How did you tell your SO/ get told by them

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It's a simple question. How did you tell your partner that your were an aspire, or how we're you told?

This is both because I'm curious and haven't told my girlfriend but need to and don't know how.

I didn't. I won't. End of story.

Not sure what to tell you. Its the kind of thing that you're better off telling NT's in a no-strings-attached sort of manner, ie. making sure they know that you're not telling them in order to drop a brick of responsibility in their lap or, if they've had bad enough things happen in the past, perhaps may worry that you're taking em for a jog. If they realize you're just saying it in passing or even to improve communication it seems like two things happen: a) they receive it well, b) they have the time to chew over what it really means and they essentially come around to understanding most of what they need to or at least as much as they can.

IMHO if she's interested enough to be with you I don't think it'll be a dealbreaker, just so long as she knows you're not setting her up or leveraging her.

i mean.. is it even optimal to tell them?

the only time i could see this being optimal is PAST the date when both of you say 'i love you'. before this, i feel like spilling this bit of knowledge will push most girls away. do most girls want to date someone who is autistic? that word sure does come with a pretty bad stigma.

idk. they'll certainly know we are quirky, so i think it might be better to leave it at that till you get past the 'i love you' stage. then you can focus on what you will do next.

and what good will it do, really? better communication can be done without spilling the proverbial beans. just tell them you are oblivious to nonverbal ques, and generally oblivious to things that 'beat around the bush' and arent super direct and straight forward.

it is indeed best to wait untill you are steady with each other, since disclosing might cause fear in the other person (fear of the unknown if a powerful emotion).
what i did for some of my friends/housemates is the sneaky way: on a movie night, i proposed a movie that i knew had an asperger lead role (written and intentionally asperger), i think it was 'Mozart and the whale', then let them recognize me in the lead actor and come up with the question "wait, are you..."

The other sneaky that tends to work well is when you can socially normalize the experience well; the easiest way is when people for some reason get on the topic of OCD, ADD, or whatever idiocyncracies they have and you'd mention something completely in passing about being able to relate to some of it because you have AS/autism and there's a little bit of overlap. Same for if you get on a conversation where to explain a story right or give context to a past event that had to do with your parents being overconcerned about something or other people who knew about your dx - you both get to disclose your AS and you also get to look independent and respectable when the message you're clearly sending is "Yeah, I have this, it can make life 'interesting' at times but its not a crutch by any stretch either".

I prefer not to tell, but if i am asked i will tell the truth.
The problem is, that if i mention Asperger's,- someone will look it up on wikipedia..
and draw the wrong conclusion that i am exactly like that even if i have mild Asperger's.
And then, the get scared..

Assuming you mean "Aspie", the answer is yes. When we first started talking it's one of the first things I mentioned. I do not want to be with someone who has issues with who I am.

I told the latest guy before anything was going on between us. I think that's the best way, really. That way, they know what they're getting into.

I told my bloke I was an aspie shortly after I met him, incase I do have the odd behaviour whilst out and about. Which we happen to do a lot. It was a lot easier telling him than the whole class when the cleaner cleans the stairs in the middle of one of my lessons. It bothers me so much I had a melt down so I felt super embrassed afterwards >.< They have changed when the cleaner cleans though so all is good

I got told by my boyfriend that I have Aspergers, his mother and her sister-in-law already asked several times (not to me) if I had aspergers. We had gotten into a long discussion with some extremely painful silent periods that I started thinking of what I could have possibly done wrong THIS time, why he might not be happy with me, etc. I am one of the most paranoid people (relationship-wise) you will ever meet xD

Anyways, after a long chat about certain traits and me not knowing why I was like that, just knowing "I'm daddy's little girl", he asked if I wanted to know. I wasn't sure, but after a few minutes, I said I did want to know. "You sure? You won't freak out or anything?" That sent up some red flags, of course. The fact he deemed it something that I might freak out about, but nothing that would be harmful to my well-being, was a very stressful thought. Finally, he showed me the wikipedia article with the list of traits I most certainly matched, and told me that certain family members had asked if I had this. He had figured it out within a couple months of my landing in Aus, but had waited five months to finally tell me, trying to figure out HOW to tell me.

Yes, I freaked out. I cried. I said mean things in private about "how could dad do this to me?" etc etc. Life goes on, I'm learning to cope now. I'm pulling out books about AS, and doing research along with lurking this forum.

EVERYONE knows about my Asperger's Syndrome. That's one of the first things I tell people when I meet them because to me it's everyone's business. It affects how I interact with them, and if they know about my Asperger's Syndrome it helps them understand why I do the "inappropriate" things I do and why I may seem "odd" sometimes. I explain that I also may be anxious more often and that socially and emotionally I'm less mature for my age. People have been taking it very well, and it helps me interact with them.

I think this is a good approach because it doesn't make it seem like you're hiding anything from anyone and it prevents awful misunderstandings. If you do something that hurts the other person's feelings he/she/it would probably be suspicious if you were like, "Oh, I didn't mean anything; I'm Autistic!" if you never talked about it before.

I told my bf after a couple of dates. It didn't change his perception of me at all, since he's a bit nerdy too. So we kinda go together well. He didn't know what asperger's was but he knew what autism was so that helped, I guess.