reciprocal feelings and unrequited love

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In all my relationships there has been a lack of reciprocated feelings, either they like me and I dont like them or I like them and they dont like me. The only relationship which had mutual reciprocation only had that for a short while before the person went off me.

How do people get a balance of reciprocation in their relationships, is it just chance or do they do things which helps the other person to reciprocate their feelings?

What can a person do to help people reciprocate?

What can a person do to stop people going off them?

It seems harsh to invest a lot in a relationship when the person can 'go off you' at any point.

I wish the world was fair and everyone felt love equally, it seems unfair to have such gulfs in feelings between people and so much unrequited love

tell me about it.
it seems the mercenary mathematics of relationships are cold and hard and not to be eluded at any step. one must have "right stuff" and this right stuff must match or complement somebody else's right stuff, or else the game is off.
btw, welcome to the WP club

I enjoy looking at failed relationships as adventures. Because they seem to always turn out that way, one astonishingly interesting - long, or short.. adventure.

Mutual feelings really isn't a issue, when its done its done.

I'm exactly in the same painful sitation. My feelings are and will probably never be reciprocated by the woman I love.

The only thing I can do is pray to God that one day he will relieve my pain and suffering and give me eternal happiness.

I think aspies are more likely to be in 'unrequited love' situations as we can be 'off putting' to people. I think aspies can be a bit like anchovies and a acquired taste where as I think NTs are more like cake which is liked by everyone. People only want a little of an aspie, friends only want to see us a bit, where as for a relationship people need to tolerate ones company for extended periods, and I think Im definitely too annoying for that.

I'm the opposite. If I don't think a person likes me, I instantly label them as worthless to me. Even with my most fervent schoolboy crushes, the guaranteed way to get me back to normal was to explain that the object of my desire didn't feel the same way. There would follow a few days of mourning and then I'd be allright again.

Also I find it hard to imagine how anybody could get into that position......I guess one person could be sexually attracted to another without any reciprocation, but that's just a physical thing and shouldn't give anybody sleepless nights. But as for the other part of the mating equation - relating - if I'm relating well to a lady, it seems absurd to imagine that she wouldn't also be relating to me.....there seems no point in getting all gooey about somebody who isn't already reciprocating my gestures of warmth, interest. I think that with experience you get to know when you're dealing with a future partner, there's a look and feel about it, though I always doubt the evidence of my own senses until we've slept together. And in spite of what I've said, I can still catch myself putting women on pedestals, as if an honest appraisal of her personality was somehow unseeemly. So yes, I suppose I do know what you're talking about. I think it's important to use a healthy bit of cynicism when thinking about individuals who might be OK as partners, even if it's not very romantic. It's wise to look ahead.