What do you think - is our relationship over?

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I met someone online a few weeks ago and I'm crazy about her. As far as I can tell she likes me a lot - she has said so, and yesterday we met for the first time (she lives over five hundred miles away). As far as I can tell the date went really well - she started nervous but relaxed, I made her laugh, she put her arm in mine, etc (nobody has EVER done that before).

I am DESPERATE to know how she feels now, and have been careful to only ask a couple of restrained questions - three short texts and two short emails in 30 hours, asking how she feels. But in the last 30 hours since the date she has only texted twice: very short messages, without much information. This may not sound serious, but she loves her iPod, she is always online, she has no job, so why the silence??? Everyone I know who is in love texts constantly.

I see two possibilities:
1. The date was not as great as a I thought, to her. Maybe she doesn't really want a joker (I was very serious and intellectual online but just a joker in real life - she may have been disappointed). Maybe the arm holding was just how she normally goes on a date. Maybe the "I like you a lot" is part of the "it's not you, it's me" break up speech.

or

2. She just has problems connecting with people. She has said that before, though it didn't stop her having relationships that lasted years in the past. But let's assume that is correct. I am 500 miles away, and lack the NT skills to know what she is thinking. So if she lacks the emotional strength to talk by electronic means then I am doomed.

you said your messages were short too so maybe she is thinking the same sort of things. when i've been on dates with people before I usually had no idea what they was thinking after either and so just 'played it cool' until I was able to get more of an idea of their thoughts. I'd much rather someone was upfront and just said 'i thought that went really well and would like to see you again' or 'i didnt feel much of a connection so maybe we should just stay friends'....maybe you should send her a clear and open message like that?

Yep, that's what I thought too. You are both doing the same. Take the lead and be honest with her. Personally I can't be doing with all the game playing around the beginning of a relationship. When I met my husband he was completely open and honest from day one. It was such a relief.

It sounds to me like she simply doesn't want to move too fast, and so she is slowing down. I've had that happen to me before. If you keep pushing it and asking her about the next date, she is going to feel pressured into going on a second date, and nobody wants to feel obligated to hang out with someone they barely know. I've done that before too...in fact, I'm doing it right now. I just can't seem to stop.

I´ll have to go with what the girls have previously said.

I´ve been exchanging messages with females for quite a while and most of the time you get something thats similar to what you initially give.

ie: I´ve been texting with this girl for several months(in friendly terms), she is aware of how much I care for her and because of this she tries her best to meet the standards of my previous text. This means that if I send her a over 1000 words message Im likely to get a similar reply but it also means that if I send her a short message saying that Ive been busy or something I´ll get a short reply saying that its ok(and I consider myself lucky for getting a reply most of the times/the fact that she puts up with this kind of things).

I would suggest you try to send a message thats a little longer and wait for her reply.

Also most people I know dont have success after the first message(I had to attempt over 4 times to finally connect with my actual friend properly) so dont give up if she doesnt answer the same way at the first time.


As for the if the relationship is over I think its quite simple. You try to arrange another date(I know you live far away but perhaps you could say something like maybe next time we can do x and see if she avoids your comment or something.)