Advice needed : Gift for her

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Dantac
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21 Jun 2011, 5:57 pm

Though she and I are not involved we are friends and I think she does like me but she wont say it since we cannot be together (she was my roommate overseas for several months and I had to return and she can't come to the US).

Anyways...she had lived there for several years and I knew she considered her life boring (go to work, come home, watch tv, nothing else...she's introverted and somewhat a loner with self esteem issues) when I was there so most of the time we spent simply having fun..going places, etc. She enjoyed that a lot.

I kept in contact with her through email and of late she told me that the boredom is getting so bad she sort of picked up a habit of buying crap online, using it and then selling it after she's bored with it on ebay... even mentioned jokingly that receiving her orders in the mail made her feel like someone else was sending her gifts.


So... I want to try and send her something every month. Thing is... I don't know what.

It cannot be very big or heavy or expensive as funds are not exactly flowing right now for me..and we're talking sending this halfway around the world.

First thing i'll send her is a snoopy stuffed animal...and the month after i'll send her woodstock. After that im out of ideas.


Suggestions?



metaphysics
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21 Jun 2011, 6:12 pm

Dantac wrote:
she's introverted and somewhat a loner with self esteem issues

It cannot be very big or heavy or expensive as funds are not exactly flowing right now for me..and we're talking sending this halfway around the world.



Umm, excuse me..do you know any more of her interest? And, if so, maybe a book of her interest?

Books can vary, but however, the real value of a book is not its price. Neither its size, or weight...



Dantac
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21 Jun 2011, 6:21 pm

the size and weight is because id have to ship it overseas..that can get expensive :P

as for interests.. she's very reserved I only really got to know what she liked to eat and what movies she liked. She was my roommate for just 2 months so there wasnt much time to know more of her interests.

I guess this is more of a question for women in general of 'if you were lonely what gift would make you feel better' type of thing.

chocolate wont survive the trip :P



metaphysics
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21 Jun 2011, 6:28 pm

Dantac wrote:
the size and weight is because id have to ship it overseas..that can get expensive :P

as for interests.. she's very reserved I only really got to know what she liked to eat and what movies she liked. She was my roommate for just 2 months so there wasnt much time to know more of her interests.

I guess this is more of a question for women in general of 'if you were lonely what gift would make you feel better' type of thing.

chocolate wont survive the trip :P


Women in general? Women can vary...

I would need a book..if you are talking about things that unexpensive.

For you are an acquaintance of her, maybe something about films that she likes?



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21 Jun 2011, 6:36 pm

If the entire thought behind this is just to give her something to receive in the mail, something that says "hey, I was thinking about you," then I think it's easier than you think. You could print out a story/article/photo/recipe/etc that you found online and mail it. You could send her a pressed flower. A funny-shaped (or funny-colored) pad of Post-It Notes. A photo of a flower. A tiny bag of sand/shells from the nearest beach/lake. A battery that fits her remote control. A couple hard-candies (that don't melt.) A dollar-store bead bracelet. A quirky pair of socks. I mean, really, anything that would bring a smile to her face would work here - because it sounds like the gift isn't the point.

You might find it easier, however, if you knew a little more about her interests/favorites. Ask some questions. Or send her one of those silly email "all about me" surveys to fill out!


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Dantac
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21 Jun 2011, 6:55 pm

mox wrote:
You could print out a story/article/photo/recipe/etc that you found online and mail it. You could send her a pressed flower. A funny-shaped (or funny-colored) pad of Post-It Notes. A photo of a flower. A tiny bag of sand/shells from the nearest beach/lake. A battery that fits her remote control. A couple hard-candies (that don't melt.) A dollar-store bead bracelet. A quirky pair of socks. I mean, really, anything that would bring a smile to her face would work here - because it sounds like the gift isn't the point.


YAY! Brownie points for Mox! 8)



Dantac
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21 Jun 2011, 8:38 pm

heck double post



Chronos
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22 Jun 2011, 5:06 am

Dantac wrote:
Though she and I are not involved we are friends and I think she does like me but she wont say it since we cannot be together (she was my roommate overseas for several months and I had to return and she can't come to the US).

Anyways...she had lived there for several years and I knew she considered her life boring (go to work, come home, watch tv, nothing else...she's introverted and somewhat a loner with self esteem issues) when I was there so most of the time we spent simply having fun..going places, etc. She enjoyed that a lot.

I kept in contact with her through email and of late she told me that the boredom is getting so bad she sort of picked up a habit of buying crap online, using it and then selling it after she's bored with it on ebay... even mentioned jokingly that receiving her orders in the mail made her feel like someone else was sending her gifts.


So... I want to try and send her something every month. Thing is... I don't know what.

It cannot be very big or heavy or expensive as funds are not exactly flowing right now for me..and we're talking sending this halfway around the world.

First thing i'll send her is a snoopy stuffed animal...and the month after i'll send her woodstock. After that im out of ideas.


Suggestions?


Don't send her a gift every month. You can certainly send her a few gifts but every month is over kill. There are more interactive ways to help her with her boredom than sending her material things. She has already taken to the bad habit of trying to use material things to fill voids in her life. Why don't you send her a little something and then embark on some type of project with her.



CockneyRebel
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22 Jun 2011, 10:39 am

Maybe you can give her something that's related to one of her special interests.


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Dantac
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22 Jun 2011, 10:52 am

Chronos wrote:
Don't send her a gift every month. You can certainly send her a few gifts but every month is over kill. There are more interactive ways to help her with her boredom than sending her material things. She has already taken to the bad habit of trying to use material things to fill voids in her life. Why don't you send her a little something and then embark on some type of project with her.


You have a point. Maybe ill send her a little something for a couple months while I figure out what else can be done.

Project.. like what? We're half a world apart so we can only email each other.



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22 Jun 2011, 11:29 am

CockneyRebel wrote:
Maybe you can give her something that's related to one of her special interests.


This is also my idea :P