"I Can't Believe You're Still Single!!"

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Just wondering if anybody gets this constantly.

I'm so tired of hearing it. Yes, I'm single. Do you want me to apologize for that? Have you seen what's out there?

I'm not single because I want to be single, I'm single because it's better than any of the alternatives I've collided with so far. "Lesser of two evils," so to speak. although I really don't think either option is "evil," per se, one of them is just horribly misguided and delusional.

And it probably doesn't help that I'm almost never attracted to anybody, anyway.

The main thing is, I really don't care if you can believe I'm still single or not. It doesn't change anything, and it doesn't help either one of us for you to harp on it....

I can't believe you still haven't come up with any new material....

It's not that they really can't believe you're single, just that they don't want you to feel bad because they've brought it up. You're right it's old material, but most times it's just someone trying to dig their way out of what (they think) is an awkward situation.

I agree, it's annoying if the same person says it again and again just to hear the sound of their own voice- a lot of girls conversations do seem to just be repeating s**t over and over- but again, it's not meant as a serious question; a polite 'haha' will usually do.

Alternatively, just get in there before them and say how much you love the single life, or how you just haven't had the time for anyone.. yadiyadiya...

Ugh! How I hate that! I had to put up with it for many years. I got especially annoyed when I was a single parent, and kept hearing it. At least I could then give the commenter a dirty look, while saying that I had my hands full with my child. What on earth were they suggesting, anyway? IMO, a lot of men out there didn't want to get involved with a mother. God forbid they had to be a stand in father! Anyway, i couldn't blame them. Meanwhile, I just endured. I even had people ask me how I could stand it. Stand what? Not settling for less than I deserved, just to be able to say I was in a relationship?
Or worse, they would try to match me up, never understanding that I rarely felt attracted to others.
I have never been able to understand why people care so much about the status of a single person.

It's as if they think being single is some kind of horrible disease that needs to be addressed immediately.

And I always get the impression that the underlying message is "Settle for less than what you want, so you won't have to be alone anymore."

But I spent all of my teens and twenties settling for less than what I wanted, and I'd like to think I learned something from it. Mainly that I was an idiot in my teens and twenties.

I'd still rather be alone than be with someone and WISH I was alone. And that's pretty much how all my relationships go after a few months.

Lately, I think they wouldn't believe If I ever have a girlfriend.
They know my default status already ;p.

lol should i be offended noone ever says this to me

A former friend used to say that to me. The reason I'm still single is because most of the time I'm not looking for a boyfriend, and when I am, I keep getting "friend-zoned" by the guys I like.

I can't believe you're still single!

That's a great way to describe it. That was how I felt, too. And when I would say that I hadn't met anyone that I wanted to date, I would be told that my standards were too high.

Most people can't believe I'm legal.

I always got the opposite when I was with my ex. "You're with him!?"

People tend to assume right off that I am single. I can only surmise I give off 'single' vibes. Whether it from my general oddness, or something else I haven't a clue.

iknoright



you mean they said it in a 'he's too good for her' type way?
people don't really assume anything about me

I think it was the other way around, which just irritated me.

People make a lot of erroneous and ill-informed assumptions. A lot of them seem to think that, because I write books, I should be in "high demand" or something.

The reality is that I do get a lot of e-mails from people, and some of them are -- for lack of a better or less nauseating term -- "propositions," but never ever ever from anyone I could actually be interested in.

But I think, in order to satisfy the people who say stuff like "I can't believe you're still single," I'm supposed to be actively looking for a girlfriend. Actively, as in the sense of spending every waking moment on it.

And it just isn't that big of an issue for me. Sure, I'd like to meet somebody -- but the last x number of girls I've met (with one exception) have pretty much all been looking for a guy to get drunk with and have kids with. And that's not me.

"I can't believe you're still single" is meant to be nothing more than a compliment.

What they really mean is: "surely someone a good a catch as you would be taken by now".

In rarer cases it might be said from people who are quite insecure and need to be in relationships all the time, but most of the time it's the first reason I stated.