I was in a relationship with a girl then we.... And new girl

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kingem125
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25 May 2016, 9:14 am

So I was dating an aspie I'm an aspie as well, I have narcolepsy, fibromyalgia and add with ocd tendencies.

She l, let's call her j is an aspie as well with some ocd tendencies. I knew her ever since 7th grade didnt become official or even really flirt with her until I was a freshmen in high school. Pre high school we were friendly and only would talk occasionally and neither of us went out of our way to do it.

When I was a freshmen she was in a few of my classes. Also she was in my study hall thats where she sat behind me and thats when I started to notice girls more. When I would see her walk by my desk I couldnt help but look at her not to oggle bit to observe her just to see if she seemed nice or obviously stuck up.

So that went on for a few days. Then I said hey to her very nervously. she was like is that you (lets just call me m for safety sake) M?

I was like yeah. Then we started talking. She made the better part of the effort there. She would say hey and talk to me when she could be in the classes we had together.

Then I asked her out, well I told her I liked her and said what do you think if chillin in the near future? She was like im taken.

Then it went to her talking to me but alot less.

Then one day I saw her crying and she was not just crying but sobbing and I cannot stand it when people cry. Especially women and very, very much so her.

This was before class began and most of the kids were not in the room. When I saw her sitting at her desk I went up to her and put my hand on her and I said hey J what wrong.
"She said hes an A whole" I said "who" she said "my bf, he found another girl". Then "she said come here" she got up and led me to the back staircase and she burried her head Iny chest and said your the sweetest guy ever.

At that moment I felt emotionally like I never had in only the best of ways and ehen girls cry I'm a sucker for it. She told me that she should have never been with him and been with a guy like me. I said well things happen, I would never do that to a girl. I could never bear the thought of breaking a girls heart. Then she said as the bell rang she said heres my number and wrote it on a piece of paper.

Then we were together basicly ever since minus the few breaks we took to concentrate on life. Yet she would always come back to me saying that other guys arent as great as you.

with me if I know I can make a girl happy thats sad and help encourage her, and she is nice in return then I get attached semi fast and I glom onto that girl. I did on and off for 5 years till now



This time were on a "break" longer then usual.usually its 3 months now its ben 6 minths so far.She hasnt said that there are other guys cus she still lets me know what is going on even during breaks. Usually she would tell me this guy was so sweet then our convos would become scarce. Then all of.the sudden she would come back and chat my ears, and fingers off.

Now I have a girl via pof. She lives an hr. & 45 min from me. She said that she want to met up with me on friday. Yet she said idk about us as of last night because I'm so far away.

With her she was sich a sweetheart and she too has had a bunch of bad relationships. She says that she met up with her ex by accident. She said hes not ready for a relationship but that he was oh so sweet and all. I told her what be with a guy who doesn't want you, why be with a cheater. You deserve a prince, you deserve someone who would make you happy and smile. Then she proceeded to say yeah until you leave. I said im not like that talk is cheep, but you can see for your self I'm still here talking to you your a sweet girl going through a hard time.
She also said she likes being close with someone physically again.

The thing is I never do and when I do leave girls I'm faithful and I have let j check my phone to read my texts and go theough my contacts, emails and all to prove I'm not lying to her. So I never cheat when im in an exclusive relationship. If that was the case I would only talk to women if it was in a professional manner for & about work only.

She says that she still wants to meet up, well at least I get the feeling she does.She agreed to some extent when I said hey lets meet up and see how that goes and see how we feel.

she says I'm too busy for her. Im not its just I can only see her once a week. As she is so far away. I said it again and she seemed like she was up for it.

We have talked now for 2 1/2 weeks and we have both said we Like each other. She keeps in coming back and chatting alot with me. I ket her make most of the effort there.

What should I do. I know texting her alot and calling her won't do much but turn her off. Yet I dont want to fall out of touch with her...

Should I wait for J again or should I wait for friday and see whats up with this new girl and if she still wants to meet.

If we do meet she said to bring some food and she would "love that". I'm also thinking flowers or something. Idk if she would like that.

Anyways if we continue on talking I wonder how to show her that shes mine and I'm not on with any other girls and that she is my only romantic interest?

Or should I just live my life and be depressed and not be happy



Chichikov
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25 May 2016, 12:06 pm

Dude, you need to calm down. I'm reacting to the combination of this thread and your previous thread about this girl. The whole "nice guy" \ "white knight" thing just doesn't work, it is a fantasy you have in your head. You can't get a girlfriend by finding a girl with low self esteem and telling you you'll never hurt her and you'll treat her like a Queen and that by simply saying those things she has a duty to fall into your arms. You think the guys that were bad to her in the past didn't say the same things you're saying to her now? There is no magic "trick" to getting a girl, no guaranteed steps you follow, things you say and voilà, instant girlfriend.

