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autisticon
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07 Aug 2006, 9:26 pm

So this past friday was the 6 month anniversary of my first kiss with my girl. I thought I'd do something sweet and send her some flowers. Sadly I didnt get the response I hoped for, and she told me we needed to talk. Long story short, we're now on a "break."

Am I correct to interpret this as meaning I was dumped and she was too "nice" to tell me?



whiteskunk
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07 Aug 2006, 10:05 pm

It's hard to say. But most likely, yes. It's never easy for either when something like this happens. I've ben dumped more times than I want to count. It still stings no matter what your age is. But look at it this way. . .you are free to explore new relationships. And who knows, the next one may be the right one for you. Never give up.


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mysteriouslyabsent
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09 Aug 2006, 6:56 pm

Basically, yes, it most likely means she has probably seen a better guy and wants to try him out, but if he sucks then she might go back to you again (hence the 'break' she thinks you will sit around waiting for her as her back up).

If I were you I would end it now, I wouldn't take her back either, if she's going to go off whenever she feels like it she will probably do it again.

If you still might want her back, tell her as soon as you can that you have decided you would prefer to end it rather than just a break, this might be enough to make her realise she can't take you for granted, plus it makes you the decider on who ultimately gets dumped.



Enigmatic_Oddity
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09 Aug 2006, 7:22 pm

mysteriouslyabsent wrote:
Basically, yes, it most likely means she has probably seen a better guy and wants to try him out


I disagree. When I read austicon's post the first thing I thought was that she'd been thinking about this for a while and the flowers pushed her to finally confess that perhaps she didn't feel the same way as six months ago. But for her to be seeing another boy... no I can't agree. Sometimes a person just loses the feelings they had for a person over time and it has nothing to do with them having another person to go with.

mysteriouslyabsent wrote:
If you still might want her back, tell her as soon as you can that you have decided you would prefer to end it rather than just a break


Yeah, that's your best course of action here I think. If you are really unsure about why this has happened and you can think you can handle whatever the truth is, perhaps you could also ask her why she wants this break. Since you've been going out for at least six months, I would hope she'd respect you enough to give you an honest reply.



autisticon
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09 Aug 2006, 10:18 pm

Well we had a good discussion about it the night of... she tried her best to explain things. In a lot of ways she a lot like me, not good with relationships and kinda afraid of being in one (we're both in our 20's and this is our first relationship each). She actually told me we'd have to start from the beginning again when she moves back (been a long distance relationship for the second half of the duration). So we have something like a month until then. So i guess all I can do for now is keep my overactive imagination under control and wait it out.



whiteskunk
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09 Aug 2006, 10:40 pm

Personally I hope everything works out for the two of you. Good luck and know that the majority of us here wish you the best.


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Spieder
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09 Aug 2006, 11:53 pm

I'm sorry. I know how painfull a break up is. My advice is that no matter how you feel suck it up in front of her. Let her know you care but that you are in control and that you are strong. It is a turn on, believe it or not. The problem is, if she gets back together again with you, you will probably break up again. It may go off and on for a while. If it looks like it might oscillate, put a stop to it. Never let someone rob you of your self respect.

Let me give you an example of a what I said to an ex girlfriend that re-ignited our relationship for 4 months (kinda wish it hadn't):

she said (tears in her eyes): "I am so sorry for leading you on. I don't think that we are right for each other. I don't want it to go on any further so you get hurt."

I said (smiling but still with a sad expression): "I disagree with you. I don't think we gave it enough time to really get to know one another. However, I respect you decision and I wish you the best of luck finding the right person. I am sure that it is my loss."

We cried and kissed etc. However, the final break up was terrible since we become even closer over time. Plus, you'll alwys have it in the back of your mind that she may leave you again at any time.