the kiss test (a how to for aspies and dating)

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Ok so you finally have a date, but you just can't tell if she is really interested in you.
here is the method I learned (which is very effective)
the kiss test

in short you will need to reach up and touch (his/her) ear, perhaps brush their hair back, next look into their eyes, then immediately (you don't have to hang at the eyes, so don't freak out) look down at her lips, repeat this 2-3 times, now go for the kiss

basically this requires
1 that this person is ok with you entering their personal space,
2 that they are ok with you touching them in a more than just friendly mannor
3 while we might miss it entirely NT's will figure it out what you are looking to do, probably before you get there

if the person is not interested then they are probably going to make an effort to avoid before you get to the final step (if so try again later, women do like persistence, but only to a point, if it still hasn't worked and the date is done, don't waste your time calling them again)

Sounds like a pretty good breakdown. I just keep thinking that life would be so much simpler if people simply asked something along the lines of "may I kiss you?" But social niceties make life so complicated .

f**k social niceties, that's honestly what i would do. If that ruins it for the girl she's probably not right for me anyway...
But yeah, thanks for the guide for how to do it like a "man"

my husband did that. he asked at every stage if what he was doing was okay with me. i liked it, but it was not romantic or anything.

i have been surprised by a guy suddenly kissing me as i missed the signals leading up to it.

This has happened to me on several occasions with friends (who I didn't realize liked me as more than a friend). I usually completely freeze up, because I'm taken by surprise and don't know what to do, plus I don't want to offend them and lose the friendship.

yes, me too. i would end up shocked and weirdly afraid to stop it (i know it isn't rational). the guys would wonder why i wasn't interested after that because i seemed to like them... i mean, i let them kiss me.

yes, it's a nasty predicament. I just don't realize what is happening or what is about to happen because I don't read the signals, or understand the social context of the situation until it is too late (generally I can only figure it out in retrospect). It doesn't happen so much to me any more, I think because I am less social and also no longer live in college.

What if you're a guy that isn't comfortable kissing on the first date even if you're interested?

I suppose that, from a woman's perspective that by asking permission it is though he is trying to do something he really shouldn't. So if he asks permission, he isn't confident that he can go through with it.

If he doesn't ask permission though, that's a whole other can of worms as well. It could be anything from "wow!" to "get the feck away from me" type reaction.

I think it's about reading as many signals as possible and body language. Although, even here, it isn't clear-cut for NTs and for people with Asperger's Syndrome it can be positively nightmarish. And then you have women sending mixed signals constantly. What's a guy to do?

sounds hot in a strange way, but i would make sure she knows you want to move slow and doesn't assume you are disinterested.

i remember hearing that Catherine Zeta-Jones didn't let Michael Douglas kiss her for like 6 months, but i don't know if it is a mayth.

You hit the nail on the head there, first notice and measure changes in body language and other non-verbal cues thats called calibration. Then you match then non-verbal cues now thats called mirroring. Get them right then bingo you'll then hit the jackpot

f**k yeah! You should just be able to ask...

f**k... of course that's why there's this social bullcrap. Motherf**king romance.

Well, f**k romance. I've been to too many sexual harassment seminars to not be afraid to not ask.

I would probably wait until the 3rd date. I dont want to be surprised though. I would like to know it was going to happen and was coming up, it is one of those occasions where the anticipation is just as exciting as the actual event.

If it makes you feel better to ask. I have occasionally added asking would this be a really bad idea just before kissing.

Another point... I've never experienced this myself b/c I tend to physically threaten to hurt people who'd try to kiss me , but DO NOT STICK YOUR TONGUE IN THE OTHER PERSON'S MOUTH RIGHT AWAY. Frenching is for LATER!! !

You could always date me, you know... I need more time to feel comfortable as well.