Asexual?

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I've seen this board several times searching various things online and I finally decided to stop lurking. I have seen a trend here that I find quite interesting. There seem to be a lot of AS men and women that have dating issues of one sort or another, but I have yet to see anyone posting who is asexual. When I was a teenager, I had a few girlfriends but I never felt anything for them. I could see that they were attractive, but I wasn't attracted to them. So we'd break up. This continued until college, simply because I thought(and was told "you just haven't found the 'right one' yet") that's what normal people did. After that, I stopped chasing something I had no desire for, and 10 years later I haven't had so much as a first date. And I'm completely ok with that. I know people like Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, and Michael Burry are all in relationships but I don't know if asexuality is prominent in aspies or not. Are there any other asexual aspies here? What has been your experience?

There are quite a few of us, actually.

There seems to be a higher percentage of Aspies in the asexual community, but not necessarily a higher percentage of asexuals in the Aspie community, although I do run into more Aces on this site than anywhere else.

Some have speculated that Aspies tend to fall into the extreme ends of the sexuality scale, either hypersexual, or hyposexual. Don't know any hard facts to back that up, though. As for myself, I was never interested in sex or romance. The entire concept of "dating" was always stupid to me and I observed it made others act stupid as well. I felt no compulsion to seek sex or companionship of that sort and I had no desire to join the inane competition for affection that so consumed the lives of the people around me.

I. Just. Don't. Care.

I'm close to being asexual and, from what I've heard, it is pretty common, especially among Aspies. You should check out AVEN if you are interested in learning more about asexuality in general. I lurked there for a bit too and found it to be informative.

I guess the key would be deciding if you are truly happier on your own or if you would like some form of companionship. Some asexual people find that they are happy in romantic relationships, others can tolerate being in a sexual relationship, and others still find that they are content with just being single.

For me, I like the romantic side of things and fall in love with some ease, but I bristle a bit at sexual relationships. Part of me resents that I wasn't just able to remain a kid my whole life and puberty was around the time when I started really feeling like an outsider among my peer group. I was an outsider before that too, but it didn't hit me as hard until about middle school. Before then, I was simply content to being by myself. When I was a kid, my ideal future was that I'd eventually move in with my best friend and we'd share a house. The thought of getting married or having kids didn't even factor into the equation... years later, I find that not too much has changed.

And just for the record, I can notice when people are attractive, but I don't feel anything towards them. I've never looked at someone and thought they were sexy. That is a completely foreign concept to me.

There are definitely other asexual Aspies here, you just must not have seen the posts.

There are several discussions on the topic, and it is common (although I definitely think we are a minority here on wrong planet!)

I don't really have a lot of experiences to share: I have never had a relationship in my life, although I would not have considered myself asexual until just recently. I may have always been asexual or maybe I haven't been. *shrug* I really don't know, nor do I particularly care. Right now, though, I am...but I do want a relationship at some point, just not a physical one (I know the likelihood of that is slim to nil!)

Welcome!

There are a ton of asexual aspies. Like you, I had myself convinced that I just didn't meet the "right one" yet, and that I would eventually find someone. I know intellectually when someone is attractive, but I can't say with honesty that I'm sexually or emotionally attracted to them.

Just thought I'd throw in my vote, I'm an Asexual Aspie.

I've described myself as "borderline asexual" before, but perhaps "sexually indifferent" would be more accurate. I haven't been in a relationship since 2003 and putting a dating profile online has been the extent of my search efforts. I'm open to relationships but it's not exactly something I'm desperate for.

I'm asexual, although I'm actually curious about sex and not repulsed by it.

But I've never felt sexual attraction in my life. Well, maybe once.

I used to have crushes on girls when I was younger, but I haven't really been emotionally attached to anyone for a long, long time.
I don't think I'm asexual, because sexual activities tend to give me pleasure, but... the part about emotional attachment seems to be lacking. But then again, that could be because it's been abnormally hard for me to find anyone who would be likely to even remotely respond to such feelings. So yeah... hopefully it's just a matter of finding 'the one'.

I wouldn't describe myself as asexual, more like unlucky and lovesick.

Everytime I fall in love, she either lives in a different country, already has a boyfriend or simply not interested (or not attracted) in me for one reason or another.

Urgh, I understand about the 'in another country'. ;-;

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Just to throw in my two cents. I know I can get romantically attatched to people (guys and girls, although I identify as gay for reasons I'm about to mention), but I'm not quite sure about my 'sexuality' as of yet (not much experience I'll chalk it down to!). I know I am most definitely not attracted sexually to guys, and am to girls. I know I've tried something with a guy (to 'prove' to myself I was straight, at the time), and was completely repulsed even though the guy was what should be 'perfect'. Never tried anything with a girl even though I get sexually attracted to them, but it's possibly that when I /do/ finally do something with a girl that sexual attraction will 'switch' off.
So after all that rambling, my answer is 'possibly'. I'm gay or asexual, it will depend on future experience. (At the moment, on knowledge I have and to open myself up for said experiences, I identify as gay, even though the latter is possible.)

Have you considered the fact that you fall for people that you can't have? I think there's a name for that condition... I can't remember now.. I was like that in my teenage until I went to a physcriatrist and she helped me deal with it. She said since my dad was not around me a lot I kept looking for male companionship in unavailable people.... I sorta dealt with it by spending a lot of time with my dad... So maybe you can help yourself by spending time with a parent or someone like a parent..

I'm struggling to define whether I'm asexual or demisexual-
it would seem that there exists a very strong anecdotal correlation between asexuality and Aspergers:
spend enough time here or AVEN and it becomes quite apparent.

Makes sense for people who are "wired" differently, and often have sensory anomalies, and issues with emotional connection with people.

So little research has been done on asexuality as an orientation distinct from sexual dysfunctions,
let alone it's correlation with other traits, it's obvious more hard data is needed.

There's an asexual thread in the LGBT section. Has over 3 pages of replies. Here's link~ http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt151439.html

My opinion is that there is the same variety of sexuality among us, as with all the other people in general. We just don't feel so bound by social norms, so we are more openly what we are.

I drift between asexual and demisexual.