Friend Zoned: A Woman's Tale

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My feelings are slightly inappropriate as the object of my lustful thoughts is 17 years younger than me at 28 years old. We kinda have a vibe, and I think if our ages were closer we might have something going on. He is in his prime and has lots of mates. I am aging and prefer to be on my own for the most part. So I'm doing what I do with any compulsive thoughts. Acknowledging them and moving on moment to moment.

I know mostly this happens to guys, but thought I'd share that it sucks when it happens to a woman too.

And I use the term friend zoned deliberately as we do remain friends. And that's great because being in his company is enjoyable.

Break the friendship and forget him. The age gap is too big.

For a relationship, yes. But not for a friendship.

Can't you be his 'cougar'? He might like it.

People have made it work with bigger age gaps than that before. I have a friend in a similar situation, but he's actually involved with the older woman.

Women seem to always expect men to make the first step.

Do you consider yourself friendzoned because he has not initiated anything romantic?

Maybe if you try to make your desire for more than friendship more apparent, he might escalate it.

He might think that because of the age gap, you might not have a romantical interest.

The_Face_of_Boo posted a picture that pretty much sums it up. Try to be more obvious or even... *gasp* make the first step yourself

This is a good example that being "friend zoned" is something that can happen to women as well

No you can stay friends. I have a couple of male friends who are 20 years older than me who I kinda think if we were the same age there would be more there, but, yeah well, the age thing

Good grief!

Why is everyone either bagging on androbot01 for having a younger friend, or suggesting that she become a more sexually aggressive "cougar"?

@androbot01: In my opinion, no one else should tell you what to do. It's YOUR relationship, not theirs.

Really, if you DO have a love relationship, it's legal--and there's nothing wrong with it! You are both full-grown adults. You said that he doesn't want to take it further--but who knows? Maybe he'll change his mind!

It's actually fairly common for an older man to go out with a younger girl--not so much vice versa, though. Even so, I don't see the problem if you actually hit it off.

It shows you have a healthy desire for love. You're not a lost cause after all, Ann!

I know they say do what makes you happy, and to hell with everyone else, but I've been in a similar situation before, and trust me, other people will give you crap about it...constantly. So, if both of you are up to dealing with strange looks from strangers, and all of the mommy figure, jail-bait, cradle-robber, and cougar comments, then go for it.

People should be respectful to each other, and be happy that other people are happy (no matter the age, sex, or race differences), but they're not...they're as*holes.

I don't think androbot was offended by the cougar comment - it was a reference to her being the older (fact) hence more experienced and a hint for her to do the first move.

It turned out she did, and he rejected her - I dont think anything further can be done, noble guys, no means no.