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Placing her as priority above obsessions

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Pride
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06 Jul 2011, 2:12 pm

Hi guys. I'll be brief.

I've got a partner who I literally cannot leave, for a good, genuine reason that isn't relevant to this question (kindly, do not get derailed asking about it or discussing it).

I "suffer" from obsessions and I'm continually putting them in front of my partner. I need to learn how to put her first. Can anyone tell me where to start, how this is done?

Thanks.



OneStepBeyond
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06 Jul 2011, 2:18 pm

are you the pony man?

it comes quite naturally to me to obsess over people.
does she mind being second? maybe just making a conscious effort to put her first every now and then would be sufficient to keep her happy and make her feel important.



Lene
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06 Jul 2011, 2:32 pm

Pride wrote:
(kindly, do not get derailed asking about it or discussing it).


aww...

Quote:
I "suffer" from obsessions and I'm continually putting them in front of my partner. I need to learn how to put her first. Can anyone tell me where to start, how this is done?


What are your obsessions?

Whatever they are, it's probably too late for your current ones; you've already shunted your partner to the side so she's going to resent them now. Even if you do curtail them, it will take less for her to get annoyed than before hand.

From now on though, if you notice yourself getting interested in something (or if she starts dropping heavy hints), try to scale it down immediately before it becomes a problem.

If you think back, there's probably a pattern (ask her if she's noticed too) and ask her to point out early when it's starting to bug her. When it does, you'll just have to consciously scale back on it, or research it when she's not around.



metaphysics
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08 Jul 2011, 3:50 am

Pride wrote:
Hi guys. I'll be brief.

I've got a partner who I literally cannot leave, for a good, genuine reason that isn't relevant to this question (kindly, do not get derailed asking about it or discussing it).

I "suffer" from obsessions and I'm continually putting them in front of my partner. I need to learn how to put her first. Can anyone tell me where to start, how this is done?

Thanks.


I have experienced the similar thing before....alas.

Please don't make it hard..It would be harder if you do so... Follow your heart and soul. As long as you can make her feel your genuine love...

Priority is not the point, I think. Maybe you should make her feel your genuine love, first of all....

Then gradually it may be achieved...

Just follow your heart and soul, only do things that you think can be done easily..once reached it, then you can try more...



thing2b
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09 Jul 2011, 8:21 am

Pride wrote:
Hi guys. I'll be brief.

I've got a partner who I literally cannot leave, for a good, genuine reason that isn't relevant to this question (kindly, do not get derailed asking about it or discussing it).

I "suffer" from obsessions and I'm continually putting them in front of my partner. I need to learn how to put her first. Can anyone tell me where to start, how this is done?

Thanks.


I have tried avoiding my obsessions completely but it usually ends up with me not being the nicest person to be around. Try to find a balance between her and your obsessions. Have you talked to her about it? (Just thought I would ask)