You're coming on way too strong and girls don't like that, especially ones in her position. Her reluctance to see you is probably a result of that also, you're probably overwhelming her. What you should try first and foremost with this girl is to be her friend. No flowers, no concepts that "she's mine"...that language is pretty dark. No coming on strong, no heavy conversations, no White Knighting, no trying to save her....just be her friend, talk about normal things and try and have a laugh and have a good time. In time she might come around to the idea of something more, or she might not. That's life.



BeaArthur
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25 May 2016, 12:14 pm

Well, aren't you in an enviable position! Two girls to choose between!

As much as you feel a longer term connection with the first girl, you two aren't committed, therefore you are free to date around. Sometimes, you know, seeing a rival for affection can make someone a lot more interested!

Enjoy life and don't worry too much about shoulds and shouldn'ts - just try not to hurt anyone, and that includes yourself.


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kingem125
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Location: Spring hill tn

26 May 2016, 8:06 am

So this girl from pof mentioned above.

texts me the next day, yesterday and says it's going ok. In response to a good morning text.

Then she says it's going so so today for her as she still cannot get rhe money off of her pay card for one of her jobs.

Then I say if you need anything I'm here, but obviously within reason

Then she texts says ok :)

Then I ask her what she has planned for that day and if it was going well.she replied with its ok but im just bummed I'm going to be alone tomorrow on my b day.

Then I ask if she want anything for her b day
Then she says na I dont care to get stuff.

Then I say well when ever we meet up I'm getting you McDonald's like you had asked and flowers and candy.You wanted a medium buttermilk brisket sandwich with a sweet tea.

Then she says yeah sounds awsome. :)

Then before I can text her back she says with no tomato as I'm allergic. Then she says wish I would have invited you over.with no response fron me.

I replied essentially with,thanks for the warning about tomatoes, for me its pinnapple im alergic to...me too I wish I could have met you today. I cannot wait for friday to come and I know that theese next two days are gonna be tough waiting to meet you on friday. If you would have let me know sooner I would have been able to see you. The last thing I would want you to think to me as is rude and intrusive. If I would not have made plans I could have met you. :)

For some reason it posted a smile emoji when I wanted a frowning one.

The she replied with :/

Then I think I said why wouldnt may have said why would but I deleted the texts on accident.

But I said why wouldn't I want to spend time and do something with someone who cheers me up and also be able to cheer them up.

Then she texts ughhh

The I say I mean it.

Then she replied with

Mhm

Then I say if tou want me to hang out tomorrow then let me know. I can hang out when ever if you just shoot me your address.

Then she replied with sure.

Then I say any time you want that is.

Then nothing else

what should I do.

Should I wish her happy birthday and good morning? First. Or is this not what.shr want to hear.

Or

should I just wait and let her reply.

Also did she think that I had blown her off and lied about having to work.

If so How could I convince her its not so.



BeaArthur
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26 May 2016, 9:25 am

Don't be quite so available, you sound a little desperate. Set up a meeting with her and then stick to it.

Whatever you do, DON'T help this gal out with money. That's one of the key ways dating sites can harm people.

Do you like her pictures?


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kingem125
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26 May 2016, 9:37 am

She has refused to take my money but I say small amounts if you really absolutely need it once in a blue moon.

I like her pictures On the site. She sent me selfies where she is she's slightly heavier in that she texted me.

I feel like I'm talking to somewhat of a kindred soul.

I know I'm trying not to sound too available and again I'm also not trying to per se be the White Knight. I just want to let them know, specially this girl that I have pure intentions then I don't need to lie to her.

I'm in my question is should I wait for her to respond or should I just wait a few days and see if she still doesn't want to hang out on our set meet up time and date.

Or should I text her First and see if she doesn't respond some point today. Maybe wishing her a happy b day?

Also my last question is if she thinks I'm lying or if shes just annoyed?

I dont wanna loose her attraction and her attention and interest. Not like I need it but I feel constantly that I need more and more conversation with her. Plus im.going mad not knowing if we can meet or when we will.



BeaArthur
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26 May 2016, 11:43 am

Set up a firm date, time and place for the meet, and then don't text her other than maybe a reminder about 12 hours prior.

Texting is a very convenient method of communication for people who already know each other, but it's really crap for getting to know someone, and especially, trying to romance someone.

You don't know if she's avoiding you or if her battery went dead!

And remember: Faint heart never won fair lady. So stop looking for reassurances.


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kingem125
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Joined: 21 Apr 2016
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Location: Spring hill tn

26 May 2016, 11:47 am

Well idk I did text her again but yeah like you said. It's about imparting / showing or even implying confidence I guess.

just to quote a famous musician

g eazy-

"im no good with phones".


Which is true as Im descent in person tho.

But I will let it go then try 12 hrs prior then if no response seperate :mrgreen: