The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
What I find saddening about my love life (more accurately, the total lack of it), is not being virgin or the lack of sex, but rather the lack of adult experiences that I was supposed of having them during my 20s, and no, I am not just referring to sex, but also to intimacy, the feelings, relationship-related's good memories and even the bad memories.
Some claim that being single with the lack of such experiences/memories is much better and less painful than ending up single after an unsuccessful relationship /or series of relationships that all ended up in failure. I totally disagree with this, that's not true at all, not on the long run at least.
This may be true if you are comparing someone who just got a break up some month ago to someone who never experienced love in his life, but on the long run it is the latter who will remain less satisfied in life and still wondering "what it is even like....?". The former is also more likely to experience them again while the latter is more likely to never experience anything of this, an idea that sometimes would horrify him/her, the latter is more likely to have a feeling of always being kinda deprived in life.
Just a simple analogy, Imagine a person A got plenty of toys/games in his life as kid, played with a lot of them yet for some reason he no longer played with toys later in his life (either he got tired of them or just couldn't get them anymore) and the person B has never ever got the opportunity to play with a toy as a kid, yet always saw toys at stores and witnessed other kids owning toys during all his childhood. I guess it's obvious which one would feel more deprived for good, Person A had at least good memories and knew how it's like playing with toys.
That's also why orphans who never knew their parents are much more likely to have psychological issues than orphans who remember their parents and lived with them before they die, the latter type would feel great sadness for years, but the former type would feel emptiness ,lacking...for a lifetime.
Here's something I learned the hard way about missed chances and missed rites of passage: do NOT try to make up for lost time. Do NOT try to get all those moments the first time you have a girl. It will only creep them out and scare them off. Take it slow. Pretend like you've been there, done that before. That's the best way you can keep a girl and not come across as odd. I would know, I've missed this, and tried to make up for that later.
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When you know you don't have all the answers, you begin to ask the right questions.
-Dr. Erik Selvig, Thor
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