Could I Get Back Together With Her?

Post Reply New Topic

Yesterday I posted a really depressing message in this forum about my girlfriend breaking up with me, and how it made me want to die and what not. But, I feel a little bit better today. Just a little bit, but still better, I'd say 10 - 20%. But right now however, I looked at some ways I've behaved shortly before ending our relationship, and realized that I was very clingy. My exgirlfriend did say that she still loved me, just not like I loved her. And she did say that she doesn't know if we'll get back together again, but it might happen, and that everything is all fuzzled in her mind. Now, when I was all clingy, I over exausted myself to express my love for her in ways that were really big. Maybe I just created this huge standard that she thought she had to live up to, and she left because I made it seem like we were on different levels of love. We're still friends at this point, but we're trying not to see each other for a few days. I was wondering, if at some point after we start talking again, we might be able to fix things? I could be less exaggerative about my feelings towards her, and she might realize that we do love each other in the same way after all, and it could all work out. These past few days could just be a rough patch in our relationship. So what do you think, could it still work for us?

PS. when I was clingy, I would do things like ride my bike 3 miles in the morning just so we could walk to school together. She seemed like she was getting more distant, so I did stuff like that even more. But now I think that's what drove her away. Should I tell her that too?

PPS. When we broke up, she seemed like she didn't want things to end.

PPPS. I would say that she became one of my special Asperger interests a few months before we broke up.

How old are you?

Give up. She's not worth it. You deserve better than to be tossed aside like a used food wrapper.

There is a chance, if there wasn't its likely she wouldn't have anything to do with you. Just chill out and stop trying to be around her 24/7. My suggestion is only see her a little bit and only with groups of other people. If she can see you having fun with others as opposed to being mopey and clingy, it may make her realise that your love wasn't on different levels.

HB, I disagree. Any such activity could be perceived as 'stalking'.

A while back, our church hosted a "girl's night" - teen and pre-teen girls getting advice on life from female professionals. One psychologist / relationship counselor warned the girls that when breaking up with a guy, it is important to not antagonize him, or he may turn violent. She also said that the two best ways to break up with a guy are a Clean Break or a Slow Fade. While both can be frustrating to the guy, they do not promote a confrontation - it is either a flat, cold "Good-bye" or a gradual decrease in involvement. The OPs 'girlfriend' seems to have chosen the Slow Fade.

She may be afraid that the OP will either get violent or cause a scene, especially if she tried to explain why she doesn't like him.

He's better off without her.