giving up.

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i can't make a connection to anyone. i'm done trying... a relationship is just something that i will never have.

If that's your photo then you aren't unattractive by a long stretch. Just keep trying if you can.

Yes, you are quite handsome. I'll bet other people are not getting signals from you that you are available.

looks only take you so far Tequila, chemistry is far more important when it comes to relationship. you have to be on the same wavelength as the person for there to be a real connection. having AS kind of throws a wrench into the whole chemistry thing...

Oh dear lord, chemistry....how i've come to loathe that word. Nothing like having people tell you that you're awesome but there's no chemistry, or having to explain to people who look at you like you're being stupid that you're single because u can't no matter how hard you try produce this "chemistry".
I still don't have any idea wtf the word means. I suppose i could understand what it meant if I felt it, but to me if I like spending time with a girl and i find her attractive then i'm interested, that it's not this simple to others is just weird to me. (yes sometimes you can like a person but realize that's your not compatible as more than friends but that's still not this ridicolous "chemistry")

/rant over
Anyway, understand where you're coming from. Take a break and you'll get back the urge to try. gotta keep faith that while we don't connect as easily as others it doesn't mean we can't find anyone at all to connect with.............heh, wish I believed this myself

i feel the same way Garath. i know what it means to have chemistry with a person, i just never actually felt it before. i'm not mentally/emotionally capable of making a connection any deeper than just friends with a woman. a life of solitude seems to be the appropriate path unfortunately.

Well, chemistry is that thing that makes explosions right, isn't that the reason all those "wonderful" relations go south so fast? Because of the explosive fights in relations with chemistry...

Anyways, the fact you posted here means you probably have problems with living a life of solitude and I advice you to focus on a hobby for a while and get things straightened out in your head, see what you really want. Just like Garath said, the urge returns after a while and you can try anew with reinvigorated spirit and hope.

Earn lots of money and be rich. That has a funny way of creating chemistry with all kinds of women.

Seriously though, many women want a man they look up to and gives them a sense of security. So if you are stable and financially secure many poor or women from poorer countries might find you very desirable.

But is that a desirable way to get a gf/wife, I would say no. You don't want the security of: "As long as I have money I won't be alone"

Chemisty is another word to measure how confident and how in tune you are to the other person. In other words good chemistry is nothing more then saying you want chinese food when they want chinese food. I was 24 before i found my first GF. Then after a long relastionship, i pretty much went through girls like water. Now i have another long term relastionship. What i got out of all of this, is girls like dark and mysterious (dont tell them why you are staring at them, just smile a crooked grin). Also it seems people with aspergers tend to have alot better chances at long term relastionships once in them then everyone else. I prefer to date online first, then meet in person. Usually you can get a chick hooked on your personality before you meet and then they ignore your quirks, cause they already care about you.

I'm 0 for 2 on that account, as soon as they met me I was suddenly destined to be their best friend in the world. Coincidentally those are also the only 2 girls who have ever expressed interest in me, so I developed this theory that I have "genetically insufficient" written on my forehead, but that this can't be seen on photos.

i have given up too.

I think relationships can be very hard for aspies and its good to accept when your not good at things. For example Im bad at maths and anyone sensible would discourage me from a career in it. yet with relationships which Im also bad at people illogically think I should persist futiley in.

I think aspies are often better off just having friends for company/outings and a sex toy for their sexual needs. I think relationship whilst able to bring a lot of happiness and meaning to peoples lives are less likely to do so for an aspie and instead bring an intollerable level of uncomfortable emotion and lots of stress and misery.

My plan is to always stay single.

However in your case I expect you will come across a caring nice girl who you like and who likes you and have a happy life with her.

I understand what it's like; I almost never feel chemistry. But about once every few years it happens; I meet someone and am able to feel a connection. Two times out of three they don't like me back (basic probability would state that much) but once I have been lucky enough for it to work out, temporarily (my second relationship I didn't feel that deeper connection but I decided to try anyway because I figured it probably wouldn't ever happen).

I think I have felt it 3 times in my life. Once the guy liked me back. But then there are all the other factors too that determine compatibility; interests, personality, lifestyle, etc etc, and in some of those areas we just didn't match up.

What I'm trying to say, is I think chemistry happens less often for us. I don't know why this is. But I think it can still happen. I wouldn't give up hope completely. At the same time I think it's sensible to expect you probably will remain single, and plan your life accordingly. This is what I have done because I know my chances aren't great, and I know I won't date someone again unless I feel that deeper connection with them.

As far as I'm concerned, "chemistry" is just a word women use to reject you in a nice way...

But there's nothing nice about it. "the flying spaghetti monster told me we can't be together" is equally concrete and helpful. I actually prefer her giving some real f*****g reasons so I know what I did wrong or what is wrong.

Well put, I like that analogy. If a person isn't capable of something, why keep trying? All it results in is the person being left completely drained and frustrated from his/her efforts.
I only agree with this partially due to the fact that some aspies out there actually have healthy happy relationships. I think where along the spectrum you fall plays a huge role in your ability to connect with people and form relationships. For instance, I'm highly functional in most aspects, however, I'm severely impaired in some areas such as emotions. I'm sure there aspies out there who might have no issues in regards to emotions, but have trouble with other things normally associated with AS. Every aspie is different.