I give up :(

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Joined: 23 May 2009
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 121
Location: Dublin, Ireland

26 Jun 2011, 6:32 am

Here we go again...

There's a girl who works in a shop near me, a few times over the last two months or so I've noticed her eyeing me up and smiling at me, going out of her way to talk to me, things like that. A few weeks ago she asked me if I lived with my girlfriend, which I took to mean she was trying to find out if I was single. I told her I was single and she said she was too, so the next time I met her I handed her my number. Didn't hear back but the next time I saw her she apologised and said she lost it because her mother washed her clothes. So she asked for my phone and gave me her number this time.

Only it wasn't, I tried to text her and the message was never received on the other end. I gave her the benefit of the doubt but hadn't been able to bring it up with her as it seemed the shop was busy any time I went in. So I sent her a message on Facebook explaining that I think she gave me the wrong number. She replied a few hours later, telling me that she "feels bad" but is actually gay and has a girlfriend. For starters I don't believe that one bit. She was all over me just a couple of weeks ago, plus she said she was single initially as I mentioned above. Either she found out something about me that she didn't like, or else the whole thing was just an ego boost for her.

It just makes me feel like there's something inside me that repels women and that I'm destined to be alone, maybe I should just accept it and give up trying.

hale_bopp
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26 Jun 2011, 6:57 am

Some people just don't know what they want.

knoble7264
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26 Jun 2011, 7:25 am

It sounds like she was practicing her flirting skills. Poor you. Perhaps best just to let her have her fun and not take her flirting too seriously. You could always practice on her. Smile and wink next time you see her - then walk away.

Last edited by knoble7264 on 26 Jun 2011, 10:38 am, edited 1 time in total.

Ilka
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26 Jun 2011, 8:09 am

Maybe the girl has a multiple personalities disorder, is bipolar or something. Either way, I think you are very lucky. Thank God you did not invest more time or feelings on her. I think it was Eleonor Roosevelt who said something like people cannot hurt you unless you allow them to. Do not allow that crazy woman to hurt you. Just do not spend more neurons thinking about that. By the way, I think you behaved nicely. Congrats!

CheshireCat1
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26 Jun 2011, 11:45 am

I have never heard or known of someone that would do something so mean like that.

steeviebops
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26 Jun 2011, 4:46 pm

hale_bopp wrote:

Some people just don't know what they want.

Hey, we're the same age! Haha. : )

Someone told me today that maybe she was just being friendly and I might have taken it the wrong way, but asking someone if they have a girlfriend is a bit personal, at least I think so anyway.

calamity138
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26 Jun 2011, 7:47 pm

Don't give up keep trying the fact of the matter is most people don't really know what they are looking for and most NTs seem to try for a broad spectrum approach to dating. Much like using dynamite to fish. One girl who didn't seem to be all she was isn't a reason to give up : )

RICKY5
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26 Jun 2011, 10:38 pm

steeviebops wrote:

Here we go again...

There's a girl who works in a shop near me, a few times over the last two months or so I've noticed her eyeing me up and smiling at me, going out of her way to talk to me, things like that. A few weeks ago she asked me if I lived with my girlfriend, which I took to mean she was trying to find out if I was single. I told her I was single and she said she was too, so the next time I met her I handed her my number. Didn't hear back but the next time I saw her she apologised and said she lost it because her mother washed her clothes. So she asked for my phone and gave me her number this time.

Only it wasn't, I tried to text her and the message was never received on the other end. I gave her the benefit of the doubt but hadn't been able to bring it up with her as it seemed the shop was busy any time I went in. So I sent her a message on Facebook explaining that I think she gave me the wrong number. She replied a few hours later, telling me that she "feels bad" but is actually gay and has a girlfriend. For starters I don't believe that one bit. She was all over me just a couple of weeks ago, plus she said she was single initially as I mentioned above. Either she found out something about me that she didn't like, or else the whole thing was just an ego boost for her.

It just makes me feel like there's something inside me that repels women and that I'm destined to be alone, maybe I should just accept it and give up trying.

That's exactly what it was. Just a quick hit of male validation.

hale_bopp
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26 Jun 2011, 11:45 pm

RICKY5 wrote:

steeviebops wrote:

Here we go again...

There's a girl who works in a shop near me, a few times over the last two months or so I've noticed her eyeing me up and smiling at me, going out of her way to talk to me, things like that. A few weeks ago she asked me if I lived with my girlfriend, which I took to mean she was trying to find out if I was single. I told her I was single and she said she was too, so the next time I met her I handed her my number. Didn't hear back but the next time I saw her she apologised and said she lost it because her mother washed her clothes. So she asked for my phone and gave me her number this time.

Only it wasn't, I tried to text her and the message was never received on the other end. I gave her the benefit of the doubt but hadn't been able to bring it up with her as it seemed the shop was busy any time I went in. So I sent her a message on Facebook explaining that I think she gave me the wrong number. She replied a few hours later, telling me that she "feels bad" but is actually gay and has a girlfriend. For starters I don't believe that one bit. She was all over me just a couple of weeks ago, plus she said she was single initially as I mentioned above. Either she found out something about me that she didn't like, or else the whole thing was just an ego boost for her.

It just makes me feel like there's something inside me that repels women and that I'm destined to be alone, maybe I should just accept it and give up trying.

That's exactly what it was. Just a quick hit of male validation.

The op might get some more valid feedback from people who aren't bitter and have experience with girls tbh.

IMO, she sounds like a bit of a dork, way would someone ask if you have a GF if they wern't interested. Maybe she got cold feet. Maybe she didn't know if she really liked you (That DOES happen), I've never in my life heard of a woman coming onto a guy for an "ego boost". Maybe because she has low self esteem, girls with low self esteem flirt with everyone because they like the attention, but thats it really.

swbluto
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27 Jun 2011, 1:16 am

hale_bopp wrote:

Some people just don't know what they want.

In her case, she probably learned what she didn't want and now she knows!

AngelKnight
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27 Jun 2011, 2:13 pm

steeviebops wrote:

It just makes me feel like there's something inside me that repels women and that I'm destined to be alone, maybe I should just accept it and give up trying.

She wouldn't be the first (supposedly) adult woman to behave like a schoolgirl all over a fella. Don't worry too much about it and don't get hung up on it. If nothing else it may make the job you have harder than it should be.

As far as I can see, seems there's plenty of fish in Dublin. [1]

[1] I hate this phrase, but it's the only one coming to mind that's closest to the meaning in mind. Apologies.

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