This is what I did when this girl whom I've been hooking up with, started to withdraw.
As usually happens with most relationships with NT's I sent her the wrong signals and as a result she thought that I was getting really serious about the relationship, when in fact I wasnt headed in that direction at all. I had seen her as a girl that I was simply getting to know, and she thought I was much more involved than that.
The cue was when her roomates started acting strange around me, whispering, being all secretive, and whatnot. Also, this girl started to get very awkward around me, when previously she was very open, and easy.
So, having a pretty good idea of what was going on, and knowing that because I didnt really feel that way about her, I decided to initiate a conversation to confirm what I suspected. And what do you know? I hit it dead on. I asked her for her opinion on our "status." This is the best way to figure this out guys. Asking them is the best way, because it reveals nothing about your motives before you know what theirs are. I find that as an aspie I all too often reveal all of what I'm feeling simply because I believe that honesty is the best policy. Well honesty is the best policy, but dont forget they havent asked you anything! Only tell them what they need to know, and by that I mean, what they ask you. I then proceded to explain to her that I wasnt really that serious, that I had an issue that made non-verbal communication difficult for me. I explained that I was confused by the signals I was sent, and sent some very confusing signals of my own. Then I promised her that I was at the same level as her in the friendship, that I was also just, "testing the waters."
I think she believed me because she seemed much happier after the convo.
So for those of you who find the women in your life acting awkward, when you know this may apply, be the first to confront the situation, cause they will stay away from the subject, and you, because they believe it is how to fix the situation. If you step up, Im sure they will be very understanding of your situation and chances are the whole thing will work out and you can go back to being mr. macdaddy!
Peace!
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Life's a wave, learn to ride it.
Last edited by tweeks on 12 Sep 2006, 2:11 am, edited 1 time in total.
11 Sep 2006, 9:35 pm
pertty insightful stuff and good advice(female here)...(now,if we can only train you guys to put your laundry in the laundry basket and take out the garbage before it stinks....)
