I'm afraid I'm not good enough...

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How do I stop the spiral of thoughts that come to my mind? I fear I'm not worth all the effort. I know I am a wonderful person but I cannot help but slip into self loathing. I guess part of it is because of bullying when I was younger and failed relationships before. I'm just afraid to open up. I drive myself crazy thinking too much trying to understand, to make everything right and I feel like I'm just hurting him. I try to be happy but I end up slipping into the depression I feel. I miss him and the distance is not helping. Why can't I not worry like everyone else? Why do I think so much? I feel obsessive and this is also making me upset cause I don't want to be obsessive.

Hi Tarralikitak! (By the way I really like your name. Is it Inuktitut? I was trying to learn that earlier cause it's one of the prettiest and most satisfying-to-speak languages I've come across but I couldn't find enough instructional material on it.)

Anyway - I am sorry that bullies and past bad experiences have made you self-critical. It's good you realize that you are a worthy person and that the self-criticism is baseless but bad that you feel the compulsion to criticize yourself.

Here's what I have found helps while obsessing negatively/hopelessly about something: throwing yourself into some completely absorbing project. Giving yourself some challenge like making a fancy dinner from what you find in the kitchen immediately or drawing a house plan or playing the piano or whatever you enjoy doing.

I understand that distance from someone is hard. Maybe the project could be making a present for the person?

Yeah, the name means butterfly in inuktitut. My grandmother was full Inuit. My real inuit name is Ulayu. It means Terra, the earth.

Everyone worries. A lot of us here on WP struggle with anxiety and depression. Sometimes knowing that you're not alone in this helps a bit.
I would also recommend what Purchase offered - some project or a new hobby. If you find it hard not to dwell on negative thoughts then try to distract yourself with something. Usually it helps. I know that I get depressed and fall into self-loathing mostly when I'm left for too long with nothing but my own thoughts. So sometimes even the simplest physical exercise can help.
I also think it's important to learn to accept and love yourself not just force yourself to be happy. Happiness comes in time (or so I believe). It can be very hard but you already say you know that you're a great person so that's a start.
I really hope you'll find a way to get rid of negativity and feel better.

I keep thinking I'm not good enough to go pick up chicks. I'm so afraid of being hurt and the tired "just go and do it" advice doesn't seem to help me much.

I've always was interested in how Inuit lived. Tarralikitak, you seem like a great person, you're quite attractive, and I'm sure you have a lot of culture to offer. The best way I can thing of is to somehow change your thought pattern or frame of mine, look at it from a different perspective. I know it's easier said than done, but it starts with accepting who you are. Be proud of who you are.

I don't get bullied much anymore though, but I was when I was younger. I was even called teachers pet at the same school that gave me a medal for kind heartedness back in grade five.

Tarralikitak, you are a wonderful person, and the medal just proves that.

^_^ Aww, thank you

I have exactly the same problem, but only in the winter...when the sun is out I am the complete opposite...

I have tried EVERYTHING...spectrum lighting, vitamin D, anti depressants etc... i think, unfortunatly, it has a TON to do with the people around me...

last winter I was fine, and whenever I live in a sunnyplace I am fine, but here in the city surrounded by negativity, I have had one of the worst andlonliest winters of mylife....

I deal with feelings of self worth all the time. I still deal with them. But the best coping mechanism I've come up with is to cut out all people. Not to isolate myself, but I just don't let people in so they can hurt me. I care only for me and my work, and try to remind myself that no one else matters or is worth the time of day. Because they're not.

I mean, really, why do we go through such misery for other people? Why must we change who we are? I purposely dress as blandly and inconspicuously as possible, because I don't want to attract the sort of people who are drawn to me to begin with by the clothes I wear, the expensive or trendy labels I sport. Those people are worthless wastes of flesh and life. I will not play by our updated rules of nature, who has the shiniest fish scales or the prettiest feathers.

I dress and look the way I look because I like it, not because of any other f*cking human. If I ever open up to any other person, it will be the person who has an interest in me for me, in who I am, and in the work I do as a creative filmmaker. Not because of my looks, or my clothes, or my stuff, which is what most people (men and women) concern themselves with. These people are wasting their own lives, and they sure as hell aren't going to waste mine with their mediocrity.

Tell yourself you're good enough. Tell yourself that your BETTER, and go out and prove it by being the BEST individual you can be. Make the rest of humanity live up to YOUR standards. Because most are utterly average, utterly boring, utterly conventional, who when they die will have nothing to mark their passage except for a tombstone and obtiuary. Do not waste your time and life on these people, and instead reserve yourself only for the VERY BEST, the ones who can meet your standards. And if you never find anyone, so be it. At least you stayed true to your principles.

better than to be so desperate to appeal to others that you sacrifice everything that makes you who you are. I've been down that road, trying to be helpful,and nice, compromising on everything, smiling and listening to other people's problems and taking time to do favors, and generally trying to make myself as appealing as possible. And you know what that got me?

Jack s**t. People used me, and dropped me. One f*****g b***h rebuffed me so she could have an affair with a married guy. I realized she wasn't worth it. I've realized basically all the girls I've pursued were wastes of flesh. People with no ambition, or so ilttle it was pathetic. They aspired to be cogs in corporate machines, and consumerist drones. They were content as long as they had their nice clothes, their stuff and an occasional trip to the tropics.

f**k them. I'm through wasting my time trying to be good enough. I AM good enough, and I am content to practice my art, and if someone comes along who likes me, and wants to be with me, she'll have to prove HER WORTH, because my time is too precious.