxy wrote:
Luella wrote:
This question is mainly for the guys:

How would you deal with a woman, whom you know quite well, who confesses her love to you and the feelings are not reciprocated? Would you avoid her in future? Still remain friends? Other?


Tell her the truth and have her decide whether she needs to avoid you, stay friends, or whatever. You're SO one-sided. The whole world doesn't revolve around you! :x


Yikes.


:lol:



RightGalaxy
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04 May 2011, 11:14 am

Todesking wrote:
When I was in high school there was a girl in my high school art class who liked me but I could not stand her. She would not leave me alone. I have always had long hair so she would hold on to my hair when she talked to me. She never knew I hated it. If I would of said something everyone in the class would have held my hair so I had to keep my mouth shut. I never noticed that she liked me I never notice when someone likes me. My friends in the class made me ask her out even though I could not stand being around her. I ended up having the most awkward sex ever with her so my friends would stop making fun of me for being a virgin. (Turns out they were all virgins too) They just made fun of me for acting weird while having sex with her after she told them when I stopped being around her anymore. Its better to tell them you are not intrested in her/him. That way you don't have flashbacks over it when you in your forties. :roll:


8O I'm glad you're old now. You were a real as*hole when you were a young guy.
If she were my sister, I would have beat the crap out of you. If you didn't even LIKE her, who the hell were YOU to put your tool in her box. She held your hair?! She was an ass too. Holy crap! Flashbacks are horrible things!! :lol:



Todesking
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04 May 2011, 11:40 am

RightGalaxy wrote:
8O I'm glad you're old now. You were a real as*hole when you were a young guy.
If she were my sister, I would have beat the crap out of you. If you didn't even LIKE her, who the hell were YOU to put your tool in her box. She held your hair?! She was an ass too. Holy crap! Flashbacks are horrible things!! :lol:


At that time it was easy to get me to do things. From 7th - 10th grade I had no friends then when I was in 11th - 12th grade I started to attract the wrong people to be friends with mostly because of my violent meltdowns. The guys I was hanging out with kept harrassing me until I went with her. I they got me to do a lot of things I regret now everything from beating random guys up, busting out house windows, and home break ins. I relized these guys were a bunch of cowards who were afraid to do things themselves so they would talk me into doing it first. Once I saw how much trouble they were getting me into I stopped hanging around with them I figured sooner or latter they were going to cause me to really hurt someone or do something to cause me to go to jail. I have since stopped acting like an as*hole I will not have anything to do with a women unless I really like her. It really freaked me out being touched or having to touch someone I could not stand. As for the girl she was not innocent she seemed to get off making me uncomfortable when I said to her please don't touch me she would just laugh at me then touch my hair or sneak up behind me to hug me. Art class was made a horrible place because of the unwanted attention she showed me.

When I was in school they had an area where they kept the severely disabled students. One of the students was a low functioning autistic kid who when you touched him he would beat himself in the head. He had to wear a hockey helmet for his own protection. People would always say "How could a touch cause someone to do that?" I can certainly understand why a touch could cause a reaction like that. Everytime I am touched by someone the discomfort is like you would not believe. I have touching issues that are so bad it could trigger a meltdown or even a shut down where I become sullen and quiet. I have my memories of my parents trying to get me to show them affection towards them but they could not get me to do it. They said I soon as I was able to I would push away from them almost pushing myself out of their arms. I was only happy when I was alone in my crib.


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Todesking
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04 May 2011, 12:19 pm

Another instance of feelings are not reciprocated by me was once again when I was in high school. A group the jocks would call me f@ggot or ret*d everyday at lunch. It got to the point where their insults just blended into background noise because it happened so often. There was a new jock that transfered from another school. He would always get them to leave me alone I just figured he wasn't an as*hole like the other jocks. One day the jocks were out decorating cars and busses for a pep rally the one nice jock was not with them because he came too late to playfootball so they left him in lunch. He came up to where I was sitting and slipped me a napkin that he had written on it pretty much asking me out. I wrote "no thank you" on the napkin and slid it back to him. He blew up in my face saying no one would believe me if I told anyone then he stormed out of the lunch room. After that he was the worst at making fun of me trying to encourage other people to join in. 8Overytime I saw him school I was worried he was going to get someone to beat me up.


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Metis
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07 May 2011, 3:33 am

I would proceed with caution. I ended up married to just such a woman, who cannot stand me now, but who cannot leave because we have children.

In my case, I'd just finished an absolutely pathological unrequited love relationship (or rather, the female half did, and quite definitively, too) and was absolutely indifferent and numb. "Why not?" I asked myself. "It's not as if there are women lined up to date me."