Feeling neglected by my boyfriend
I've been together with my boyfriend for just over 2 months now. It seems to me that I'm not really that important to him. He's a towtruck driver and works 12 hours a day and doesn't come home till midnight usually. Before he goes to work, he's usually grumpy and doesn't want to talk to me and when he gets home he just wants to go straight to bed. While he's at work, he doesn't make any effort to text or call me or anything like that. I'm always the one contacting him and even then it feels like I'm inconveniencing him. All I usually get are one word answers like "lol" when I've sent a meaningful romantic text message. No insight into how he feels about it, if he even liked it ect... Before we were dating, he'd actually make the effort to see me and tell me nice things about myself. Now all he does is talk about himself and how rough his day was or how he looks good, ect... Nothing or very little about me, his girlfriend. The one who should be the priority in his life. He keeps saying he's going to help me with things then never does. I just feel like I get in the way. He says he really loves me but I feel like I'm more of an accessory rather than a priority in his life. I've tried talking to him about it but he doesn't seem very receptive and just apologizes with no promise to fix things or make an effort or anything like that. I feel like I'm sacrificing alot for him and he's doing very little for me.
What should I do? Should I keep hanging in there and wait for him to come around? Should I try talking to him again? Or am I just being overly sensitive?
Have you tried writing down how you feel like you have typed here and then showing him so he gets how you feel?
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www.wrongplanet.net/postp5013377.html&h ... t=#5013377
Sora: "My friends are my power."
Ventus: "I'm asking you as a friend. Just... put an end to me."
The last 2 months have been a preview of what the next several decades will be like if you marry this man. You are focused on one negative aspect, but are you getting anything positive from this relationship? Like: companionship, affection, good sex, a date to social events, someone to talk to, TV watching buddy, potential future husband and father to your children?
Everybody has different expectations for relationships. Sounds like this guy wants emotional support after a hard day's work. Nothing wrong with that! The only problem in this case is the disconnect of expectations; you think the woman he's been dating for only 2 months "should" be the number one priority in his life 24/7, but his actions (as you describe them) indicate he does not agree.
Will he become more, less, or equally attentive and emotionally available over time as your relationship deepens? I think it is entirely appropriate at this point in the relationship to ask him what are his intentions for the relationship, does he see this evolving from casual into a more serious relationship? (If he says "But I thought we were serious," then you know you've got a problem!) I like PastFixation's idea to put your thoughts in writing if that's easier for you. If you are not happy with his answers, then find someone who will make you happy.
Thanks Mushroo.
Though I agree with most of what you said, I don't agree that staying with a gf or bf because they make great sex is not a positive reason to stay in a relationship.
_________________
www.wrongplanet.net/postp5013377.html&h ... t=#5013377
Sora: "My friends are my power."
Ventus: "I'm asking you as a friend. Just... put an end to me."
Though I agree with most of what you said, I don't agree that staying with a gf or bf because they make great sex is not a positive reason to stay in a relationship.
I agree! I am not saying the OP should/shouldn't stay with the boyfriend, just trying to understand the OP's relationship better. If there are some positives to the situation, it is important not to lose sight of them.
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