Guys: do you think I'm coming on too strong?

Post Reply New Topic

Soooo been texting this guy where (I think) there's been a bit of mutual attraction.. He texted to invite me out for a drink a few weeks ago, I couldn't make it but we have been in fairly regular contact by text since.

Past few days we've been texting every day/night, we had a chat on Facebook chat lastnight. Today I texted him twice.. I was bored and knew he had a job interview so text him good luck before and asked how it went afterwards. He replied although it was fairly straight to the point and without any chat other than telling me how the interview went.

Tonight I had the great idea of phoning him to say hi... Argh... He never answered, and I've not had any message or call back to say why not.

Oops. Have I blown it by taking it a step too far with an out of the blue phone call on a week night?

Any input from guys would be awesome right now! x

I dont see what the problem is at all. I mean, texting and chat for several days is more than enough to be ok to have a phone chat, especially if you like each other and (I assume) live in the same city.

Now, IF you have never met him in person and its all been chat messages then do always keep in mind that until you talk to him on the phone and meet him in a crowded place you don't really know who you're texting with.

Thanks

Phew I feel a lot better already! Was just a bit worried that I would frighten him off, like usually isn't it the guy who's supposed to call first?

We used to work together but I don't think he realised I was into him at the time.. I've since made that pretty clear via text!

Only spanner in the works is I've since moved away and there's about 400 miles between us Don't know if there's much point in us getting closer over the phone when the distance would make it mega awkward to see much of each other. It occured to me maybe he's thinking the same... Or maybe he's just stoned and fell asleep :/

i think that's fine and there could be a million reasons he didn't answer. just wait for him to make initiate contact next to be on the safe side

Thanks love

Gonna have to behave with my phone tomorrow.. Combination of boring job and itchy text finger is a killer ha ha.

Why is it always the ones that you are into that are so confusing?! ! Grrrrr.

Nah you didnt come on to strong just wait for him to call or text you next time its the guys job to call or text first

Can I tell you a little secret?.

imo there´s no such a thing as coming on too strong and its just an excuse for not giving a girl a fair chance.

Most guys hate mindgames and the whole chasing girls/doing all the effort is pretty tiring so most guys will be very happy if a girl they are interested in made her feelings clear from the beginning.

For example some months ago I came accross a female member with too much free time that no longer posts here. After we exchanged a couple of messages she made a joke poem about me(she had a joke poem thread) and since it took me some time to reply she was worried about having taken things too far, whereas I was actually trying to make a reply to her poem that showed my grattitude without sounding creepy.

Cool... I was worried because of the whole "thrill of the chase" stereotype that guys have that if I was being too keen then it would spoil things for him, nice to know that it's not really the case

Spongy, what happened with your online girl? Did she get back to you once you had responded?

He text me at 9.30 am the next day to apologise. All good!

Now however I've not heard from him for a whole day... itchy itchy text finger that needs to be put to bed

Fnord I stated that it was my opinion at the beginning becuase I´m aware I could be mistaken on this issue and that some males may not agree with what I said.

As for the message I was trying to say that coming on too strong doesnt necesarily have to be a bad thing in OPs situation(it would be entirely different if she was doing what you said).

You also have to take into account that your experience was the exception(not many people have a similar story) and that what we are discussing is sending someone a couple of messages a day not asking him to marry her as soon as they meet.



I´m not familiar with "eat dirt and die" and its meaning so I cant make a comment on that.

Again my example was trying to convey that it doesnt necesarily mean a bad thing but I guess that its open to interpretation.

Lise:As for what happened with the girl we kept talking and then started pming. Havent exchanged any message recently because she took a break from posting and Ive been quite busy this week.I´ll try to send her a message tomorrow to see what she has been up to(her signature encourages others to contact her if they want to talk)

I think we can't really know what's going on - as people have said, there are a million different things it could be. I wouldn't worry about it too much, but there is always the possibility your original inference was correct.

I'm a guy so in my point of view an intimate long distance relationship is exhausting, especially if the women expects the man to do all the work. Men have single focus and he is looking for a job, his focus right now is getting settled into a new job and working out his schedule. It would be smart to keep your distance until he is more comfortable, occasionally texting here and there but I wouldn't waste my time with flirts just yet, odds are he has been too busy to notice.

The "thrill of the chase" thing, dudes are annoyed of it, they hate beating around the bush. Guys are always to the point, that's just simply how they work.

It's different for everybody, that kind of goes without saying.