Unrequited love / social withdrawl and more......

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When i was in high school about five years ago there was this girl i liked or thought i did at least . She approached me and lusted after me for long periods , then after whatever class id see her in , id see her and what i believe was her boyfriend at the time holding each other in the hallway . It was from this simple act , that brought out my aspie confusion and anger . I grew more suspicious and neurotic towards over time , and kept asking her questions , but she turned to stone whenever i brought up the subject . I felt we had something going , she never judged me or anything and opened up her old wounds to me , telling me things noone i thought ever would . She would always say how good looking i was , and how nice i was to everyone . Before my hatred grew towards her , i was understanding of her personal faults , always made her laugh and tried to be sincere as possible . But within a few weeks of my belief we had connected in some ways , i hear from somebody shes making out with some guy , and from then on , id always see her with him . Then she stopped showing up to classes , ignoring my phone calls . After this all ended suddenly i realised i never really made any move to her sexualiy and i told her i was a virgin and she said she felt sorry for me . Those simple words and moments ( i wont go into detail ) we had toegether will forever haunt me . Now five years after the damage she got married and had a kid , now im stuck still thinking of what might have been , i know she had problems of her own , but ever since then ive gotten , deeper and deeper into depression to the point where i was doing drugs and drinking alot . Finding out she was the school slut added to the fact on how clueless i was , i never saw the warning signs , now im stuck in a permant state of sexual frustration and sadness , i figure my aspergers had taken over at that point , now whenever i saw her afterword she acted mean towards me , and told everyone i was a virgin and caused an scene which left me in tears . Since then i vowed celibacy and have a misnthropic view towards all women in general , i know its wrong but it became to overwhelming . Thats my story , theres probably more i left out , but still .....

Adam

There's nothing in the world as sad as unrequited love and - easy as it might be to say - try to not let it drive you and your motivations for the future.

Good luck.

J.

You do know the injustices women the world over have suffered at the hands of men don't you?

Would that justify me hating you because you are a man? Of course not.

You were hurt by a person who happened to be female. But what about all of the females in your life who were kind to you? Don't they deserve recognition for their kindness? What about women who might very well like to be your girlfriend or wife? You haven't found one yet, and you might never depending on a variety of things, but chances are, she is out there somewhere.

This girl who hurt you was a child and you have to forgive her for the fact that she likely wasn't socially mature enough to handle the relationship better. Maybe she did like you at first but after she got to know you decided you two weren't eachothers type. Maybe she thought you just wanted to be her friend...that happens a lot. She thinks he wants to be a friend, he thinks she wants to be a girlfriend, and when she finds out he wants to date her and he finds out she doesn't want to date him, both parties become hurt and upset and feel deceived and taken advantage of.

Anyway, you are still young and still have the potential to find your soul mate but if you can't let the past go and can't rid yourself of your negative feelings of women in general, your chances of finding her become exceedingly slim because that hate will simmer just under the surface and every time your relationship with a woman doesn't turn out the way you want it (and you will likely have failures before you have success), it will rise to the surface and destroy relationships that may have been redeemable and relationships that could have been, had you not harbored this hatred.

Adam88, this is some support from Adam82!

Unrequited love is just awful. I know, I've been there more times than I'd like to admit. It just eats away your soul. It's one of the worst feelings in the world. I don't really have a cure for you, I am going through one at the moment myself But don't let it kill you. Don't let it get you down. Unrequited love has made me feel utterly worthless as a human being. It's made me borderline suicidal. I don't know how I survived sometimes.

But if you keep trying, eventually someone will come along. Right? I hope so...

yeah man Rick5 speaks the truth. dont believe in all the 'soulmate' BS. I am dating right now and have had 3 ex's in the past. I almost married one of them too. It is cliche but there really are many many fish in the sea for you. Heres how i see it, lets say you are personality type G. Of all the women in the world u can have anyone ranging from A to Z, the more women you encounter the more likely you will meet somebody who was closer to your own personality type. im making these up just to make my point.

Ex. My 1st gf in high school was like a B or something, but I was a M type and we were really different. it ended quickly.
#2 and 3 were closer like E and F, but still not in the immediate vicinity as M....but Rachel is like a N type, just one away from my M. we have common interests, similar world views and share similar values but we do have small differences. its mainly cultural since shes from Alabama and Im from Hawaii.... you see?

you are looking to get a 100% match or something, like if u were an C type u were looking for another C type which is mathematically not that plausible. learn to be able to deal with ppl like.....5 'types' away from ya, meaning just work on your outgoingness, social skills and you will be able to be compatible with women who are not exactly 100% your type.

I didn't claim there was only one soul mate for each person. There are likely many soul mates.

So she judged you for being a virgin, and you judge her for not being one.
Even-steven; a completely-irrational prejudice against billions of people based on comparable genitalia is not needed.

Oh man, please don't judge relationships based on what they were like in high school. My high school boyfriend didn't break up with me, he just stopped talking to me. Took me ages to figure out what was happening. One girl in my year broke up with her boyfriend for not giving her a 1 month aniversary present. Another girl got revenge on her ex by going down on another girls boyfriend at a party in front of everyone!

People grow up and realise they can't play with other people's feelings anymore (somewhat.) Harbouring hate for this girl isn't going to help, it hurts you and makes no difference to her. You know, deep down she's probably really sad about the way things turned out too. If you really can't let go try writing the most vitriolic letter to her that you can (just don't send it.)

_________________
http://defeatingthedoginthedaytime.blogspot.com/

the trials and tribulations of a girl pretending to be normal.

Thank you all for your sincere answers all of you . I realise though from the state i was in at the time i was too naive of peoples emotions. Yes , it was immaturity and yes i was reading too deep into things , using logic instead of my gut instincts that can really kill any form of bond . I was too vunerable for her and maybe came off as the non alpha male , its not her fault in that aspect . But what details i didnt go into before was that she used guys all the time . Played games , of course for an nt in high school its nothing new . She will pop into my head sometimes , even lurk into my dreams like a lost memory , i'd wake up and it would always feel too vivid for me even to describe . I was dating another girl for almost a year before , i myself ended it . She was from germany and was brought up in a very strict and emotional devoid envoirment , her dad always told her to break up with me , cause he felt that i was a shiftless loser . I did fall in love briefly with her , but she wanted kids right away , wanted to move out of her parents house. Away from the abuse and pain , i had to end it there because she wanted marriage and everything was going too fast so that had to come to an end for me sadly . I havent kept in touch with her for several months . It was after this breakup that made me reflect back on the girl i never got in high school , but this time around doing self reflecting , im done with the superfical BS , i'm not ready for a realtionship yet , but maybe one day there will be a light for me . To quote a smiths song " There is a light that will never go out ".