Trying to understand HFA boyfriend

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Hi All, Recently broke up with HFA boyfriend of two years. He never spent too much time with me, whenever I complained, he said it will take time for us to come closer. I had no clue about his autism and to be frank, I had no clue what autism is. In due course of time, things got worse. As hard I was trying to talk, he withdrew more and more. One day he mentioned that he is autistic. I have tried to learn about autism. I am a researcher and to be frank, I have tried to learn scientifically and not from odd internet website. I have also read a few biographies including Temple Grandi and off-course Complete guide to Asperger Syndrome.. Its impossible to talk to him now. It seem like a dead end. Any suggestions about how to get him to talk. I love him a lot and would like to try once more with a better understanding of his neurology. Thanks a lot.

Honestly, I wouldn't bother. You've given it a shot and it hasn't worked out; he's known all along he has autism but didn't tell you about it so you could work on issues together. If one partner doesn't want to talk, then there's not much you can do, and you shouldn't have to put all the effort into understanding him.

Hi there,
no one who really loves throws two years of a relationship away. Maybe he feels not worthy, maybe he fears closeness. Many of us went through a sh***y childhood and have a lot of trouble.
You read a lot just as me so you probably understood that people on the autistic spectrum have a lot of trouble with showing emotions and they can't read other people's feelings. Actually the key to any relationship is communication but if they can't talk you can't force them. Putting emotions and thoughts in words is very hard for them. The problem is more that they retreat more and more. Maybe it just needs time to try again, give them space at first. Make them sure you care and try later. I wouldn't give up that easily. I'm married since almost 12 years and I know it needs a lot effort of both parts to maintain the love. I have only a mild form of autism.
Everyone on the autistic spectrum is unique just like NT's, so no one really can say where's exactly the problem. But I suggest you to read this. It's very insightful: http://life-with-aspergers.blogspot.com ... l?spref=tw
They way they show love is unique and very hard to recognise and some totally lack the expression of feelings.
I hope this helps you a bit. Things are lost if you lose hope.

Best wishes, Karin

I don't know whether you should give it another try or not; I think both of the posters above me make good points. Have you considered that it may be verbal communication that he really finds difficult? Some people on the spectrum can communicate much more easily in writing than verbally. Just something to consider.....